Polluting The Shades
by mrswentworth1904
Summary: Modern adaptation of the Jane Austen classic. Lizzie Bennet has a new career at the widely acclaimed Rosings Park and the whole world at her feet. She has no intention of letting anything get in her way, especially not her tall dark and handsome boss Nicholas Darcy.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Lizzie**

"Elizabeth Ann Bennet! Remove yourself from that bathroom at once, Jane needs to get ready for the ceremony!" My mother's shrill cries carry through the whole house.

I swear under my breath and scowl at my reflection in the mirror. So much of me wanting right now to shout back 'it's _my_ bloody graduation ceremony, not Jane's.' Instead I find myself counting to ten and answering in a calm sweet expected voice, "five minutes mum and I'm done. Sorry Jane."

"Its fine Lizzie, I'll use mum and dads en-suite."

My sister Jane, always the peace keeper.

"No you can't Jane! Lydia and Kitty have already taken over in there. Just get Lizzie to come out and you can go in."

I pick my head up looking back at my reflection. Let's be honest, nothing I could possibly do in this bathroom to myself was going to make any improvement. I may as well give up now.

"But Mum…" Jane begins.

"It's ok Jane." I say, stomping down the stairs. She is sat neatly on the bottom step looking gorgeous already in a simple dressing gown. "I'm done, it's all yours."

"About time young lady." Mum comes bustling past us at full speed. "Jane shout me when you're ready for your hair doing."

"Okay mum." Jane shuts her eyes tight and flinches. I'm sure at twenty three she had no intention of letting our mother loose on that gorgeous mane of blonde hair flowing down to her waist in effortless perfect waves.

Now at this point it may seem I have some on-going hidden jealousy issues with my big sister Jane, but I will end that nonsense right here.

Jane was incredibly beautiful.

Out of the five of us Bennet girls she was the prettiest. To tell the truth, she was Super model worthy. And yes, usually this would encourage some sort of sibling rivalry between us. But honestly, other than my dad, Jane was my saviour in this house, keeping me calm against the madness, like a bubble surrounding me.

The thing with Jane is, she was just as beautiful on the inside, as the out. Probably a lot more. My mother idolised Jane. Setting her on a pedestal above all us other daughters. Strangely none of us minded. Expect maybe Lydia, but we'll come to her in a bit. Jane could do no wrong in my mother's eyes. Don't get me wrong Jane never did try to do any wrong, but even if she did, my mum would forgive her. Despite this, Jane had disappointed my mother once, and boy was she paying for it, possibly for the rest of her life. You see, Jane had had one dream her whole life and much to my mother's dismay it did not involve a catwalk. Jane was a teacher.

She loved her job, loved her kids and was amazing at it. Mum had definitely come around and realised there were worse things in this world that your amazingly gifted daughter answering her call to help children learn and grow into better people. But this did not stop the fact every time there was any event, even if one where Jane was not supposed to be centre of attention, it gave my mum a chance to push her starlet into the light and wait for some handsome prince to snap her up. Yes, my mum's one true obsession in life was to get Jane married off. To be truthful, to get us _all_ married off. She was convinced that any man of wealth must be in want of wife to spend it on, and her five daughters were just the wives. Despite protests from myself and my other siblings, that we should be allowed to make our own choices and live as independent women, we were shot down and match made with any eligible bachelor that had the unfortunate opportunity to give my mother a 'yes', to the question every young person dreads: "are you single?"

I enter the kitchen looking for my cap and gown to go over my plain but well fitted dress. I didn't really see the point in dressing up, seeing as my clothes would be hidden beneath this big black monstrosity. When Jane had graduated she managed to make it look like the whole ensemble had been tailored just for her. Me..? I looked like I was wearing a black bin bag.

I sat down at the kitchen table slipping my foot into one of my uncomfortable heels, another thing I would not be wearing by choice. I hear a chuckle coming from behind the newspaper opposite me. My dad's caring face peeps around the front page and gives me a knowing wink.

"Eight minutes."

"Eight minutes? What does that mean?" I grimace sliding the other shoe on.

"Eight minutes is all I'm giving you in those shoes, after you have left that stage before those heels come off." He chuckled again.

He knows me so well, too well. I am a daddy's girl. I don't mind admitting it. My dad and I sort of go together, not only do I look like him, but we have the same sense of humour, something that earns neither of us brownie points with my mother.

"JAMES BENNET!" _Speak of the devil_. And what was with all the full naming around here today? Or come to think about it, was that just reserved for my dad and I? I don't remember her referring to Jane that way.

"Coming my dear." Dad gets up and shuffles off. Sometimes I wonder how those two ever got together, they're so far apart. Yet, I only had to see the way he looks at mum to know he wouldn't be happy with anyone else. That was what I wanted. Not some young doctor helping out at dad's practice, who my mother had decided should come round for a bite to eat and possibly a life partner.

Knowing I had approximately thirty minutes before all hell broke loose, I decided to catch a few breaths of fresh air and went for a walk outside. Our cottage, well more like two cottages knocked into one really, stood on the edge of - in my opinion - one of the most beautiful villages in England. Meryton, Hertfordshire, was the picture postcard English village, we had climbing roses, a village green, post office, pub, church, school where Jane taught and my Dads surgery. Actually, scrap that last part. What _used_ to be my dad's surgery would be more accurate.

My dad had been the family doctor since we moved here, before I was born. Originally there had been Doctor Fisher, he had lived in the house that accompanied the surgery. I looked over the lush grass of the green, above the heads of the boys playing cricket, to the dilapidated 'Netherfield House.' Since Doctor Fisher had lived there when my mum and dad moved to Meryton, dad had bought a little cottage affectionately known as 'Longbourn.' As our family grew, so did the cottage, resulting in dad having to purchase the one next door and knocking through. That was after daughter number four made an appearance, but my mum wasn't done and two years later, Lydia was born.

Now dad had retired and a new doctor was supposedly moving to take over my dad's practice, a Doctor Collins. We didn't know much about him, apart from the fact he had worked his way up on a scholarship as part of the Rosings Park foundation, picked out by the benefactor Lady Catherine herself no less. We were all very excited to meet the mysterious Mr Collins. My mother especially! We knew two things for sure about Mr Collins: one he had a flat near the university in town, so 'Netherfield' would remain in its lonely state; and second, he was single. I felt a sense of melancholy looking at the old place that would surely turn to ruin before long.

"Lizzie! Lizzie!" My name flowed from an upstairs open window.

"No you don't Kitty. I'm going to ask her first! I saw them first!" _Now what?_

"Get out the way Lydia, I'm the oldest!"

I let out a long sigh, what were those two bickering about now? Kitty was the oldest, by two years. At seventeen, she was a miniature Jane, or should that be miniature mum. Because all the Bennet girls took after the busty blonde bombshell that was my mother. All the Bennet girls, except one. At forty-seven she was still very much the looker even now, but when she had been our age she had been the belle of the ball. The doctors ball in fact, and my dad had snapped her up and never let her go since. That was the story we had had repeated to us over and over.

Jane, as I mentioned earlier was the model, Kitty was a close second. She also had the long blonde naturally wavy hair, big blue eyes and gorgeous figure. Legs that went on for days, cleavage to die for and a tiny waist, hips and bum. I hate her, I hate them all - only joking of course. Kitty had just started college and had no idea what she wanted to do with her life, but it involved either being - or dating - someone rich and famous.

Lydia despite only being fifteen - the baby - was heading the exact same way. She was so much like Kitty to look at, people assumed they were twins. This helped Lydia break the rules repeatedly when it came to going out on the town with her big sisters. Now Mary, bless her, she was a blip on the radar as much as me. She, the middle sister at nineteen, is just starting an arts degree at Uni. She is amazingly talented, I can't even begin to understand what goes on that head of hers, but what comes out in her different mediums of art, design and sculpture is out of this world. The kid was going places. But not today! Slap bang in the middle of her goth stage where everything was depressing unless it involved death, she dyed her platinum blonde hair black, had it cut into a pixy bob, painted her lips and nails black and had thick black eyeliner outlining her ice blue eyes. The effect had overcome my mother who had promptly fainted, only to be revived by smelling salts and my dad joking that at least we didn't have tattoos and piercing. Secretly I think that was only a matter of time.

Back to present day, mum had told Mary that unless she changed her appearance she would not be allowed to accompany us to my graduation ceremony. I felt bad for Mary, but proud of the way she stood her ground apologised to me mumbling something about a system and how she wouldn't bow down. She was upstairs with her ipod in destroying her ear drums a decibel at a time. My mums words, not mine.

Now picture if you will, the sight of these four gorgeous blonde princess being led by their queen mother, and then there's this somewhat awkward misfit shoved in the middle with dark brown hair and eyes. Average height and way too many freckles, and you've got me. I had inherited the tiny waist, bum and hips, but let's be honest when you're flanked by four angels, no one really gets that far. I did wonder for a fleeting second that I could be the result of some scandalous affair involving my mother and the milkman, but one look at my dad and you know exactly who I take after. Two peas in a pod, my dad's mum would call us. I loved my gran. I still miss her. I guess that's why my dad and I are so close.

I look up at the sound of the bedroom window opening, to see Jane's beaming face looking down on me, she looks gorgeous. Like she's ready for a photo shoot or something, how does she do it? "Lizzie, you'd better get in, its world war three in here. Something about a red belt?"

Yeah, that would be _my_ red belt. My brand new - not worn yet, keeping for a special occasion - red belt. I hate having little sisters! Jane I cope with, Jane would never go into my room - well our room, since we share - and steal my brand new belt, out of the box in the bottom of my wardrobe. I rush inside. "Kitty! Lydia! If either of you have my new red belt I swear to God…"

Mum catches me. "Oh leave them be Lizzie, it's not like you were ever going to wear it, is it?"

"Mother! That's not the point, I work. I have a job so I can buy nice things, not so my annoying little sisters can take my stuff!" I say the last part loud enough so the whole house can hear.

"Alright, alright, now come on or we are going to be late." She bustles past me, I bite my tongue to prevent myself snapping back at my mother, that I have been ready for my gradation for the past hour and will probably be late do to the fact this mad house can't get its act together.

My dad comes down the stairs wearing a suit and pulling at his tie, he hates wearing a suit, even when he was the doctor he never wore a tie. I smile at him, he's done that for me. I knew deep down that it would be my dad most proud of me today. It was his dream and mine. When I was child I wanted to grow up and become a doctor and take over his practice. Alas, my shocking tolerance for the sight of blood and all things hospital related put stop to that. So here I was on my exciting adventure through life becoming a … wait for it… Legal secretary! I wasn't proud, it wasn't my dream job. To be honest I wasn't even sure what that was. I know at twenty one I should at least have an idea, but I never got the calling like Jane did. Maybe I was too engrossed in reading a book at the time and I missed it. So here I was about to graduate with honours I would probably never get a chance to use to their full potential, and start my new job at Rosings Park, the world renowned legal firm. I'm ashamed to admit I was only given this position through my dad. He had a friend who worked there and he got me a way in. I know I should have done the hard slog and worked my way in, but hey, it's not _what_ you know... Right?

Somehow, the six of us finally make it to my ceremony. I walk on stage collect my scroll, pose for photographs, throw up my cap, and just like that, I'm no longer a kid. I mean I obviously have been a grown up for a while now. But this was real. I would be moving out of my beloved family home, going to live in a flat owned by my aunt and uncle, who prefer to spend their retirement at their house in the country rather than in the city. I was starting my new job in three days' time. But more than anything I would be alone. Not one of the Bennet girls, not just a sister, ' _you know the brunette?_ ' but Elizabeth Bennet, legal secretary, completely alone. I was so scared but that immense feeling was over whelmed by something much more. Excitement.

As we made our way into the beautiful marquee set up for friends and family to congratulate their loved one, or in my mother's case, parade us round like dogs at ' _Crufts,'_ I caught the eye of three people that seemed completely out of place. Neither students nor family as far as I could see. They were just stood together in a corner. The man at the front had a warm smile and a sparkle in his eye, as I followed his line of sight I immediately understood why. _Jane_. He was completely enthralled by her. Couldn't take his eyes off her, I sighed, she's done it again. How does she get all these guys to fall in love with her without even trying? I mean she isn't even acknowledging him, she chatting to my best friend from Uni, Charlotte Lucas.

Jane's admirer was about five' ten", had strawberry blonde hair and lovely warm green eyes. He was good looking, in that boy next door kind of way, and had the poise and manners to suggest he was from a middle class back ground. Not so haughty he was looking down on others, but thought enough of himself to stand out in a crowd. Behind him was an attractive woman, probably a bit older than Jane and I. I'd say late twenties if I had to guess. She was tall and slender and had her flaming red hair swept up in some complicated twist. Despite it being an informal setting, she had on a sharp business trouser suit in the palest pink you'd think it was white. I've always thought pink to look bad on red heads, but boy did I get that wrong. She had more than one male eye on her. She seemed to be taking in the room through her cold green eyes and whispering feverously to the tall dark man beside her.

He had his back to everyone, seeming to be taking in the scenery outside instead of what was going on in the room. He chuckled once or twice at something ' _Green Eyes'_ said. Even hunched over he looked big built. Long strong arms sheathed in a black suit, startling white shirt collar poking out at the base of his neck. His dark hair was cut to a precision finish. Everything about this man screamed designer, perfection money and power. He hadn't even turned round. I was dying to know who he was, who all three of them were. I wasn't about to pull a 'Mrs Bennet' and resort to gossip. I did the thing I always did in these situations. I went to my dad.

I found him wandering around near to the buffet table obviously wanting to be first in line once it was open. His brown eyes lit up as soon as he found mine and he pulled me into a big dad hug. Making me feel special and protected all at once. Who needs a man when my dad can make me feel like this with one hug? Answer? Me, pretty much - though I'd never admit it to my mother. I'd been on plenty of dates in my time, don't get me wrong and I had had a relationship while at Uni that lasted about six months before I realised it was going nowhere. Now I was making a fresh start and realised that if someone should enter my life, I was willing to take a chance, a leap of faith and fall in love.

"What's up Lizzie?"

"Nothing dad, except I wondered if you knew who they were," I pointed with my chin. "That little group at the back?" To my mortification he stretched on his tip toes angling to get a better view of them, he seemed to break Jane's admirer away from her face and on to his, recognition followed and the mystery man gave my dad a huge smile and made his way over. Thankfully not accompanied by the other two.

"Dad!" I hissed into his shoulder, "I didn't mean I wanted to talk to him, I just wanted to know who he, who _they_ , were!" My dad shrugged as it was the most natural thing in the world to address a complete stranger at a party.

"This Lizzie, is Mr Charles Bingley." My dad shook Mr Bingley's hand and gestured towards me, "meet my second eldest daughter Elizabeth, Mr Bingley."

Mr Bingley smiled and took my hand, "charmed I'm sure Elizabeth."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Mr Darcy**

"Oh please call me Lizzie, everyone does." Miss Bennet replies, she seems at ease with him already.

How did he do that? I was never good at making introductions. In a courtroom I held my own but in intimate informal settings I was out of my depth. I prefer to be around people I know and can trust, even then I would always hide my true character. I was brought up to only display what was expected of me. People heard the name Darcy and the fact it was associated with Pemberley and Rosings and they expected someone with impeccable manners, a love of the fine arts and everything else good and proper. Very few people had seen the real me. I missed the chance to relax, to have fun, to take off the mask of the wealthy aristocratic Mr Darcy and just be Nick. What must it be like to come to something like this and just be yourself? Be care free and happy to chit chat with whoever you liked the look of. I would perhaps never know. I knew my aunt had plans for me, I had overheard enough hushed conversations to know whatever it was I wouldn't like it. The fact she was going to such lengths to hide it from me was proof enough.

I wasn't a child, I was a man and I should be able to make my own decisions reading _my_ life. But it wasn't just _my_ life, was it? My personal decisions had a way of affecting everyone around me. Being ten years older my parents had placed Georgiana in my care upon their deaths, which meant a reckless life was out of the question. I spent most of my days wondering if I was doing everything my parents would have wanted. I had already failed her once. I wasn't intending doing it again. I had a large estate and large workforce who relied on me to keep them employed. At Rosings I had my own career to think about, between all this an actual life for me seemed a distant dream.

My eyes involuntarily stray to her again. What was it about her that kept me coming back? She wasn't of any significance, just another young girl at a party. The black gown did nothing for her figure. My eyes slid down her body and came to rest of her feet. _Her bare feet_. Her toes were peeking out from under her long black graduation gown. My jaw drops in astonishment and I shake my head while gaping at her. For god sake. What sort of person takes off their shoes and wanders around a marque full of people? Had she no sense? I don't know whether to laugh or pity her. She was everything I had trained myself to refrain from over the years. Her personality a direct opposite to my own. The type of girl who would no doubt try to entice me with her _charms_ and then when she had me under some kind of spell, leave with half my fortune. Luckily, I was not as easy as that or naïve. I had learned long ago to seek out the fortune hunters from the women truly craving my affection. Unfortunately, there weren't as many of the latter as the former. Not that I could blame them. I was a very wealthy man. Not only that which I had inherited but in my own career.

A loud woman is making an exhibit of herself, fawning all over the lecturers and telling anyone who will listen how gorgeous her eldest daughter was and how she couldn't have been beautiful for nothing, it was obvious she was to make someone fall in love with her. How lucky that someone would be to have her. Bingley's name was mentioned with relation to him buying Netherfield and she professed her opinion of how wealthy he must be. I gritted my teeth against the open disregard of manners. I couldn't think of nothing worse than to have her as a mother in law. No matter how stunning her daughter was, I couldn't lower myself to put up with relations like that. I find myself looking towards _her_ again to see what her opinion is of the over bearing mother, instead I find her looking towards me. I know she's noticed me, she's met Charlie it's only natural we should make our introductions too and yet I remain here, across the room just watching the interactions between the different people and feeling jealous of not being able to behave that natural myself. Caroline is still at my side like a constant reminder of how we are different to everyone there. I used to think I preferred it that way, but lately I feel myself becoming more and more aware of the fact we are just closing ourselves off and restricting our chance of making new acquaintances.

They can't all be bad. Just because I was compromised once, letting friendship over power my better judgment doesn't mean it will happen again. What was it Georgie was always saying? Something about broadening our horizons and expanding our social circle? There weren't many people in our circle who I could even detest long enough for a conversation let alone find something in common with and actually get to the point where I _enjoy_ their conversation. Charlie seemed to think the father; a retired Doctor, was a good man. He had met him at the club and they had bonded over old English architecture. He had been the one who had recommended Charlie sink everything he owned into restoring the wreck of a property in Hertfordshire. It was near the doctors own house and so they had become fast friends. It wasn't up to me who Charlie was friends with. His social circle was different to mine again. I couldn't afford myself that luxury. I had to always be one step ahead thinking constantly what the friendship could do to decrease my social standing or in rare cases; increase it. I had too much riding on my career to think about a personal life. Georgie's too, she was my responsibility she might think she's grown up now she's eighteen but that little episode three years ago was enough to remind me how precious she was to me and how I wasn't ready to let her go just yet.

I chance another glance at the happy party talking in front of me. A pretty girl with blonde hair is making her way over to them. I recall she's the one Charlie had been so anxious to meet since the minute we got to this godforsaken event. It was a complete waste of my time being here. We would never find a suitable candidate to be the next big thing at Rosings. I still can't believe I let Charles talk me into this. Thank god for Caroline's company or I may not have stood it all. The country folk were not the type of people I was used to being around. It was all a bit too laid back and friendly for me. Still even the country had its _qualities_. Miss Elizabeth Bennet catches my eye again and I'm forced to look elsewhere rather than being caught looking at her. As the blond got nearer to Charlie he began to blush almost as red as his hair. He _really_ likes this girl. I could see the attraction; she was by far the most beautiful woman in the room, if you were to do a comparison. I ease away from Caroline and close enough to hear their conversation without making them aware of the fact.

Miss Bennet is smiling at Charlie and links her arm through the other woman's, pulling her in front of him. "Charlie. Well _Charlie_ allow me to introduce my big sister Jane."

Jane offers her hand immediately to Charlie smiling serenely. "Charlie?"

"Bingley. Charles Bingley. _Charlie_. So pleased to meet you Miss Bennet." He was still holding her hand and now she was staring at him too. They seemed locked in some sort of trance. Miss Elizabeth Bennet opens her mouth to say something when her father returns and pulls her away.

I ignore Charlie for a moment and find my attention drawn to the brunette who is questioning her fathers' motives. "I don't think we're needed here Liz, but for heavens' sake keep your mother away from them. Give them a chance at least." He laughed.

"A chance?" She asks puzzled.

He just smiled, winked and weaved his way back into the crowd. Shockingly coming to a stop in front of the loud mouthed woman of earlier, kissing her on the cheek and then engaging her in conversation whilst shielding her from Jane and Charles. So she was the mother. The doctor's wife. Mother of Elizabeth Bennet. I chuckled to myself, yes I had a very lucky escape there. More fool me for thinking I could be interested in someone _normal_. Elizabeth looked back at Charlie and her sister warmly. She stands motionless just staring and softly a smile creeps on to her face. Her full lips turning upwards and her eyes sparkle. She's pleased. Pleased that her sister had found someone to settle down with. Pleased that her mothers' intentions have come to fruition and she has found wealthy husband for her daughter to hang off the arm of. Jane was a beauty there was no denying it. But did she really care for Charles? I examined them again. His attraction to her was plain for all to see. The way his eyes followed her around the room and made excuses to touch her or involve her in the conversation. Her, it was too difficult to tell, and that alone was not a good sign. Surely if someone was feeling the same they would show it. They may have only just met, but the way Charles was laying his heart out on the line for her, I worried she was about to trample all over it rather than offer her own in return. Elizabeth smiled again, chuckled to herself and skipped off towards her friend Charlotte.

This only cemented the suspicions I had had since I overheard their loose mouthed mother commenting on how she wanted her daughters to settle down soon with husbands that could provide for them. She was out for the money and saw only pound signs where Charles was concerned. Someone laughed and I turned to find the source. Elizabeth Bennet was laughing at something her friend had said. Her face showed nothing but admiration for her friend.

Charlotte Lucas was the young woman I had been introduced to earlier. Her parents were apparently important figures in the community and well thought of. She seemed a little shy and very naive about life and the world in general, however surprisingly, she had finished in the top third of her class. She had no ambition. She certainly wasn't the right material for Rosings. Caroline had agreed. Charlotte was older than both the Miss Bennet's. Yet she seemed to blend in well with them. I watched on as Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Lucas chatted animatedly for a while. Before long I felt myself drawn to her once more and found an excuse to get nearer to them and listen in again on their conversation, a bad habit I seemed to have picked up today and had no intention of dropping anytime soon. They were chatting about the ceremony and various University topics before Elizabeth turned unexpectedly and caught me looking at them. I looked away grieved to have been caught in such an embarrassing position. Hopefully she wouldn't have noticed that I was listening. She narrowed her eyes at me, I was backing away when Charlotte began to laugh. "Oh Lizzie, your face! What has Mr Darcy ever done to you?"

"Mr who?" She asks. So she wasn't aware who I was yet, that was one thing.

"Mr Darcy. He is a senior partner at Rosings Park, I thought you of all people would know who he is, in forty-eight hours he will be your boss."

I paused in my escape trying to digest this piece of information. Miss Elizabeth Bennet was coming to work at Rosings, she would be working for me. That could pose a problem. If I was having unwelcomed thoughts for her now, having only just laid eyes on her, what would happen if I were to see her every day? No this wasn't good, not good at all. This had to stop before it began. I wouldn't give her any reason to think I was anything but her employer. I wouldn't have her mother setting us up like she had so adamantly planned with Charlie and her eldest daughter.

"One of them." She corrected her. "Mr Darcy eh? I've _googled_ him. Lady Catherine, the one whose husband started the firm, he's her nephew. As you say - a senior partner, along with his cousin Richard Fitzwilliam. I know all about him, but there was no picture. He could be good looking I suppose, if he was to smile occasionally. How do you know who he is? Why is he here?"

"I was introduced earlier, it was part of my 'Top Three' duties." Charlotte air quotes Top Three rolling her eyes, as if trying to complain. "He's here to scope out any potential wonders for the firm."

"Oh? Who's the red head, his wife?" she enquires. I stop myself from laughing out loud. Caz my wife! There had been assumptions made in the past. We were friends and nothing more, I thought of her more like a sister than anything else. She was Charles' sister and my close friend that was all. For some reason it pained me that Elizabeth may be thinking anything to the contrary. I had no way of setting her straight without revealing the fact I had been privy to such a private conversation between two friends. Luckily for me Charlotte Lucas was knowledgeable enough to correct her on this matter.

"No but I'm guessing she'd like to be." Charlotte chuckled. Elizabeth looked … what was that … could it be? … _Relieved_. "No, she's Caroline Bingley, her brother's around here somewhere, they're junior partners in the firm. They're here for moral support and because Charles, that's the brother, has decide to invest in some property around here."

"Charlie, yeah I've met him. He seems nice, completely besotted with Jane from the second he saw her of course, but seems genuinely nice. Wait, property around here? What can he possibly be interested in around here? There's nothing for sale, except…"

"Netherfield!" The say it simultaneously and begin giggling like school girls. I should find it irritating but I don't. I move closer wanting to hear the pleasant sound again. "Jinx!" Says Charlotte, "now you can't say a word until someone says your name!"

Feeling like I had already eves dropped on enough their private conversation I made my presence known. "Miss Bennet?"

She hesitates for a minute before swivelling around to face me. The first thing that hits me is she is a lot prettier up close than I gave her credit for. If I was to compare the two, I would say she was just as attractive as her sister, if not more so. It was in a more wholesome way. She looked natural and … _beautiful_ , actually. Her eyes were particularly magnetic. Maybe my first impressions were made a little too hastily. She stares at me too without speaking. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet?" I repeat.

She nods before finally finding her voice and answering with a meek "yeah."

"Nicholas Darcy." I nod briskly. I could offer my hand but in all honesty the thoughts of her touching me, of my feeling her skin against mine is all too much right now. She affected me in a way I wasn't accustomed to. Not in a formal setting like this. _Not with an audience_. "I hear you're coming to work for us at Rosings?" I fiddle with my tie desperate for something to do with my hands.

"Mr Darcy. Pleased to meet you. Yes, I …" She hesitates swallowing and blushing ever so slightly before shaking her head and straightening her shoulders. With more resolve she continues. "I begin at Rosings on Monday. I'm looking forward to the opportunity very much. I hope I can prove myself."

I can't think of one intelligent thing to say. She has rendered me speechless with just her proximity, so I remain silent and nodding again move away. I walk quickly but not so soon that I don't hear her parting words. "Well that was rude! Who the hell does he think he is?" I turn a corner out of sight and look back only when I think it's safe. Charlotte was laughing again at something she had said. I swore under my breath. Why had my confidence abandoned me? I had spoken to women before, better-looking than her, richer than her. And yet with her I was left to appear a simpleton. Of all the first impressions I had planned in my mind, this was by far the most terrible. Monday morning was not far enough away. I would need time for this settle and for her to forget our meeting and begin to respect me once again. She would be working for me. At Rosings I would be able to convince her of my strength and not display so many weaknesses. The sooner we were out of Hertfordshire the better. I seek out Caroline and find her knocking back another glass of warm cheap champagne. It was barely lunchtime, she needed to watch herself. Although one could forgive her today, I felt like a stiff drink myself. I couldn't help but notice Elizabeth as she flittered around the marquee, chasing after what could only be her relations. They all shared certain _attributes_ that would no doubt make them popular with any male crowd. The sisters I noticed were blonde like Jane and the Mrs Bennet. Only Elizabeth seemed to have inherited her father's dark hair and eyes. His was streaked with grey but it was obvious whom she took after.

Despite her pleasing appearance it was paramount I dismiss her from my mind and act indifferently around her. It would not do to encourage affection from her when I know nothing can become of it. I had already spent too much time thinking about her. She didn't know me, I didn't know her we were barely more than strangers and I didn't do well with strangers. Her gregarious character meant she was often the centre of everyone's attention whether she was aware of it or not, and that was another thing I was not a fan of. Particularly around those I wasn't acquainted with previously. I watched as many of the men at the party turned to get a better look at her. She was the kind of under stated beauty that could easily be ignored when compared with the elder sister, but who on second glance, was every bit as vivacious and confident as her sisters, and at the same time guarded. I felt that on occasions when she was surrounded by her mother and sisters she probably had to take a more sensible route and become the responsible one.

She was putting on an act to please others, a trait we had in common.

As I rounded up my own party I failed to restrict my glances and found my eyes wandering to whatever part of the room she frequented over and over. Finally I found Charles. Regrettably with Mr Bennet. The crowd's part revealing not only Jane and Mrs Bennet, but Elizabeth also. I halted instantly and begin trawling through my phone for want of a more convincing excuse for delaying my arrival. It doesn't go unnoticed by Mrs Bennet who makes some comment about peoples manners and how Charles is so polite compared to others, pointedly looking my way. Elizabeth glares at her mother and whispers something about me being able to hear. I pretend I haven't and continue consulting my phone.

Mr Bennet was talking to Charles. "Mr Bingley, are you free Sunday at all? We're having a bit of a get-together, a goodbye party for my Lizzie here and I wondered if you and your sister would like to join us. Nothing special you understand, but there will be plenty of food and the drinks will be flowing." He smiles at Charlie who in turn smiles at Jane. Mrs Bennet appears to be restrained by her husband. Say no Charlie please. Don't get involved with these people. I can find you plenty of attractive women to meet, not this family.

I could tell by Charlies widening grin he had no intention of missing another opportunity to spend time with Jane. "Yes please Mr Bennet, my sister Caroline and I would be delighted to join you, it will give me a chance to look at the house again and bounce some ideas of you all."

My heart sank.

There was no way Charles would go with just his sister knowing how harsh she can be. He would want me to accompany them. I shudder at the thoughts of spending more of my time with this family in some god forsaken place called Meryton. Something black swishing through the air catches my eye and I turn to face it. Elizabeth Bennet is removing her graduation gown. Under is simple fitted dress, it skins and hugs her curves perfectly, she huffs and slides her feet back into her heels toppling slightly before she rights herself. She smooths down the dress and it only clings to her more. I shouldn't be noticing her like this, I had told myself not to notice her at all; she was of no consequence to me. Insignificant. Not for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Lizzie**

We were back at home. Fancy clothes and hair, had made way for ponytails and pjs. I looked over at Jane in her bed. We had shared a room since Kitty came along and even now at the age we were, I still enjoyed it. It was nice having someone to talk to late at night. I was going to miss Jane so much when I moved away. I glanced around at the boxes already packed and suddenly felt very home sick and I hadn't even left yet. I had relayed my dislike of _'Green Eyes'_ to Jane as soon as we were alone. She was not of the same opinion. "Oh Lizzie! Stop! She was not giving you daggers. She's a nice woman, Charlie introduced us and she seemed genuinely nice."

I snorted. "Whatever" I continued. My sister Jane was not the most ideal person to discuss first impressions with, as rarely did she meet someone she didn't like. I heaved a sigh and pulled the covers over my legs relishing in the feeling of my own bed something else I would be leaving behind tomorrow. "I don't like her, or Mr Darcy. Which is most unfortunate since I'm bound to be working with one, if not both, of them come Monday. At least I don't have to worry about it for another couple of days. I rolled over and turned off the bedroom light.

"Lizzie?" Jane breathes into the darkness.

"What?" I yawn, almost asleep.

"Charlie asked dad if he could bring Mr Darcy along to the barbeque, and dad said yes." She rushes out in one long breath.

Silence.

I bolted up right in bed. Seriously? I let myself fall back down onto my mattress pulled the cover over my head and screamed my frustration into my pillow. Great, so the day after tomorrow I would be spending the day keeping my flirtatious mother away from my new boss. What a way to spend my last day at home. I lay awake for ages thinking about the tall dark and handsome stranger I had met today. I doubted he even remembered meeting me let alone my name. He was obviously of the opinion he was better than everyone who had been at the ceremony today. I didn't need someone with that level of self-importance in my life.

 _He was my boss._

He was my boss. I had been lusting after my boss. Had, being the important word here. I no longer harboured any attraction for him, no matter how attractive he was. The fleeting moment of weakness had passed and now I could only think of the aforementioned tall dark and handsome stranger as the thing that could scupper any chance of happiness between Jane and our Mr Bingley. He looked the sort that would chew you up and spit you out as soon as look at you. He had one night stand written all over his face, so proud and conceited it streamed out of him just the way he stood and gazed after the couple as they talked. Like he knew he could take her away from Charlie. Like he wanted to play with them, and my sister was worth a whole lot more than that. A whole lot more than Mr Darcy. Even if he was impossibly good looking and incredibly sexy. I punched the pillow in anger wishing it was his miserable face. I told myself it was just the clothes. Anyone would look that good in those designer labels. He was rich, Very rich. He most likely had a personal trainer to help him stay in shape. I expect he had a ripped body beneath that impeccably put together exterior. I shook my head clearing it.

 _He was my boss_.

"Mum claims to have heard he is very, very wealthy." She whispers into the darkness.

"Mr Darcy? I'm sure he is, his family own the firm. Why should that be of any consequence to us?"

I hear her turn over in her bed and I imagine her moving to face me. "I think he liked you. I noticed him looking at you more than once."

"Oh Jane! He was looking at you, _obviously,_ how could any man notice me when you are in the room? Remember you're the pretty one." I tease.

"What does that make you, the clever one?"

I pause thinking on it. Jane was just as clever as me, as was Mary. If I wasn't pretty nor particularly clever what was I? "Impertinent. Would be more accurate." I admit.

"Lizzy." A pillow lands on my bed and she chuckles. I throw it back. "You won't be too hard on Caroline and Mr Darcy tomorrow will you?"

"No not at all. Another thing, I don't see why we should all have to address him as Mr Darcy. It's so formal."

"To tell the truth I don't think I could be persuaded to call him anything _but_ Mr Darcy. He is far too superior and fearsome to allow me to think we could ever be more than passing acquaintances."

"You say this and yet you are the one who a moment ago was telling me you suspect he liked me."

"I know. I still do. I said _I_ should never be able to talk to him, not you. You have much more bravery than me. You would probably call him on his weaknesses and even laugh at him. Something I could never do." She sighs and I think she's going to go to sleep but she breaks the silence again. "He's very …" she trails off.

"Very?" In my head a train of remarks present themselves; ignorant, spoilt, snobby, over bearing, pretentious.

"Tall." She answers simply.

"Tall? That's all you have to say."

"Well how would you describe him?" I open my mouth to answer when she laughs. "In fact no don't tell me. I'm sure by now you already have a whole heap of witty sarcastic comments just waiting to be thrown my way. Save them for dad, he gets your humour much more than the rest of us."

I punch my pillow shaping it more comfortably. "Enough about Mr Drab and Dreary, what about your Mr Bingley?"

"Charlie is not _my_ Mr Bingley."

" _Not yet_ but I suspect he soon will be." I smiled to myself and realised I hadn't actually asked my sister what she thought of him. "Do you like him?"

"I do Lizzy. He's sweet and funny and handsome and everything a man should be don't you think?"

"And owning a large estate like Netherfield had nothing to do with it?"

"Lizzy! You know very well that doesn't interest me. I wish to marry for love. Money is of no matter to me."

"But still, it would be nice to have both would it not?" I joke.

"Like you could settle. You would never be tempted by money alone. You would always go for love. I know you Lizzy, you might not have believed in fairy tales and waiting for handsome princes to come and carry us off like the rest of us, but you always remained steadfast in your prospects for the future."

I think back how difficult it had been in my past to find someone. Even when I had met someone whose company I enjoyed, we soon ran out of things to talk about. I had known men who would pander to me and agree with every with thought I had, without having an opinion of their own, men who wanted to force their own opinion on me and those that I just had no respect for whatsoever. All of which I could never be happy with above a couple of weeks. My most important relationship so far lasted six months and the past two we barely saw each other. There had never been anyone special. I was still young and had no intention of settling down anytime yet, but it would be nice to have someone want to be with me. The real me; not the one I was supposed to be as to not frighten prospective partners away like my mother was always reminding me. I had a stubborn streak and impetuous nature, it would take a strong willed man to understand my personality and even stronger to be able to live with it. I couldn't believe such a man existed, "I'm only twenty one Jane, I can't even imagine getting that far. Right now I would be happy to meet someone who I like to spend time with and do just that." I lied. "Like you and Mr Bingley, there can't be anything serious there yet, you've only just met, but who knows a few months down the line we might be having an entirely different conversation." I snuggled down to finally go to sleep. "Just for the record, when at some point, _'Green'_ I mean _Caroline_ and Mr Darcy show their true colours to you, _I told you so_."

Saturday came and went in a blur of packing, cleaning, shopping and all things barbeque related. I noticed Jane was spending her time picking out what to wear when I walked into our room Sunday morning. She was choosing when I had gone down for breakfast, she was still choosing when I got back. I had just been for a lovely hot shower - a pure luxury in a house of six women - I loved Sundays for that reason alone. The others had their lay-in Sunday, so if I got up early I could have the first scolding hot shower of the day.

I loved Sunday mornings.

"Jane, what gives? Why are you taking so long deciding what to wear to a family barbeque in our garden, with our own family?" I smirked. I knew exactly why she was taking so long to choose an outfit. I had the sinking feeling I should be spending more time and effort selecting my clothes. It soon passed. I spent the next twenty minutes repeatedly telling Jane how beautiful she looked in every outfit she tried on, not because I had to, but because in truth, she did look outstanding in every single thing she threw on. She settled in the end on a white linen skirt and pale blue sleeveless shirt, it matched her eyes. She looked like a goddess.

Knowing I only had a few minutes before my services would be required downstairs I rummaged around in our shared wardrobe until I found what I was looking for. My trusty denim skirt and white fitted shirt. I pulled on my white flip flops and glanced in the mirror as I pulled my hair into pig tales on either side. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. If someone was going to fall for you surely it was better for them to do so when you are not all dressed up and caked in make up? At least with me you could see what you were getting from the get go. I shrugged at myself and went downstairs.

Mum was flapping around the kitchen shouting orders out left right and centre while my dad was laid in a deck chair next to the barbeque -apparently supervising. Jane and I went out to set the table. Mum following us, re-setting it in our wake. As the doorbell rang, mum caught a glance at my pig tales and practically hyperventilated. "Elizabeth! What are you trying to do to me? Take them out immediately. You are not seven!"

I found myself blushing beneath my mums stare and immediately pulled the ties free, my hair fell in curls created by tying it up while it was still damp. I didn't have a mirror so I had no idea how ridiculous I looked. From the smirk on Caroline Bingley's face as she walked into our back garden, I can imagine, quite a lot. Charlie followed her in and immediately sort out Jane, before greeting me and introducing himself to a giddy Kitty and Lydia. Mary was laid under a tree at the bottom of the garden, _ipod_ in ears, seemingly oblivious to anyone, let alone our guests. I left her to it, who knows how many precious seconds she had until...

"Mary! Get over here child and meet our new neighbour!"

Sorry Em, you should have stayed out of sight; that was your first mistake. The second was thinking you can hide from our mother. No one can, I swear it's like she's the female equivalent of _Liam Neesom_ or something!

I could sense eyes on the back of my head, the hairs on my neck began to stand up. I cautiously looked over my shoulder and stopped dead in my tracks. There were the big broad shoulders. He was wearing another suit and tie. He looked so good in them I wondered if he wore them to any and every event. This was a family barbeque ad he looked like he had just stepped out of an important business meeting. His gorgeous big brown eyes fleeted around the garden, for a second they locked with mine and seem to soften just for a moment before they landed on Charlie and Jane and immediately hardened. My defences automatically peaked. What was he scowling at? It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, how could anyone not find it endearing and romantic? Maybe he wanted Jane, maybe this was jealousy I was witnessing. I didn't get the chance to second guess, as ' _Green Eyes'_ wound her manicured nails around him and pulled him away.

The day seemed to pan out pretty well, Jane kept Charlie entertained - all day. Kitty and Lydia eventually calmed down. Even my mother was behaving herself. Everyone was, except for my arsehole boss Mr Darcy. He had barely uttered three words the whole day. Except when it was in Miss Bingley's ear. I did feel like saying at one point 'you know it's rude to whisper' but my mother would never have forgiven me. We had had it drilled in to us the night before, this was Jane's day, Jane's chance. I wasn't going to ruin that for her, no matter how much I wanted to put that pompous so-and-so in his place. And _her._ Don't get me started on her! She refused to eat anything that was put in front of her, complained about the choice, or lack thereof. I hate her so much I could scream.

Finally. _Finally_ , it was time for them to go home. I was leaving later that evening to go to my new flat with my bare essentials. My mum and dad would be bringing the rest down next weekend. I went round the back of the garage to see if I could find anymore boxes while everyone was round the front bowing down to our new neighbours and saying their goodbyes.

That's when I heard them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Mr Darcy**

The day had been an utter disaster.

I had come here today with a fresh outlook ready to accept the Bennet's for who they were and try to find some way of getting along with them for my friends sake. How disappointed he will be. Despite my best efforts, I could find nothing in their family to be envious of. There was no decorum throughout, each daughter was as bad as the other and with a mother like that to learn from who could expect anything different. Even the father whose 'anything for a quiet life' attitude had meant they had gone unchecked for so long, could not be excluded from the bad example they had set out today.

All but her.

Damn she was getting to me. She had a way of getting under your skin and staying there.

The denim skirt she wore hugged her tiny waist where as her loose fitting shirt hid her ample assets well. Her chestnut locks blew wildly around her face failing to catch up with her head as it constantly turned one way and then the other, chasing the conversations around her. Brightly coloured toes were displayed by her choice in footwear. She was the epitome of a natural beauty. She hadn't wasted hours in front of the mirror, her face was void of make-up and her clothes looked like they had been chosen more for ease and comfort than by fashion and design. She was … _not to be thought of in this way._

I chastised myself and looked away. The sooner I could be away from these … _distractions_ the better.

It was very well she was so far displaced from my social circle as to warrant any sort of danger. No matter how attractive she may be, she was not for me. She was an employee. There _couldn't_ be a future for us so I didn't have to worry about it.

"I believe I can guess you thoughts at this moment." Caroline's voice purrs in my ear as she sidles upside of me. Her closeness verging on inappropriate.

"I doubt it."

Caroline's expensive perfume clouds my mind as she remains at my side, as always. I manage to forget Elizabeth long enough to observe my friend and what had caught her eye. She watched Charlie following Jane around the lawn like some sort of puppy and huffed in frustration before turning on her heel and heading in the opposite direction. Keen to have a reason to not look at Elizabeth, I followed. All the while being wary of Caroline's real intentions to get me alone. We stood behind Mr Bennet's garage out of sight from the rest of the guests and our hosts. Caroline kicked at a few discarded plant pots and perched on a pile of paving slabs.

She looks around her anxiously and then exhales loudly. "Oh my God, Charles cannot be serious! I don't care how gorgeous little miss dream boat is, she's related to that rabble and over my dead body will I be!" the exasperation present in her voice. It was as if she had been waiting to say that all day and now we were alone and out of ear shot of anyone, she could finally purge herself of her thoughts.

I chuckled, I knew Caroline would be of the same opinion as me of our new friends.

"I don't know what he's playing at. Involving himself with these ... People. I mean have you seen the mother for God's sake? The father's no better. He lets it happen around him without a care for what they look like or what reputations they are creating." She picked at her dress, I let my eyes sweep over her appearance unnoticed. She was a beautiful woman. There was no doubt. In stark contrast to Elizabeth, she was never anything but immaculately attired, her makeup and hair were always flawless and I was sure if I paid enough attention, I would realise she never wore the same thing twice. She was as sharp in the courtroom as in her choice of suits and had had the same education as me. The Bingley's had money behind them, although not as great as myself, they were not in need of careers and therefore I respected Caroline for still wanting one. She could have been happy in just shopping all day and spa treatments, but instead she studied and became one of the best legal minds we had at Rosings.

I knew there members of our joint acquaintance who would like nothing more than for us to be more than friends, Caroline herself most of all, but I couldn't see past the idea of her being more than a sister. We flirted, but that was as far as it went, she was aware of the fact. In the courtroom she could debate and argue her case quite eloquently, when we talked she became insipid and placid, someone who simply agreed with everything I said. I couldn't have that in a relationship. I needed someone who would argue back and most of all someone I could respect in all aspects. Although Caroline had that in bounds when it came to the office, outside of it was a different matter.

"They're the type of family you see on these god awful talk shows where the mother advises them all to sleep with a football player and video it so they can blackmail him later, or worse, get herself pregnant so then they're set for life."

I looked back over at the bottom of the garden where Jane and Charlie had spent most of the day, she was quiet, a lot quieter than her sisters. It had been increasingly hard to judge her intentions. If Caroline was to believed, all Jane cared about was tying Charles down. I still wasn't completely sure. It was obvious to all that it was her mother's wish for her to be with Charlie but I still couldn't help but think her heart just wasn't in it. That didn't mean he was safe from her.

"And that second one … Bennet bimbo number two. What's her name? Eliza?"

"Lizzie." I correct her automatically, regretting it instantly. Luckily for me Caroline is already talking over me.

She shakes her head. "Whatever, just looking at the assemble she had on today I couldn't possibly guess why she's still single." She says sarcastically. "I had heard from Charles that some of the locals around here consider her a famous natural beauty. Can you believe that?"

I laughed dryly. "I do not, it seems as probable as getting an intelligent word out of Mrs Bennet."

Caroline laughed. "And people say I'm the cruel one."

I smile to hide my distaste, instantly regretting what I had implied. I open my mouth to take back my words and inform Caroline that's yes, on closer inspection I could easily see what so many had done before me. Elizabeth was stunning. I think better of it and shut my mouth once more. What was the point? It would only give Caroline more reason to hate Elizabeth and no doubt she would increase her infatuation with me even more. We sit silently for a few minutes before the quiet is broken by Charles. "Nick? Caz? Where are you?" Charlie walks around the side of the house, frowning when he finds us. "There you are. What are you both doing skulking around here? You are neglecting our hosts." He looks up at the sun and claps his hands together. "What a splendid day it has been."

Neither of us comment.

"Have you ever seen such a beautiful woman as Jane? She is good and kind and intelligent and everything any one could wish."

"Be careful Charles. You sound a little too smitten there. Remember you only met her yesterday." I warn.

"Is that all it has been, one day?" Charlie gazes out into space a vacant look on his face. Caroline rolls her eyes. Charlie catches her and turns to address me. "What about you Nick, have you not seen anyone who has taken your fancy?"

I snort. "I doubt there is anyone in the whole of Meryton who would be suitable for Rosings." Elizabeth is already meant for Rosings so she is excluded from this observation.

"I meant socially." He interrupts. Caroline pulls a face. "Look around there is an abundance of pretty ladies here today I'm sure there is one you could be persuaded to at least talk to. Jane's sister Lizzie seems very nice. I have it on good authority she's single." He bounces back and forth on his heels smiling like he had just done me the world's biggest favour. Throwing her into my life further would only complicate an already highly complicated situation. She was going to be working for me, therefore I could not even think of her in _that_ way.

The trouble was no matter how many times I repeated it, something inside me had a returning argument in her defence.

I grunted. "I have no doubt." Although the more I thought about it I couldn't understand why she was single. You would have thought someone at her University would have noticed her. Maybe she had and she just hadn't told anyone about him. If I was her, and I had that family, I wouldn't want to share my private life with them either. It was Charlie's turn to pull a face. I heaved a sigh before admitting the obvious. "I can see a certain attraction, but it's not enough to tempt me, she's barely tolerable." I lie. Caroline sniggered as I continued. "You seem to have bagged the only beauty amongst them. I find the sister second best and I don't settle for second best. No, she will be of no consequence to me." I shrug trying to remain nonchalant and simultaneously hiding the disgust in myself. What was I saying?

I was lying to them and myself.

There was a rustle in the bushes beside me and I turned towards the noise poised to investigate when Caroline's phone beeped. She looked at the screen and swore.

"What's the matter Caroline?"

She looks up at me scowling before answering. "Nothing it's just Louisa. Letting me know she's back from honeymoon and ready to show me the photographs."

"How is the newly Mrs Hurst?" I ask, not interested in the slightest. Louisa Bingley, now Hurst had been nothing but Caroline's shadow as long as I knew her, with no opinion of her own or abilities to even hold a conversation without Caroline's constant presence. In all honesty I had been amazed she had manged to meet and marry any one at all. In fact she had landed herself a wealthy business tycoon who worked in investments spending most of his time at some club or the other, or on the golf course making deals. I couldn't understand what attraction he had seen in her or she in him, but who was I to judge?

"She's as loved up as ever. She doesn't see what a miscreant she married." Caz sneers. "She will."

"Oh Caroline," Charlie hisses. "Hurst is fine enough. Just because the man likes a drink or two and enjoys his sport doesn't make him a miscreant." He looked at me for support but he was on his own with this one. I couldn't stand Hurst and made sure to be aware whenever they were due a visit at Charlie's to ensure I wasn't present. "More importantly Louisa loves him and that's what it is all about right?" Charlie answers Caroline while glaring at me.

We both look at him in disbelief. If only it was that simple. In our world it never was.

For my part there were obligations and responsibilities. We might be in the twenty-first century but old traditions and expectations still wore on. It had been easier when I was younger. I had enjoyed a few years when I was at University and my father was still alive. I wasn't caring for Georgiana, so I didn't have to worry about staying out all night or enjoying the company of a nice girl I had met. My father had encouraged me to sow my wild oats then. He already knew that once I left law school my partying days -as few as they were- would be well and truly over. The nephew of the great Lady Catherine could not be seen as a playboy. Subsequently all my previous relationships had been short, most over in a few days. I had never introduced any of them to my family, I didn't even let them see Pemberley until I truly believed it was really me and not my wealth they wanted.

Consequently I had never shown _anyone_ Pemberley.

The last few years had passed me by so fast, the past three in particular, my sole purpose was the care of Georgiana and making Rosings a success, I had forgone a love life altogether. I was still only twenty eight and had years in which to worry about that later. Right now I had more important things in my life. I knew it would have to be addressed at some point. The Darcy name had to continue. If I didn't have children, it would be up to Georgiana and after everything that happened she didn't need that kind of pressure.

As was my normal fall back in these moments of self-doubt I looked to Caroline. I knew if there was ever a worst case scenario she would be willing to help me out, quite willing, but I couldn't use her like that. For Caroline I expect she fully intended settling down – _if ever_ \- only with someone who had something that could enhance her already perfect life and because of that, it would take her a long time to find it.

I casually looked at my watch and told myself we had escaped long enough as much as I didn't condone the way the Bennet's conducted themselves socially, it was plain bad manners to have been this long away from the party. I looked at Charlie who was also bursting to be back. Caroline was still mumbling to herself about what a terrible day it had been and how she hated the countryside, except for Derbyshire of course, she would rather be back in London. I gently coerced her into standing and returning to bid our hosts thanks and farewell.

Caroline's heels clack on the drive as we move away. "Come on let's get out of this hell hole and back to the real world. Our world and our people." She mumbles.

Had I had been paying more attention, I would have seen her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you to everyone for the feedback. I pretty much have each chapter already written. I'm just tweaking a few here and there, so hopefully I will be posting quite regularly. Please keep the feedback coming, good or bad it's all helpful! So far I've tried to stay on the same story line as the book, however you will notice I veer off over the next few chapters, but stay with me!**_

 **Chapter Five: Lizzie**

I let out a breath I'd been holding the whole time. What a pair of stuck up snobs. There was no way I was giving up this job, this opportunity my dad had sought for me, so there was nothing for it but to pretend I hadn't heard what I just did. For now at least. Monday morning came all too soon. As I sat nervously fidgeting in the luxurious reception of Rosings Park I looked over my surroundings. How am I going to pull this off? I was distracted from my anxiety by a friendly, and somewhat sexy, grin being thrown my way. The man, nodded at me and then went into the lift. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad working here after all. The idea soon disappeared, when, in walked -no, _strutted_ \- Caroline Bingley, looking like she owned the place.

"Eliza, if you would follow me, and try to keep up. I have a busy morning."

I jumped to my feet, rushing to keep up. "Lizzie."

"Excuse me?" She looked at me as if daring me to speak again, so I did, I'm not afraid of her.

"Lizzie. Or Elizabeth. Anything _but_ Eliza." I corrected.

She didn't even acknowledge me. She quickly showed me around, not properly, of course, not introducing me to anyone, just a quick flick of her wrist in the general direction of things. "Photocopier, break room, ladies, partner's offices, your desk."

I notice the man from reception walk past, he looks at me curiously as if trying to work out why I'm here, then smiles in my direction. I smile back, trying not to blush. At that moment Mr Darcy came bounding through the open plan office demanding everyone's attention without saying a word. God I hate that man, he frustrates the hell out of me. So up himself, so proud and full of arrogance. He glances in my direction and for a second I actually think he's going to lower himself to talk to me, then he looks across at reception guy and back at me, shakes his head once as if dismissing something and carried on his way. For some reason I feel deflated. Like I was ready for a fight that never came, and really I was. The rest of the day passed quite uneventfully. Despite Miss Bingley increased efforts to the contrary, I managed to clear all my work load and make friends with some of my new colleagues, including reception guy, who's actual name was George Wickham.

So it continued for the next few weeks. I settled in, I did my job, I occasionally met George Wickham for lunch, all the time staying far away from the mysterious Mr Darcy. I made it my sole purpose in life to do a good job and try not to give ' _Green Eyes'_ any excuse to vent that wrath out on me.

Today it seemed I was failing. Miserably. Nothing I did was right. Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, photocopying the wrong documents, sending emails to the incorrect recipient. Everything I did was wrong. So I am ashamed to say I did a very, very bad thing. I crept into stationary cupboard, shut the door, and cried. Not just quite lady like tears, but huge chest heaving sobs. Tears were running uncontrollably down my face. I don't think I could stop them if I wanted to. It was like everything over the past few weeks came crashing down on me. My graduation, leaving school, Charlotte, Jane, mum and dad, Kitty and Mary. I even missed Lydia. Now I was here in this horrible little flat, in this horrible job with that horrible woman. My nose was starting to run, I took a long sniff and tried to pull myself together. 'Come on Elizabeth! What are you doing letting ' _Green Eyes'_ get to you? You can do this!' I looked up at the ceiling. God I sounded like my mother. I was pulled out of my misery and turmoil by the stationary cupboard door suddenly opening. The light soaring in, onto my - no doubt - tear streaked panda eyes. Stood in the doorway, looking at me without expression, was Mr Darcy.

I jumped off the wall and tried to straighten myself up. I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my hand, apologising profusely. He did nothing, just stood rooted to the spot taking me in, in all my emotional glory. He reached out and handed me a tissue. "Thanks." I croaked. Then he turned and left, shutting the door behind him. What the hell? …What just happened? This guy was so weird, and yet… He was trying to be… nice? I just couldn't figure him out. He was obviously concerned for me, hence the tissue, but then he just walked away without even asking what it was all about?

My cry seemed to do the trick, I felt much better after that, and the afternoon went by mistake free. ' _Green Eyes'_ left me alone and I was able to actually get some work done. I was just starting to feel good and was even looking forward to getting home to my lovely little flat, when my phone beeped. It was a text from dad. _'Lizzie please ring your mother.'_ I chuckled to myself. Mum refused to text. Saying that it ruined the art of conversation. So this was a normal occurrence in our home. Mum would spout that she need to talk to one of us, dad would text, we would ring, all problems solved.

She answered on the first ring. "Lizzie! I need you to do something for Jane please. Go home now, get some clothes, not your normal stuff dear, something decent that Jane can actually wear, and take it round to Mr Bingley's apartment."

"Mum I'm at work I can't just get up and leave … wait a minute, say that again. Why does Jane need my clothes and why do I have to take them Charlie Bingley's apartment? I don't even know where that is. Mum what's going on? Start at the beginning."

"Oh really. I don't know. You call yourselves sisters, don't you two talk? Jane has being seeing Charles for a few weeks now. She was at his place for dinner last night when she fell ill, something she ate or something. Her clothes are ruined, she's staying with Charles until she is well again and she needs a change of clothes and something to sleep in, toothbrush, you know. Go and see his darling sister Caroline, she'll give you the address." She orders.

'Darling sister?' _Yeah right_.

I hang up on mum, and sit a minute trying to process the information I just received. Jane's been seeing Charlie. For a few weeks! _She didn't tell me_. She was in town having dinner with him and she didn't say anything. I looked at the clock, almost lunchtime. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if I just nipped home, I could get the stuff and take it over. Surely they wouldn't mind? Charlie was a partner after all. Taking a deep breath I walked along the corridor of the open office to the closed offices that lined the front of the building. I knocked on Caroline's door and pushed my shoulders back. "Come in." A voice demanded. I pushed the door open.

"Caroline, _Miss_ _Bingley_ I wonder…" My words stick in my throat, perched on the edge of her desk, is Mr Darcy. His eyes are on the paperwork on her desk, not on me, I don't think he's even noticed I'm here. "... Sorry am I interrupting?"

"No not all Eliza, how may I help?" Her false eyelashes batted against her cheeks as she smiled sweetly at me. Too sweetly. I was temporary floored, she was being _nice_ to me. Despite this was obviously only owing to the fact a senior partner was present, I decided to use it to my advantage. Mr Darcy still hadn't looked at me, instead he was shaking his head, -and dare I say it- smirking.

"Yes, that is, I wonder, if I could take a slightly extended lunch. Please? You see my sister Jane is at Charlies, I mean Mr Bingley's. Sick. Jane that is and she needs a change of clothes and couple of items. If I can just pop home and fetch them to her I'd be very grateful." I stammered out my excuse.

She sighed. "So that's the reason for Charles absence, he's busy playing doctors and nurses is he?"

I flinched, not sure what she was implying about my sister. Mr Darcy chose that moment to speak. Still looking down at the desk. "Is she ok? Your sister Jane that is. Is there anything we can do?" He looked up at me. I felt my body stiffen under his penetrating gaze. His eyes seemed to look through me, I was held prisoner by those eyes. Remembering he had in fact asked me a question and ' _Green Eyes'_ was sat there looking at me impatiently awaiting an answer, her eyes darting back and forth from Mr Darcy to me like she watching some sort of crazy tennis match, I pulled myself together.

"No. Thank you. I just need to get her the things and I need to know where he, _Mr Bingley_ , lives. If you could give me the address that would be great thanks."

"Didn't Jane give it to you?" He asks.

I blush. "No it must have slipped her mind, being ill and all." I lied. He seemed to buy my reason. Mr Darcy stood and looked at the clock on the wall, down at Caroline and then at me.

Finally fastening his jacket, he shocked me to the core. "I'll take you."

"What?" Caroline and I asked in unison. He looked at us both surprised like it was the most natural thing in the world and we were mad to question it.

"I'll take you." He repeated. "I need to have lunch and remind my friend of the office policy for taking sick days." His face bare of any emotion, I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. It occurred to me I may have inadvertently gotten Charlie into trouble with his peers. I hoped not, I hoped it was just Mr Darcy's idea of humour. Jane would hate me forever and _my mother_ …

"Oh no, no, you can't do that, I mean you can, I mean you _can_ go there, but you shouldn't take me. I need to go to my place first and collect the things anyway, so I'll see you there. Maybe. Later. Or not." I'm babbling on as I make my way backwards toward the door bumping in to the handle for good measure. This was not going as planned. The last thing I wanted was to be trapped in a car with Mr Darcy. No thanks. Caroline was giving me daggers again. Those green eyes full of hatred. Like it was my fault he had offered. I looked from her to Mr Darcy again, hoping my eyes held some sort of appeal. If they did, he obviously wasn't feeling very appealing, because he just shrugged.

"Don't be ridiculous. Where is the sense in that? We're both going to the same place. Your flat is on the way, it isn't even a detour. Come on." He straightened up and strode out of her office, leaving a look on Caroline's face like she had swallowed a wasp. I walked quickly behind him trying to catch up to his long stride as we made our way through the office. I purposely ignore the people who turned to look. I knew what must be going through their minds. Brand new graduate legal secretary leaving at lunch time with a senior partner. God, I would be water cooler gossip by the time I got back. Not that it bothered me. People could say what they wanted as long as I knew the truth. And then it struck me like a bolt of lightning: _I never told him where I lived._

The taxi ride here had been uneventful, he spoke my address to the taxi driver and then we sat in silence for a few minutes until we reached the smart Victorian house that had been converted into four flats. My aunt and Uncle only stayed here the odd weekend they were in the city. So they hadn't gone overboard with the budget. That said, it was a beautiful place in a lovely area. It suited me perfectly. I was on the ground floor so we walked into the tiled entrance hall and I motioned towards the door. My brain quickly did an inventory of how I had left it this morning. I was always neat and tidy. In a house of seven you had to clear your stuff away or it had the tendency to go missing. I breathed a sigh of relief when I opened the door and found the place quite presentable.

"Just give me two minutes to grab her a few bits. I'll be right out." I gushed and walked quickly into the bathroom, stopping to check my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were slightly puffing from all the crying earlier but not too bad. I looked flushed. Why was I blushing? Because of him? I grabbed a spare toothbrush from the unopened packet, some deodorant and a few other things. After collecting a few choice items from my wardrobe, I made my way back into the living room to find Mr Darcy exactly where I had left him. _Exactly_ where I left him. Strange.

His eyes flit to the holdall I was carrying. "All done?"

"Yes and thanks again, for all this. I don't know what's up with Jane she's never ill and that's saying something, given her chosen profession has little kids coughing and sneezing on her all day." I laugh.

No reaction.

Feeling kind of stupid I walk towards the door. He gets there first, opening it and gesturing for me to go through before him. I smiled up at him in thanks but found he was already looking out in to the lobby area. I turn to pull the door shut, locking it. He spun round and reached past me. For a horrifying second I foolishly think he's going to pull me in for a kiss but instead he reached for the door handle pulling it to test if it was locked. I scowled at him. Some people would consider his a sweet gesture, and if it was from anyone else I would have thought the same. Coming from him, I imagined it was more likely he didn't trust me to have locked up properly. We sat in silence again on the ride to Charlies Apartment. The only interaction between us being when we climbed out of the taxi and he grabbed the overnight bag I had stored Jane's things in.

He walked ahead stopping at the glass door of the apartment building placing his hand on the surface above my head and pushing the door open. I had to walk beneath his outstretched arm, sliding between his sleeve and his chest. His scent wafts over me and I inhale in spite of myself. He smells unbelievable. Clean. Crisp. Delish. _I still detest him._ We rode the lift up to Charlie's floor in silence too. He stepped out and I followed to Charlie's door. Darcy stood in front of me as he knocked on the door. Charlie answered it wearing a casual t-shirt and jeans. He looked good casual. "Nick! … What…?" He pulled the door almost shut behind him obviously wanting to block what – _who_ \- was ever in his flat from view. Was this a secret to everyone? "… What are you doing here? I said I'd be in tomorrow. I'm taking a personal day." He splutters. Darcy never said a word. He just moved to one side so Charlie could see me.

"Hi!" I waved at Charlie, smirking at his stunned expression.

"Elizabeth. Lizzie? What?" he grabbed at his hair looking totally bewildered. "I don't understand? Sorry but what are you doing here?"

"I got a message that Jane might be in need of some assistance." I gesture to the holdall. His face went a comical shade of red and he looked at the floor avoiding my eyes, or maybe more Nicks.

After our awkward greeting Charlie relaxed and let us in. Telling me Jane was in the master bedroom. _His_ bedroom. In _his_ bed. _Jane._ Unfortunately Jane's white face, sweaty brow and bucket by the bed didn't prove my suspicion of a romantic interlude. I rushed over. She was wearing a faded blue t-shirt that must be Charlies. "Lizzie, what are you doing here? Wait, of course you're here. She phoned you, didn't she?"

"Well _technically_ I called her."

"Dad." We both sighed at the same time.

"Oh Lizzie, this is the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. I come here for a romantic evening and end up throwing up all over; myself included and have had to call my mum to get my little sister to bring me a change of clothes. I'm twenty three! This is mortifying."

"It could be worse. You could have thrown up on him!" She blushes. "Oh Jane you didn't?"

"All over his nice Armani suit." She admits sorrowfully.

I can't control the laughter bursting from within me. She hides her face under the covers. I pull them back trying to calm myself. "Oh my God! Jane that is the funniest thing I ever heard."

"Shut up Lizzie," she moaned shoving me lightly on the leg. "You're supposed to be making me feel better." But she was smiling.

"Well if it makes you feel better, I let you in on a little embarrassing secret of my own. I got upset at work today, shut myself in a stock cupboard and cried." I chuckled.

Jane didn't laugh, she sat up straighter in bed, grabbing my hand. "Lizzie what's wrong? Tell me! You never ever cry. Ever."

"It was nothing, just a weak moment. I'm fine now." _Just embarrassed_. "So about you and Mr Bingley? How come I had to find out from mum?" I scowl at her.

"Lizzie it's all happening so fast. I didn't want to tell you because I knew what you would say." I flinched and she caught me. "Don't take this wrong way Lizzie, but you're not the most romantic girl in the world. If I told you I was falling in love with a man I barely know, I know what your reaction would be. I just wanted to see how things go without the added pressure of your opinion." She confessed. _Oh my God is that what she thinks? Is that what they all think?_

"Oh. Is that what you think? That I would judge you?" I asked. She looked at me anxiously, blushing as she nodded. "Jane! I love you and if Charlie makes you happy, then I'm happy too."

"Oh Lizzie, he does! He makes me so happy. Even when I was sick on him and crying and in a mess, he took care of me, carried me to his bed and then sat with me all last night to make sure I was ok. Can you believe that? Can you believe men like that even exist in real life?" I shook my head, but before I got a word in, she continued. "He took the day off so he could take care of me. And we've talked Lizzie, I mean really talked. Late last night and today. All about our lives, our hopes and dreams. He loves that I'm a teacher. He's really passionate about Netherfield."

"It sounds to me like you've found your prince Charming. Do I need to book the church?" I joked, but again she didn't laugh. Was this really it? Was Jane actually in love? Suddenly I felt a pang of jealousy hit me deep inside. I shrugged it off and hugged my sister. I was pleased for her. I was. Really.

"Knock, knock, I wonder if you were ready for anything to eat yet?" Charlie stood at door gazing at Jane. That little pang appeared again. I wanted someone to look at me like that. Like I was the only person in the room, the only person alive that mattered. The way Charlie was looking at Jane.

"No thanks Charlie. Not yet. But Lizzie's probably starving." She laughed and ushered me off the bed.

"Thanks, yes, I just need to go freshen up, is there a bathroom I can use?" Charlie pointed it out and as I left I noticed he remained. I came out of the luxurious bathroom and made my way into the kitchen looking for the lunch that was supposedly prepared. I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of Mr Darcy. In Charlie's kitchen, suit jacket and tie strewn across a dining chair, his white shirt rolled up to his elbows. Making sandwiches. Suddenly I felt a pang of something else inside me and it wasn't jealousy. It was lust. Mr Darcy was _hot_.

"Are you intending standing there and staring at me all afternoon Miss Bennet?" He examined me with the same look he had in Caroline's office. I blushed, realising I had just been caught.

"What? Nothing. Um …" I looked down at the lunch searching for words, any words. "I just didn't realise you do things like this. I thought you would have someone do it for you."

He frowned. "It's only a sandwich, I can take care of myself. I can cook."

"Oh I'm sure. It's just … You know. I've read the books. Aren't you billionaire business men all supposed to have house keepers, famous chefs and drivers at your disposal? So far, you've driven around in taxis, carried my bags and now this?"

"Firstly, I'm not a billionaire, I'm wealthy yes, but not _that_ much. My Aunt, Lady Catherine owns the company after all. Yes I will inherit at some point but even then…" He trailed off looking back down at the expertly made sandwich. Was this man a perfectionist in everything I wonder? "Secondly, this isn't _my_ home. It belongs to Charles and he doesn't have staff to do it." He half-smiled.

Was that his attempt at humour? I grinned back awkwardly and accepted the plate of food he had offered me. "Thanks. And thanks again for bringing me here." I say graciously. He paused and his eyes showed a flicker of something dark before he turned away heading back to the kitchen area. I couldn't get over how different he looked. All the times I had caught a glimpse of him since I began working at Rosings he had been in his suit, the jacket hiding his muscular body. Now he had removed it and his pristine white shirt was tucked neatly into the contrasting black suit trousers, it showed off a narrow waist and large biceps. The expensive material was tailored to fit him well, very well.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

His simple question jolted me back to reality. I had to stop this now. He was off limits. He was the boss. Not forgetting the whole, embarrassed by my family, proud conceited attitude he carried with him along with that chip on his shoulder. "Water would be great thank you." He closed the fridge picking up his plate along with two bottles of water and pointed a long finger towards the sofa.

"Shall we sit?" he asks softly.

"Sure." I took the water bottle from him and eagerly took a sip grateful for the distraction. I sighed and kicked off my heels, pulling my feet beneath me on the sofa. Charlie still hadn't made an appearance since I left them alone, we could be here for a while. I thought about letting Caroline know where I was but it seemed pointless. I was out with the boss after all. Thinking of her and Darcy brought something to the front of my mind. "Thank you for earlier." He looked at me puzzled. "The tissue… I… thank you." He smiled for the first time, a small smile that held promise and I chose to believe it was a secret one he saved just for me.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks again for any hints and tips I am receiving. I am only doing this as a hobby while the kids are at school, I haven't been to any creative writing classes or anything of that nature. I just had this in my head for a while now and felt like sharing. That said I am trying to do my best so the help is always appreciated. For the person who left the comment about my choice in the word 'infamous', yes I am aware of its definition, I admit it was a poor choice, in my defence I was thinking mostly of Lady Catherine when I chose it. I have now replaced it with something more suitable. Thanks again for the pick up!**_

 **Chapter Six: Mr Darcy**

I love her eyes.

Big deep brown pools you could fall into. Sparkling. They always sparkled like she was happy just to be alive. _Except for this morning_. What was all that about? I'd seen Caroline giving her a bad time all morning. I don't know why she does this to all the secretaries, like she felt threatened or something. She doesn't have to be, she's rich, attractive and a rising star in the firm, why should be threatened by a naive timid secretary? But then I guess Elizabeth Bennet isn't any of those things. Maybe that's the truth, Caroline Bingley has finally met her match. I rub my face trying to disguise the smile on my face as I look at her.

Legs curled beneath her on Charlie's sofa, heels discarded on the floor. She looks so laid back and comfortable and this is the first time she's ever been here. I don't think she's happy being in heels. I noticed at the graduation ceremony she took them off as soon as she could. She looks like the type of girl who would be happy running naked and bare foot through a meadow. _Jesus Christ what am I saying?_ I'm her boss! She's my secretary. I'm the senior partner in a firm I, one day, will inherit, outstanding reputation and all. I can't be having feelings for an employee.

She's making small talk about Rosings and other mundane things such as the weather. Normally I would be bored, but with her I'm happy just to let her talk with minimum responses from me, a simple nod of the head and sigh here and there, seems to be working. My mind is already so befuddled with things I should not be thinking, that her actual words are lost on me. "Mr Darcy?" I clear my head and pay attention to what she is saying _, what had she been saying?_ She rolls her eyes at me and it makes me want to laugh out loud. "I _said_ it seems to be me who is doing most of the talking. I think it's your turn to say something now don't you?"

"What would you have me say?" I ask her.

"Whatever you want, surely the great Nicholas Darcy must have something he wishes to add to the conversation besides grunts and nods."

"I don't believe in talking just for the sake of avoiding silence."

"Me neither, I feel we are both similar in that way, you may find this hard to believe but I find we are quite alike in some aspects of our personalities." I stare at her incredulously. She smiles and continues. "For example, we both avoid speaking to an audience unless we are sure it will amaze everyone in the room."

I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably at the accuracy of her words. I can't believe she feels the same, she certainly didn't act that way. Then again, she did seem to enjoy promoting Jane to anyone and everyone while she watched from the side lines. She is patiently awaiting my answer. I choose my words carefully. "I think you may have drawn conclusions regarding my character a little too hastily."

She narrows her eyes at me and then her face softens and she smiles. "Well then I apologise, but for my own part, it was the truth."

"Hasn't it been said, that being able to sit in comfortable silence with someone is the true proof of affection."

She screws up her nose at me. "I can't believe that would encourage affection, I'm sure it would grow quite boring and lonely over time."

"So what would you say _would_ encourage affection?"

"Talking." She teases.

I hold back a smile, while she openly mocks me.

Before I can continue our conversation further, Charlie finally makes an appearance. He'd been in there for twenty minutes 'just checking on Jane'. There's another little problem I need to nip in the bud. It was obvious to me, my friend had fallen head over heels for that blonde beauty in there. From my observations, she was nowhere near that. I had spent some time with them over the past few weeks and despite Charlie blatantly throwing himself at her, she was guarded and restrained when it came to showing any kind of affection. Sadly, I had the feeling Charlie's love was quite unrequited. As usual I would need to be there to pick up the pieces of someone else's love life. Wasn't that always the case? I wonder who, if anyone, would be there for me if I needed them.

No, something had to be done to put a stop to this before it got out of hand and Charlie did something stupid. I would ask Caroline, she would help. She did anything I asked. I know there was some unrequited feelings there too, on her part. She was like a sister to me and nothing more, but I knew she wanted just that, _more_. It was selfish of me to use this to get her to help me, but it was necessary for the happiness of her brother after all.

After this morning though, I wasn't quite sure I was still in her favour. I had come on quite strong about her not upsetting the female staff. I had left out Elizabeth's name on purpose, explaining it was everyone not any one person in particular. I couldn't stand to see her upset like that this morning. And when Caroline calls her Eliza, it makes me want to hit something. I would have to keep all that under control if I was going to use Caz to help me with this delicate little situation. After listening to Elizabeth and Charles discuss Jane's health and when he would be returning to the office, I inform her that we should be leaving.

On the way back to the office I remain quiet. Not because I don't want to talk to her, but because I have to put a stop to this too, before it starts. We are employee and employer, work colleagues and nothing more. We couldn't be. She smiles the whole journey back to the office and not for the first time in my life I wonder what it must be like to be that happy all the time. I was the one with the envious career and bank account and yet she was the one with the beaming face.

Surprisingly, convincing Caroline wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. Despite being visibly irritated at me for taking Elizabeth with me at lunch, she quickly softened and agreed this little fling between Charlie and Jane had to stop before anyone got hurt, or in her words ' _tainted beyond redemption.'_ We agreed Charlie would be best going overseas for a while. The American Office had been after us to send someone to oversee things, Charlie was perfect and time apart would no doubt put stop to this _business_.

It would be up to me to persuade him that time apart would do them good. I would convince him they had been moving too fast and he needed to get away from her to think more clearly. I know he would be furious at first, he would not want to be parted from her, but he trusted me. I feel bad about manipulating a friend, but it was for his own good. He would thank me later. Caroline would be there as a back-up. I had warned her to tread lightly, voicing our doubts about Jane too early would only push him further into her arms.

I leave her office thinking we have finished our conversation, eager to get back to work and salvage some of the day. Her arm slides into mine and links as she drags me gently but forcibly to the break room. I look around to ensure no one is watching us, unfortunately it seems there wasn't much to see. Earlier when I had walked out with Elizabeth, every head had turned. I surmised it must because of Caroline. Half the work force already thought we were a couple and the other half were of the opinion we should be. Caroline helps herself to coffee while I hover near the door waiting for my chance to escape.

"So what are we going to do about this other little matter that needs clearing up?" Caroline purrs at me over the table.

I sit down intrigued. "Other matter?" _Please don't be talking about us_.

Her hand snakes towards mine and her fingers play with my cufflinks. " _Her._ Your new little project. Eliza Bennet."

"Lizzie." I hiss at her. I couldn't help myself.

She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. Not even close. "Yes _Lizzie_. I don't think it's a good idea her being here. She has a mixture of pride and impertinence that no _secretary_ should have." She spits the word secretary like it shouldn't be said out loud. I recoil. We were all human, why should it matter what she did for a living, or her parents? Of course it matters. In my world especially, it did matter. I lean on the breakfast bar trying to appear as if I am listening intently, while simultaneously trying to block out every cruel word she is saying about this beguiling woman, I am only just beginning to get to know. "She seems to have no recognition of her place here and keeping to it. Nick, I don't think you're at your best when she's around, she seems to have some sort of hold on you. I don't know what it is and I can't even imagine why anyone would see anything in that little waif. She has no style, no class and no real beauty. Did you see her face when she came into my office earlier?" she chuckles to herself. I flinch again, I want to shout back 'you are the reason she looked so upset'. Instead I concentrate my gaze on a chip in the surface of the counter top. She mistakes my silence as agreeance and carries on. "My assistant Anne and I have just been discussing it – how very ill she looked. She seems so changed since the day of the graduation. Her face is too thin, her skin is dull and there is really nothing about her features that stands out."

I took a deep breath in letting it out slowly, hoping my anger would dissipate with it. Caroline doesn't miss my reaction and smiles over her coffee cup. "And yet, she seems to appeal to you, or am I mistaken?"

I bite my thumb nail, had I been that transparent? Has anyone else at the office noticed my attraction to her? Surely I've been more careful than that. What if it got back to Aunt Catherine? Whatever, this needed to end now. "No, she's a distraction yes, something nice to look at, but nothing else. I told you before. I mean yes, I can see an attraction, her eyes have a certain _quality_ about them, but she isn't enough to tempt me.

She scoffs. "Her eyes seem to have a sharpness to them when she looks at me, which I do not like at all." I want to laugh to myself at that, Lizzie had made her feel like that because her eyes were the most expressive I had ever seen. You could tell what she was thinking just by looking into her eyes. I tried to avoid them whenever I spoke to her, just so it wouldn't show on my face what I was feeling or thinking. When I did let my gaze wander to them, something would grab at my heart like an elastic band squeezing tighter and tighter until she would look away and I would be at last granted some relief.

I shrug to agree with her. I need to wrap this conversation up. I don't know how much more of this abuse against Elizabeth I can stomach. "Besides she isn't my type." I swallow past the lie that was lodged in my throat. _And to seal the deal._ "I prefer red heads." She smiles and this time it didn't just meet her eyes, it shoots through her botox'd head. I love Caroline as a sister. I just hope she realises I'm playing with her and that nothing can ever really come of our harmless flirting. It had always been a game between us, but lately it seemed she was taking it a little too seriously. Maybe it was time to give up our pointless games and distinguish our relationship once and for all. I didn't want to hurt her; she flirted with me, I flirted back. It had started as a joke to wind Charles up. I enjoy Caroline's company and conversation more than most and she had been a good friend to Georgiana. I open my mouth ready to make things clearer, to ensure she knew I was only teasing when I become aware of movement in the photocopy room next door, and decide this conversation is over. I make my excuses to Caroline and return to my office. On the way past my eyes involuntarily roam to Elizabeth's desk, but she isn't there.

This afternoon a big case had been dropped into my lap, one of the other partners was struggling and needed my expertise. I'm not going to lie; I am damn good at my job. I may have had the firm handed down to me, but I made sure I deserved it. The result is, I have a high success rate and a loyal staff beneath me who respect me. The work on the case had progressed into the evening and I had requested a legal secretary to stay and help, but it seems none were available. I take a moment to stretch my legs, the office is eerily quiet, only illuminated by the background wall lights. It is peaceful and calm here at night and I often get most of my important work done in the evening when everyone has left. I look at Lizzie's desk, its clear. She must have left. Small miracles, at least it wasn't her I would be working with.

I go back to my office, my stomach announcing the fact I haven't eaten since lunch. I clear up the papers scattered over my desk and gather my things, intending to leave and grab a bite to eat on the way home. However as I pass by the conference room at the end of the corridor, I can see a light on. I go to investigate, never imagining what I would find.

As I approach, I hear someone softly singing, off key. And there on the floor, yes laying on the hard carpet tile floor, is Lizzie Bennet. Stretched out on her stomach, legs crossed and bent up at the knee swaying back and forth, obviously to the music she is listening to through her phone. Her heels are on the floor beside her, her white blouse untucked and bunching up at the side, her grey pencil skirt creased from laying on the floor. Next to her is a discarded sandwich wrapper and can of diet cola. I've never seen a sight more stunning as her relaxed like that, oblivious to the outside world. She really didn't care. The rest of the floor is strewn with papers clearly relating to the case we should be working on.

 _We_. Her and me together. Alone.

I clear my throat to make my presence known. But she doesn't hear. She is too busy singing, what is that? Some sort of God awful drabble. She still has no idea she is being observed, suddenly it feels wrong somehow. I don't want her to think of me watching her. I'm not a stalker. I back away a few feet and then start talking into my phone in a loud voice, pretending to be in the middle of a conversation. I can see her jump up and straighten her clothes. She is just putting her feet back into her heels when I come in.

"Mr Darcy!" She looks around, for what? Help? Is she afraid to be alone with me? I don' want that. I have to try and make her feel more comfortable around me, like she just had been.

"Miss Bennet. I didn't realise anyone was still here."

"No. Charlie. That is, _Mr Bingley_ said one of the senior partners needed a secretary to help stay behind and work on a case and I could do with the experience so I volunteered. I didn't realise it was you, or I wouldn't have, I mean that is…" She looks down embarrassed.

Wouldn't have volunteered if she had known it was me? What was with this woman? What was wrong with me? Most young women would be very flattered by a man in my position taking an interest in her, but she seems unaffected by me. "Yes, it is me who required a secretary to help. I looked around and saw there was no one here and assumed they couldn't get anyone to stay, I didn't realise you were in here… waiting." I pause, she looks like she wanted to say something but thought better of it. I raise an eyebrow at her quizzically. "Why didn't you just come and find me?"

"Well Charlie had sort of told me what wanted doing and I assumed if they-the partner who had requested help- wanted help, they would come looking for me." Great, a break in communication meant I had just missed possibly the past hour and a half of her company. Alone. I look around to make sure no one else is here. Well we were alone now. Maybe if I could just get her to talk to me, once I discovered what she was really like, I wouldn't have these … feelings. She speaks again. "I suppose I should really have asked who I would be working for and then I could have come to you earlier. I assumed whoever it was would be busy," she smirked at me.

She assumes a lot. Is she mocking me? I feel anger building up inside of me, and annoyance. How dare she assume that I, a senior partner, would have been skulking around the empty office looking for her? "Miss Bennet you seem to find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own." I tell her. She stops grinning and starts frowning. Maybe I pushed her too far. I don't want to punish her for using her own initiative, but I'm mad. I'm mad at myself.

"I was just getting to grips with the case, the background and such. But now that I've done that, actually I'll leave, we can catch up on this tomorrow. It's late, I need to go." She rushes about gathering her things together, pulling on her thick winter coat and wrapping her scarf around her neck. She can't wait to get away from me. I'm really losing my touch. Then I stop myself, what am I saying? I don't want her to want me. This can't happen. It can't. So why am I placing my arm across the door preventing her from escaping me?

"Um, Elizabeth, I wondered if you're not doing anything, would like to go and grab something to eat?" I ask.

She pauses at the door, turns around and faces me, her beautiful brown eyes looking straight at me.

"No I don't think that would be a good idea. I am after all only tolerable. I wouldn't want to tempt you with my nice eyes. And besides." She pushes my arm down and opens the door. "I'm not a red head." With that she walks out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Lizzie**

The doors of the lift close and I slump against the wood panelled wall. Damn that felt good. Stupid man. Does he really think he can insult me like that- to my worst enemy no less- and then have the audacity to ask me out? _Seriously?_ And where is he now? No shouting me back, on his hands and knees apologising, no he just let me walk away. Insufferable, egotistical, frustrating, infuriating man!

Why did he have to be the one to find me? Coming in all his grandeur swanning about the place like he owned … well _technically_ I suppose he does have _that_ right, but did he have to do it so arrogantly and standing there with the soft light behind him making him all gorgeous and glowy. No, not gorgeous. Hateful. I hate him. I do.

I slam the door of the flat and stomp into the kitchen. Thank God there's wine in the fridge. I pour myself a glass and bung a ready meal in the microwave. After plugging my mobile on charge, I realise I have three voice mails and a text message. I look at the text first. It's from dad; can I call mum. Now what? I access my voicemail putting it on speaker phone while I start running a bath and get out of my work clothes. I hear from Lydia first. Apparently she's over visiting a girlfriend near Christmas and wonders if she could stay with me. _That'll be fun_. Next was my mother. I sit down nervously. Something must be wrong, she never calls us.

"Lizzie, please can you ring me as soon as you get this. It's very important. I need to speak to you." _Was she crying?_ Crap what's happened? I decide to listen to the last message before I ring mum, stupidly hoping somewhere deep down it would be an apology from Mr Darcy, at least my temper would be eased before I had to ring mum. But no, the night just got ten times worse. I sit on the edge of the bath eating my ready meal with one hand, while holding the phone listening to Jane and between sobs I manage to make out Charlie has gone. Apparently he had decided they needed some space to think things over and had taken a temporary job as part of the firm in America. I was stunned. I knew nothing about this, there had been no announcement at work. What was Charlie Bingley playing at, leading my sister on like that? Immediately I realise this is why my mum was so upset. She was already picking out clothes for the grand kids and now this would destroy all her hopes and dreams in one swift movement.

I speak to mum, calming her down the best I can and assuring her I will get to the bottom of this. How I'm supposed to do that, is anyone's guess. I'm just a lowly secretary after all. I also speak to Jane. She seems more upbeat saying -after her melt down- she has pulled herself back together, 'what was meant to be will be' and so forth. I know she is just putting a brave face on. I know my sister and I know when she is devastated. It was all that ' _Green eyes'_ fault. I knew when I heard her talking with Darcy at the barbeque, she'd stop at nothing to get rid of Jane and she had done just that. This must have been what they were discussing in the break room this afternoon before I overheard them talking about me.

God poor Jane, she must have just got home from his place when he told her. I silently thanked god he hadn't done it while she was still there, or while I was still there. I might have had a few choice words of my own for our Mr Bingley, and his stuck up friend. I sigh for the hundredth time. Poor Jane and poor Charlie. The more I thought about it the more I think this isn't his fault. He is just doing what his family and closest friends are no doubt advising him to. If he has done anything wrong, it is that he has allowed himself to be persuaded by them. That and he has an awful manipulating cow for a sister. With Darcy backing her up, poor Charlie wouldn't have stood a chance. I am so mad. I'm seething.

After an un-relaxing bath. I decide not to get involved at work. I still hate the pair of them and will be doing all I can to reconcile Jane and Charlie, but in the meantime, at work, I would be professional and give neither of them a reason to ruin my career in the process. Then I let myself imagine all the ways I could ruin ' _green eyes'_. The wine helps. A lot.

A week later, I arrive to find the office buzzing. Apparently the invites for the firms Christmas party had gone out. I had already decided I wasn't going to attend. The whole 'drunken-Boss-kissing-secretary-while-she-photocopies-bare-arse' clichés, were enough to put me off for life. I have no intention of going, none whatsoever.

"Lizzie, how's my favourite legal secretary?" George Wickham sidles up to me in the break room. His bright blue eyes glint with a hint of mischief and his wide smile displays his dimples perfectly. He is utterly attractive and a complete charmer. I try to ignore the little butterflies I get every time he speaks to me or looks at me like the way he is looking at me now. This man had trouble written all over him and yet I'm powerless to resist. "You know I can only think of one thing that may make attending this little shindig bearable" he grins. "You must accompany me."

I nudge him with my hip. "Oh George you smooth talker you. I don't know though, I thought I'd stay in and wash my hair, feed my cats, water my plants you know?" I answer in a dead pan voice.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Either that's slang for something else that I may wish to learn more about later, or I have misjudged you entirely."

"Misjudged? What do you mean?"

"I mean I thought you were just uptight at work, and that maybe you had this wild side you were just wanting an excuse to set free?" He cocks an eyebrow at me. I know he's trying to wind me up and it's working.

"Ok, ok, maybe I'm not quite the crazy cat lady yet." I sigh. "I would love to go the Christmas party with you. When and where?" And just like that, I am going.

Two weeks later as we sit in the taxi on the way back to Rosings where the party was being held, I decide now was the best time as any to get something out in the open that had tugged away at me for weeks. "So George, you mentioned that you grew up alongside Mr Darcy. Are you two still close?"

"Hmph." He sighs and puts his head back against the headrest. "That's a long story. I really don't think you want to hear it."

"Oh now I am intrigued, you must tell me!" I can't believe I'm on the edge of finding out some juicy Darcy gossip.

"I don't know, it might impair you opinion of your boss." George winks at me.

"I think I have already formed my own opinion of Mr Darcy, so please impair away." I inform him.

"Well, long story short. My father worked for Mr Darcy senior. A friendship between myself and Nick developed and lasted a good few years, during which time, my own parents passed away, leaving me with virtually nothing and no one. Nicks mother had already passed so his father offered me a home with them. I stayed there until I was eighteen," he looks into the distance as if reliving a painful memory. I had heard good things about Mr Darcy senior, but to think of him taking in someone else's child like that. "At which time both Darcy and I were sent away to Law School. Once we graduated we both took up our allocated places within Rosings."

"So what happened? Why aren't you friends now?"

"What makes you think that we aren't?" His eyes narrow for a moment and for a second I think I see worry behind them.

"Well for one thing, you never spend any time together at work, not even in passing, there doesn't seem to be any warmth between you. Secondly, you're polar opposites. I mean you're you, and he's … he's…" _Arrogant, pompous, proud … gorgeous in a white shirt…_

"Him?" George offers up.

"Yeah I guess. I don't know. I just can't see how you could ever be friends. But if you were, what happened?"

"Mr Darcy senior passed away and on his death made promises to me like I was his own flesh and blood, not just a colleague's son. Then Nick, took over and," he fidgets uncomfortably in his seat.

"And what?" I interrupt.

"Let's just say he didn't honour them. I was made to feel like an outsider, not the honorary brother who had lived with him for the past eight years. Anyway I kept my job here because it was what Mr Darcy had wanted, and _I_ didn't go against his last wishes. But things between Nick and I been strained ever since."

I take his hand and squeeze. "Oh god George I had no idea."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't share this with anyone, it's something I don't openly discuss."

"Of course not. Although I don't know why not, you're clearly the injured party in all this and he just stalks around the place like butter wouldn't melt. It's not fair."

He smiles at me. "I'm glad you see my side of things. I knew you would understand Lizzie. I did worry that you might be having feelings for Nick. Most of the young women who pass through Rosings do."

 _Most of the young women who pass through_. I was such a fool; he probably had secretaries falling at his feet.

"Pfft! Feelings! Only of annoyance and irritation. No don't worry this hasn't altered my opinion of Mr Darcy. If anything it has just cemented it." He takes my hand, grazing my knuckles with a kiss that makes my insides flip a little. "Wow what a gentleman."

"Well I like to think I do still have some of the Darcy manners, but I don't know if I can promise I'll always be a gentleman, not where you are concerned Lizzie Bennet." He stares at me for what seems like an eternity and I really think he is going to kiss me. I feel the heat creep up my chest onto my cheeks. In the end he turns back to look out the window giving me chance to compose myself. I am grateful for it.

As it turns out all my wonderings and clichés are completely untrue. The party is a very formal affair, largely due to the fact Lady Catherine herself is in attendance. George and I chat for a while before he goes off to schmooze with the other partners. I am left wandering around, trying to put names to the faces I haven't seen before. I spot Darcy immediately, he looks exactly the same as always. I wonder if he has even bothered to get changed or just wandered down from the office at the last minute. The party is in one of the large conference suites on the ground floor. There is a spectacular buffet and a free bar. So this is how the other half lived. I reach to get myself an appetizer or two to tide me over so I wouldn't get too tipsy, when my arm brushes someone else's. I look up into a pair of lovely friendly blue eyes. I immediately smile back, I like him whoever he is. Not romantically; but like when I first met Charlie Bingley.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there." I apologise, while taking in the rest of his features. He is tall, not as tall as Mr Darcy but a lot taller than me. Why am I doing that? Why am I immediately comparing this man with _him_? The stranger has chiselled features, a strong jaw that has a light spattering of stubble as if he hadn't shaved since this morning, another workaholic. He has on a navy blue pinstripe suit.

"My fault entirely. I'm Richard Fitzwilliam. And you must be the famous Miss Bennet?"

He goes for my hand but I flinch, how does he know who I am? "Sorry but how do we know each other? I mean I know who _you_ are, a senior partner and all, Lady Catherine's nephew. But how do you know me? I'm not a famous anything."

"Oh contraire miss Bennet, I believe you are very popular in some quarters." He looks over at Mr Darcy.

I don't know where he's got this idea from, time to set him straight. "Mr Fitzwilliam..."

"Richard, please, we're not in the office now."

" _Richard_. I don't know what Mr Darcy has told you, but I'm just trying to keep my head down, work hard and build a career for myself. I'm sorry if any of my actions have implied I may be here for any reason other than work. If they have, it was not my intention."

"Miss Bennet. I have no idea what you are talking about. But I will make it my mission to find out. I was referring to the comical way you turned down my cousin's invitation to dinner the other night. I have never known any woman turn down an invitation from Nicholas Darcy and that makes you a very interesting person to me."

I laugh nervously, looking around for some kind of escape - where is George? As I scan the room for my 'date', my eyes rest on Mr Darcy tucked away in a corner with Caroline. Figures. I was probably a way of wasting time before the real thing.

"So Miss Bennet, may I call you Eliza?" I glare at him, stupid ' _Green Eyes'_ telling everyone I'm called Eliza, how am I supposed to tell a senior partner, my boss, he got my name wrong? So I don't.

"Yes Eliza is fine thank you."

"Oh you disappoint _, Lizzie_!" I look at him totally confused. Am I being set up here or something? He could see my obvious distress, tucking my arm through his he leads me to the dance floor and without him even asking me if I would like to, we are dancing. "Lizzie, Nick told me that a certain co-worker of ours refers to you as Eliza, even though that is not your name. I just wanted to see if could get a rise out of you, and failed miserably it would seem."

I smile awkwardly. As much as I am enjoying Richard's company I can't help but feel like I'm part of a huge game played by the upper classes that I have not been privy to the rules of. The tension between us gradually disappears and I find myself really enjoying dancing with Richard. Despite the fact he is another boss and insanely wealthy, although not as much as Mr Darcy. He makes me feel we are just two friends at a party. All the while Mr Darcy's stony expression never changes.

"So what _is_ going on between you and Nick? Any juicy gossip? I never find out anything being upstairs. Darcy never used to leave either, but recently he seems to be spending more and more time in the floor below." He winks at me.

"Sorry to disappoint you - again. But there is absolutely nothing going on between Mr Darcy and myself. We are strictly work colleagues and nothing more. Besides I have it on very good authority he prefers red heads."

"Is that so?" He looks over at Darcy raising an eyebrow, then mumbles "is that so?"

MrDarcyMrDarcyMrDarcy. I am so tired of hearing his name. I decide to change the subject to get us away from _Mr Darcy_.

"It's a shame Mr Bingley had to leave so suddenly. I would have liked to see him before he left, just to say goodbye. I bet he would have like to have been able to come tonight too."

"Yes it was a shame, but between you and me, a little bird told me, his removal to the states was rather a rescue mission, than just for work."

 _A what?_ "A rescue mission? What would he need to be rescued from?"

"Who rather than what. Apparently he was heading down a disastrous relationship route. Got himself tangled up with a girl who was no good." _Jane no good?_

"No Good? Why? Why was she no good?" I ask desperately.

"Well I heard from a very good source, she was basically only after his money and didn't reciprocate his true feelings in anyway."

An audible gasp leaves my mouth before I can prevent it. Richard pulls away from me, holding me at arms-length while he looks at me, concern all over his face. "Lizzie are you alright, you've gone pale."

"Yes. Yes. I just … Please continue." He pulls me back into the embrace and we continue to dance.

"Well there isn't much more to tell. Darcy stepped in like the good friend he is and saved him from a loveless inappropriate marriage." _Marriage?_ So Charlie had intended to propose. Darcy stopped him.

Darcy. Darcy. Darcy.

"How could he know it was loveless? How could anyone know how she really felt about him?"

"I believe Darcy had spent time with the pair and he had told me himself, that he suspected indifference on the girls' part, that she was just using him." He explains. As if Jane would ever use anybody. He had seen them together. They obviously trusted him with their secret more than me. That was a mistake, "Add onto that her background." Background? Background? A loving middle class family with a doctor at the head, from a sleepy English village. How could that be a problem? "And my cousin's friend Charles had a lucky escape." The music changes, our dance has come to a halt. "Thank you for the dance Miss Bennet. I hope to see you again. I really do." He lowers his head smiling and walks away.

Background. Lucky Escape. Indifference. _Oh Jane_.

Just when I begin to wonder what has possessed me to ever come tonight, I feel a familiar presence behind me once again and the hairs on my neck stand to attention to prove it. I swivel around and sure enough, come face to face with Nicholas Darcy. By now my patience for this man has all but run out. Not only had he ruined Georges' life, but now Janes. "Miss Bennet." His eyes soften, "Elizabeth, I wonder if you would care to-" An uproar over at reception interrupts him, security are trying to restrain an unwelcome visitor. I risk a glance over Nick's shoulder. "Isn't that your…"

I shut my eyes moving away from Mr Darcy and towards the commotion. I'd know that blonde head anywhere and that voice. I open my eyes slowly.

"Get your rotten hands off me, I don't want to go to your stupid boring party I'm just here to find my sister and get her keys." She fell over and lands on the floor laughing helplessly. The security guards try to get her to feet. _Lydia!_ I shut my eyes again at the embarrassment that is my life, hoping beyond hope that when I open them this time it will have all disappeared. Nope. She is still here. My sister. She had come here. Come to my place of work, in front of about twenty senior people in the firm and embarrass me like this. I break away from Mr Darcy, not even daring to look him in the face. I didn't want to see what I knew I would; pity, shame, disappointment and probably anger. I make my way over to the door, every face in the party following me.

"Lydia!" I hiss, trying to make her ridiculously short hot pants cover her backside. "Lydia get yourself up off the floor and out of here right now!" I whisper-shout at her. There are a few sniggers from behind me, one undeniably Caroline Bingley's. I look helplessly at the crowd for someone to assist me. Mr Darcy steps forward and for a second I think he is coming to my rescue, I smile in relief but it is short lived. I'm flanked by both Richard and George. I look up, only to see his back disappearing through the crowd. I have embarrassed him, again.

"It's fine. Its fine, _we're_ fine, I just need some help getting her outside." With that George swept down and picked up my drunken state of a sister into his arms and heads out into the street. She squeals and clamps her arms around his neck. He winks at her and she giggles. Richard scowls after George for a second and then looks back at the crowd searching, before turning back to me.

He looks as if he is having some kind of internal struggle before he exhales and brings his attention back to me. "Well it seems you have everything under control here, Lizzie. Let me know if I can do anything to help."

"Thank you Richard, it was lovely to meet you. Sorry if I ruined the party for you."

"You did no such thing." He grins. "If anything you made it bearable!" He begins walking away but stops and returns to my side taking my hand in his, he leans in to me. "Take care Lizzie and be careful. You know where we are if you need us. I mean that." I had no idea what he could be trying to warn me about or who 'we' is, but for some reason I feel safe and scared all at once. Is he warning me to stay away from Mr Darcy? Is he worried I would ruin the reputation of his cousin like my sister has his friend? I am done with these people, I want to go home.

After saying good bye I go to help George flag down a cab and get Lydia back to the flat. Once inside she passes out on the sofa. George is watching her. "Are you sure she'll be ok, maybe I should, I don't know, stay or something?" he gives me a suggestive smile, but then casts his eye over sleeping Lydia. The way he is looking at my unconscious baby sister is making me feel a little uneasy.

"No, no, its fine, thanks, she just needs to sleep it off. I wish I could say this was a one off, but it's becoming a repeat occurrence." I go through her purse pulling out a fake drivers licence. "Mum will go mad when she finds out she's been using her fake ID again."

George laughs. "Fake ID, she looks about nineteen, why would she even need one?"

"Because she's not nineteen. She's fifteen." I heave a sigh; the whole rotten reminders of tonight were coming back to me like zombies refusing to die. Zombies? What the hell? I am tired and I want George to leave, so I can attempt at sleeping.

George looks visibly shocked and takes a step back. "Wow. She's really … _mature_."

I look at the curse, 'the Bennet boobs,' and snort "I know."

I say my goodbyes to George, promising to ring him in the morning and thank him again for helping me get her home. After he leaves I take a quick shower, I smell of alcohol and sweat, obviously transferred from Lydia. Once out and in my tank top and bed shorts I curl up on the comfy reclining chair and pull a throw over me while I keep a watchful eye on my baby sister. I'm just beginning to drift off when the doors buzzes. I try to see out of the front window, but it's dark and I can't see anyone. Two-thirty am. Who the hell is this? Probably one of Lydia drunken mates, no doubt promised a place to crash by my darling little sister. Letting out a sigh I press the intercom. "Look I don't know what Lydia told you, but you can't stay here, please go away."

"Elizabeth, its Nicholas Darcy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Mr Darcy**

I stay out of sight watching the movements within her flat and specifically the front door. Why hasn't he left yet? If he was just making sure she got home safely, surely he would have left by now? Maybe I had been right with my original suspicions; she had fallen victim to Wickham's charms. I wait with trepidation for the lights to go off so I would know for sure. I'm a fool listening to Richard, letting him talk me into coming here tonight. To check on her, to make sure Wickham doesn't do anything she didn't invite. I should have stayed at the party. Its my own stupidity that had me skulking around corners at this time of night, and it is bloody freezing. I'm just about to give in and go home when the door opens and Wickham appears. He jogs down the street and hails a taxi before disappearing out of sight. So she hasn't let him stay. I blow out a breath. Why am I so comforted by that? She means nothing to me, she couldn't do. I had vowed as much, no matter what attraction there is, no matter how it appears we are destined to be thrown in to each-others company repeatedly. Nothing can become of it. Still. I'm relieved.

George Wickham has already broken too many hearts in his shady past, I don't want Elizabeth Bennet to be the next. Richard is right, even if I don't tell her the full story I have to at least warn her what sort of man he is. I take a deep breath and ring the buzzer. Her voice comes out clear and calm if not a little irritated. "Look I don't know what Lydia told you, but you can't stay here, please go away."

I swallow down my fear. "Elizabeth, its Nick Darcy."

Without a word from her, the door clicks open and I enter the lobby crossing to her door with familiarity, I reach for the handle wiping the sweat off my palms on my jacket before knocking gently. She nervously opens the door, anxiety all over her face. I take another deep breath in and speak. "Is … Are you…?" I poke my head around her outstretched arm and glance around the empty flat. I see Lydia asleep and sigh in relief. I would be able to talk to her without her sister overhearing. "I'm sorry, forgive me I shouldn't be here at this time, but I …" it is now that I finally look at her properly. _All of her_. She stands wearing nothing but a tiny pair of shorts and a strappy top. My eyes widen in appreciation, she is everything I have imagined and more. She notices me looking and blushes. Her arms instinctively cover her braless cleavage. I try to look away and fail.

God why can't I stop looking at her?

"Its fine… that is ... Do you want to come in?" she stutters. I look around the hallway making sure no one would catch me entering her flat at this time of night. I don't want her getting a reputation with her neighbours. Wickham had just left and now here I am. I swiftly nod and enter her flat. She takes a deep breath as I walk past her, finally letting it go as she shuts the door behind me. She grabs a cardigan from the back of the door and wraps it around her, but fails to relax, the tension in her is apparent. She doesn't want me here. "Look I think I should explain about tonight. I'm so…"

"You shouldn't trust him!" I blurt out interrupting her. Her mouth drops open in surprise. "Wickham." I snap, it had been a long time since I could say his name out-loud without spite and bitterness present in my tone. She jumps in shock at my outburst and at the rage that accompanied it. "Don't believe anything he tells you. Don't listen to anything that sorry excuse for a man tells you." I warn. She presses her back against the door and stares at the ground. I hope I have gotten through to her. She stands transfixed. So I begin walking around the tiny flat. I feel large and imposing in her compact home. She still hasn't reacted, she hasn't uttered a word. I continue with my advice. "He's, well he's a complete git, if you must know. I've known him a long time and I'm being honest with you here. He's a ladies man, a player. He uses women badly. Very badly." I stop walking, turning to face her. My shoulders sag. I have wanted to say that to someone –anyone- for so long, that I am now saying it to her, seems so appropriate I can't fight back the smile as it forces its way on to my face. I have done it. I have warned her, now she would thank me and stay the hell away from him and we can go back to normal.

She pushes off the door and comes towards me. "Thank you for your opinion, but as you have already previously pointed out, I have my own. I think I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until I have formed it. If you don't mind I am very tired." She points towards the door with her chin, arms folded tightly.

This I was not expecting. Why can't she just take what I was saying as the truth and trust me? "I don't think you understand what I'm saying here Elizabeth. He's no good. He's a womaniser. He'll talk you into bed- if he hasn't already- charm you into falling for him, probably swindle you out of your life savings and then spit you out. Before moving on to the next unsuspecting female and I say female, because they don't even have to be fully grown woman for him to be tempted." My eyes travel over to Lydia. She follows my gaze and her eyes widen in horror before she shakes her head. I am still standing in front of the door, I've paced the room and I'm back where I began. She begins pacing back and forth where I have left off.

She stops and looks at me with anger in her eyes. "How dare you? How dare you, come here to my home, accuse me of sleeping with someone, who has basically been nothing but a good friend to me the whole time I moved here? My _only_ friend if you must know. The only one who has shown me any kindness." She confesses. I lift my head, she's right. No one at Rosings has welcomed her, not really, especially not Caroline or me. Is it any wonder she flocked to Wickham? She hasn't denied sleeping with him. Did this mean I am too late? She already has a relationship with him. Could she have fallen for him while I was busy falling for … As if she read my thoughts she grabs my attention again. "I am not sleeping with George Wickham." I can't help but feel relieved. I tell myself it's just because of him and his character and how I couldn't see another young girl get mixed up with him and end up broken hearted. Deep down I know it is nothing to do with that. "Even if I were, it would be none of your business." She spits. "While we are on the subject of things being none of your business, what about Charlie and Jane?"

I look at her accusingly. "What about them?"

"Do you deny it? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who loved each other? Leaving them both utterly miserable and disappointed." She comes to a stop and I take over pacing again. A movement from Lydia catches my attention and I stop. I don't want a witness to this conversation. I look back at Elizabeth, then without warning take her arm pulling her over to the kitchen area away from her sleeping sister. The moment my hand touches her arm, a bolt of something shoots through me. It is the first time I have actually touched her. There had been no handshakes when we first met or since. When I think back, I didn't even come near her when I offered her that tissue. All the times we have been alone I have done my up most to prevent it, to put distance between us, and now I have finally touched her, it is such a radical awakening. I'm no longer tired. Out of the corner of my eye I see her glance up at me as I guide her though the flat. She must have noticed something too. I don't show any trace of feeling it, but it was there. Despite everything telling me it is a bad idea, a terrible awful, no-good-would-ever-come-of-it idea, I realise there is something between us. I want to feel her touch, I crave it. I want her hand in mine, I imagine how it would fit so perfectly. My grip is firm but gentle. She can easily pull away if she wants to, but she doesn't. I should let her go. I should leave, but I don't.

Once we're far away enough from her sister to continue the conversation I address her earlier accusation. "I do not deny it." My voice is low but stern. I'm not sorry. As far as I'm concerned I have done my friend a good favour. Charlie had already fallen hard and when he realised she didn't feel the same, he would be devastated. I take a moment to acknowledge the fact the story of my friends romantic failure is much the same as mine. We had both fallen for women decidedly beneath us and from which no good could ever come and yet we still want them badly enough to put all that aside and be with them. Yet ironically, they don't want us. Not for the reasons they should anyway. Charlie has feelings for Jane but the depth of her feelings towards him, are not the same. I have feelings for Elizabeth and she doesn't have feelings for me in return. Charles was miserable without Jane and I am here in the middle of the night unable to leave Elizabeth's side. I can't give it up this unbelievable notion that we should be together. Maybe it's just sexual chemistry, like an itch you just have to scratch despite being warned not to. You just can't help yourself. Maybe this is it. She's intelligent, beautiful and funny; anyone in my situation would feel this way too. I lean against the kitchen counter, my arms folded across my chest protecting my heart from hers.

The longer I observe her, the angrier she becomes, until I think she may explode.

"How could you do it?" she murmurs.

"Because I believe Charles is the only one who is truly in love in the relationship. Your sister seems … indifferent."

"Indifferent?"

"I watched them when they were together, most carefully, and realised his attachment was far deeper that hers."

"That's because she's shy! She wouldn't show her true feelings for Charlie in front of his friend, in front of a stranger who probably made her feel uncomfortable just for being there with them, like some sort of judgmental third wheel."

I consider this for a moment, but then shake my head. "In any case Charles thought so too."

"Because you and Gree- Caroline suggested it!" She's whispering as loud as she can. She wants to scream and yell at me, but Lydia's presence is preventing it. I long to see her when she really lets loose, loses control and gives her best argument. I would love to argue with her. I enjoy the banter, the way she likes to degrade me on the verge of insulting only to then come back with some witty remark that had you wanting to laugh with her.

"I did it for his own good!" I retort.

Her beautiful face scrunches in anger and her eyes seem tired. "Jane's been hurt so many times before, admirers that turn out to be creeps who only want one thing; she hides her feelings until she's completely sure."

The frown on my face slips and my tense muscles seem to relax. Could I have been wrong? Could I have judged the situation so poorly? Elizabeth doesn't give me chance to think before continuing. "And what about all this nonsense about her after his money? Isn't that what you told Charlie, that she was some sort of money grabber who would take it and run?"

"No! Believe me I would never ever accuse your sister of something as dishonourable as that. Carol-" I pause gathering my thoughts; " _it_ was just merely suggested…"

"What was?"

She moves closer to me, her scent assaulting my senses, clouding my mind. I look down at her, uncomfortable with her closeness, she looks back. She doesn't seem to care. "It was clear that a union between Jane and Charles would have been advantage to only one of the party involved."

"Did my sister give that impression?"

"No! No. There was however the matter of your family…"

"Oh yes, our _background_. Well Charlie didn't seem to object."

"No, it was more than that."

"What was it then?" She moves another step closer.

"It was obvious at the graduation and at the way we were so swiftly included into your family gatherings that your mother had plans. Your three younger sisters," I look across at Lydia, "well that speaks for itself don't you think. Your father-"

"My father." she interrupts, "has done nothing but be polite and civil to you and the Bingley's. He invited Charlie to our home as a friend, because that is what he believed him to be. Caroline and you were just an extension of that invitation. If we appalled you so much you should not have accepted."

This time I step closer, eager for her to know the truth. "Forgive me then. Of your father I was mistaken. You and your sister must also be excluded from this."

"It doesn't sound like it, you have just accused Jane of being nothing more than a gold digger and what am I?" She is almost touching me. I blink repeatedly unable to give an answer. "I presume I must be tarred with the same brush. Did you and Caroline think I was after you for your money? Is that it? Well you can rest assured Mr Darcy, I have no interest in you or your money." She is so close now, I'm sure she can feel my hot breath on her skin when I speak. For a minute we are frozen in time, only her and me and the sound of the clock ticking on the kitchen wall. It would be so easy to just lean forward and kiss her right now. Forget about all the arguing over the past half an hour and just enjoy each other. She looks into my eyes and I into hers. I can count her eyelashes, I drop my gaze to her lips. She licks them. Is she trying to tease me? This is too dangerous. I can't be with her this close, I can't trust myself. I stand up straighter so I am towering above her and drop my gaze completely, moving away, putting more than just distance between us. The moment is over. She looks at the floor shaking her head from side to side. I wasn't sure what was going to happen Monday, maybe she wouldn't come back. This being a maybe, I decide to apologise and at least part as friends, I turn to do just that when she floors me completely.

"And what about George?"

My neck snaps up so quickly I think it will break. "George? George Wickham?" I spit out the name like its poison on my lips. She nods.

"What excuse can you give for your behaviour toward him? He told me all about what you did to him when your father died. Thanks to you he's had so many obstacles to overcome to just to get on in life. Obstacles he wouldn't have had to face if you had followed your father's wishes. You have everything you could ever want and yet you treat him like dirt. Like a stranger, worse than a stranger. He was your friend, with that and the help you gave Charlie, I wonder how you can have anyone to call friend left."

"Obstacles!?" I bang my fist on the worktop, startling her again. He had told her _I_ had lied, _I_ had ruined _his_ life. "Wickham told you of these obstacles did he?"

She blushes. "He told me how he was promised things by your father, but he didn't elaborate. He said he would rather not gossip about such things." She defends him.

A wild smile settles on my face, "Oh I bet he did."

Silence surrounds us. I'm tired, exhausted, but I can't think of sleep. This would be the time. I can just tell her. Confess the whole sorry story. She would believe me then. But why should I? If she would rather trust George Wickham over Nicholas Darcy than who was I to try and force her to see the truth. She has her opinion, of that she is always reminding me and if her opinion is this then I would let her have it. I feel deflated and defeated, like I have already lost the fight, and I'm not even sure why I am fighting. "If any of those horrible things you have said about George are true, I would like to think you think high enough of my intelligence and good sense of character to recognise him for what he is and not get entangled." She isn't as sure as she seemed. There is doubt. My face softens completely, she notices and looks uneasy. I never let my guard down in front of others. Nicholas Darcy is not known for his emotional side. If anything it was the lack thereof. Even Georgie had described me as such in the past. It is because of her I am trying harder to show my feelings, but it was not easy to put aside how you had been taught as a child.

I start towards her again. I look down at her hand, fighting with myself whether or not to take it. I want to hold it again, to feel her again one last time. But I couldn't back down. Not now. When I speak again I am quieter, calmer. "You don't know what he's like. Even with all those incredible traits you could still be hoodwinked by him. I have seen it before. I would rather not see it again. Not with you. Especially not with you."

It is her heads turn to snap to attention. Could she really be so ignorant of my feelings for her? I know she has overheard things to the contrary but surely she has suspicions. The looks I give her unconsciously, the way I can't help but be near her whenever the opportunity arises. No matter what I _should_ be doing, I couldn't stay away from her. Her shoulders drop and she pulls the cardigan around her once again shivering. I want to wrap her up in my arms and make her warm. She stands beside me placing her hand on the surface next to mine, our little fingers almost touching, and whispers "he's a friend. That is all."

I close my eyes unable to trust my face from showing the relief. Then almost as quickly as it appears the happiness disappears. Just because she hasn't yet didn't mean she wouldn't. "Well George Wickham is blessed with such a friendly and happy nature that he ensures he makes lots of friends. Whether he is a capable of retaining them, is less certain."

"Well it's plain to anyone to see he has lost your friendship. I assume from what you have said tonight, that is an irreversible event?"

"Yes. I'm afraid my good opinion once lost is lost forever." It comes across more as a warning than a statement. The cold exterior was back. She shakes her head mumbling something and then walks over to the living room again.

"I would like you to leave Mr Darcy. Now."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Lizzie**

He didn't apologise.

He left without a word or look back. When he had gone I ran into my room and screamed in to my pillow again. He is so infuriating and I cannot believe he came here and said all that. What is he? Jealous? Did he not like the fact the new little secretary didn't fancy the big senior partner? Surely he felt it? The moment had sizzled with controlled desires. If either one of us had given in to it, it would have been a different story. That moment was past now. We were to each other what we had always been. Colleagues; an employee and employer. We're not even that anyone. Although, come to think on it, he had never actually said I was dismissed. Probably because it was not the professional thing to do; turning up at ones secretary's flat in the early hours of the morning and telling her she was fired. No I suppose that little treat would await me Monday morning.

One thing is for sure, I now know for certain he was instrumental in the breaking apart of Jane and Charlie, and that, I wouldn't let rest. Could she really have appeared that indifferent? Surely, if he had spent time with them, she must have relaxed at some point and worn her heart on her sleeve? An uneasy feeling settles inside me, I thought back on how she hadn't shared the news with me, her closest sister. Supposedly so because _I_ was the closed off one, the one who wouldn't understand. Maybe this was just shielding the fact that she didn't feel as strongly towards Charlie as he did towards her. No! I couldn't believe it, I had seen her at his apartment, it was the real thing for her, and from what I had witnessed that day, for him too.

And what was all that rubbish about George using me and taking my life savings? He is a partner, junior, granted, but still a partner, in one of the most exclusive firms in the country. Surely he is alright for money, his salary alone? Then all the stuff he said started to worry me, enough so I lay and thought back over the past few weeks. It was true, Gary had come on to me straight away. Innocent flirting though, nothing sinister. Most importantly I hadn't slept with him. Yet. Maybe I should cool things with him for a while. After all, there are only a couple of days left at work and the office would shut down for the Christmas holidays. I am in way over my head here. I'm just supposed to be here to earn experience. Not make enemies or lovers. No. I will get through the next few days avoiding both Wickham and Darcy. There I have a plan, I like plans.

The next few days at work pass gratefully in one long blur. I work hard, try my best to impress Caroline, and otherwise keep my head down. I took lunch alone or with girlfriends. George was intrigued for the first couple of days but by Wednesday he stops asking. Finally it is Friday and the office is due to close for the Christmas period. I have made it a full six days without laying eyes on Mr Darcy. The office is in high spirits, people basically clearing their workloads before heading off to whatever plans awaited them. Personally I can't wait to get out, catch the train and head back home to Longbourn.

 _'_ _Green Eyes'_ appears at my desk, so I run through the work I had completed and assure her nothing is left unfinished. She wishes me a good holiday - through clenched teeth- forces a smile, and then surprises the hell out of me by giving me a gift. I pause like a rabbit caught in headlights. I haven't got her anything. Was I supposed to? What the hell was I supposed to get her? She must see the panic in my eyes, and gives me one of her 'I know better than you' smiles and says in a cool voice, "relax Eliza, it's a corporate gift from the company. It's _nothing_ personal. She drops the gift onto my desk turns on her heel and leaves.

I let out a huge sigh and then a relieved chuckle. As if ' _Green Eyes'_ would buy me a Christmas gift! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I smack my forehead with the palm of my hand and begin shutting down my computer. I sense rather than hear him approach. The hairs on the back of my neck treacherously stand to attention. I turn around quickly and there leaning against the photocopier room door, in a smart steel grey suit, black wool coat over his arm and brief case in hand, is Mr Darcy.

I quickly look around and realise that the office is empty, why hadn't I realised this earlier? The amount of goodbyes I have said, I should have. He stands up straight and takes a step towards me, I freeze wondering what piece of advice he could be about to bestow upon me. I roll my eyes and scowl in his direction. He stops abruptly just in front of me, and looks at me raising one eyebrow, mumbling "Merry Christmas Miss Bennet" and leaves. I gather my coat and gloves and leave too.

Damn frustrating man.

Christmas at Longbourn is the normal mad frantic loud occasion it always is. And I love every minute. It seems so long since I have been in the mix of my family. We laugh, cry and argue just like always and I am going to miss it so much when I go back. A couple of days after Christmas, we are all informed Mr Collins, the Doctor taking over my father's practice, would be joining us for dinner. He is new to the area and dad wants to make sure he knows some friendly faces.

Doctor Collins arrives precisely on time, bearing gifts of cheap wine and cheaper flowers for my mum. She gushes over how lovely they are, and he is, to have had the thought and hurries them into water while he openly surveys our home. I take an instant dislike to him. He constantly ogles Jane, not that she even notices she so distracted since Charlie leaving I don't think she would realise if the house was on fire. She had received an email only this morning from Caroline informing her that Charles was happy in America and had no intention of returning any time soon. He wishes us all a Merry Christmas etc. Jane had been in her room most of the day since only appearing for meals. After a ridiculous failed attempt from Mr Collins at impressing her, she had returned to her room.

Mr Collins makes a remark about how delicate women's dispositions are, causing a joint sigh from myself, Mary, Kitty and Lydia and a roll of eyes from our dad. Mum is, as always, impressed with his manners and defends him admirably. Anxious to check on Jane, I try to make my escape when I find myself trapped into a corner with Mr Collins. The odious man just won't take hint. Can't he tell by my _obvious disinterest_ I am not interested in him? Unfortunately for me the feeling is not mutual. Out of the four remaining Bennet sisters Mr Collins takes a particular liking to me. Egged on no doubt by my match making mother. When he discovers I work at Rosings, it's like he has won the lottery.

"Oh my dear Elizabeth." _Dear?_ What are we, ninety? "What a true honour and pleasure it is to be associated with the supreme greatness that is Lady Catherine De Burgh. She has invested so much of her personal time and money in to my career I feel I will owe her for the rest of my life. I'm sure you feel the same?"

I stifle a laugh. Yes she had given me a job, but to be honest other than that I didn't believe I owed her anything. I have worked bloody hard to get where I am and it was no thanks to her, or her arrogant nephew. Why do I keep bringing him up? I glance at my dad who is sat in his normal seat at the kitchen table, newspaper hiding his face - and no doubt smirk stretched across it. Before I can think of a polite way of telling Mr Collins I couldn't give a flying whatsit about paying back Lady Catherine, Mr Collins addresses my dad.

"Mr Bennet, I wonder if I could appeal to your good nature and ask your permission to take Elizabeth here, out this evening."

I stand gaping between him and my dad. No! He did not just ask my _dad,_ if he could take me out on a date! I'm twenty-one for god's sake! What a slime ball.

Dad lowers his paper staring at Mr Collins and then at me and then back to Mr Collins. "Um, I'm not sure I'm following here Collins, are you asking Lizzie to go out with you, like out on a date? Because if that's the case, may I suggest you ask _her_ permission, _before_ seeking mine? She's the one who will be accompanying you after all." Dad winks at me before going back behind his paper. I silently thank my dad. I love him!

I turn to leave, when Mr Collins fingers catch my elbow. His touch is reminiscent of Mr Darcy's the night at the flat, and then again not at all. There is no zing, no feeling of everything being right in the world. His hand is cold and clammy against mine and I want nothing more than for him to let go. "Elizabeth please would you accompany me tonight into town? I believe there is a good film showing at the cinema and I would like very much for you to go with me." I look at him from head to toe. He was short, not too short. Nowhere near the six foot two stature of Mr D- No! I'm not doing that again! What else? He has green eyes, not like Caroline, his are warm and friendly but nothing enticing. His black curly hair needs a good cut, his clothes are mismatched. All in all, he comes across as a bit of a student who doesn't have the money, time or inclination to make anything of himself or his appearance. This is a contradiction of course. He is a qualified doctor, who now has his own practice to run. Unfortunately for Mr Collins there is nothing in the world that could make me want to go on a 'date' with him.

Nothing. Except, my mother.

After mum walks in on our discussion in the kitchen, she begs to know what is going on and Mr Collins happily informs her of our situation and his wishes. She of course not only gives her blessing, but encouragement. "Why of course Lizzie will go with you to the cinema that is a lovely thought Mr Collins, lovely. Now Lizzie run along and get ready."

I feel myself beginning to turn and run off to make myself presentable like a good little girl, when I remember I am a grown woman. "Mum I'm sorry, but I will not be going out with Mr Collins tonight or any other night." I turn to Mr Collins. "Mr Collins you're a lovely man and I'm sure you could make some other girl very happy if you asked her, but I do not wish it."

He looks momentarily stunned, like he hasn't heard what I have said or doesn't want to believe it. Perhaps he hasn't been turned down before? _No._ That _can't_ be it.

"Lizzie! You will go!" Mum slams her hands onto the table across from me.

"No I will not!" I slam mine down too. We are both leaning over facing each other about to go to war over this if necessary, with dad at the head of the table residing over us like an impartial judge, afraid to take sides.

"James, tell _your_ daughter that she _is_ going or I will never speak to her again!"

Dad lowers his paper looking at the bewildered doctor. "Mr Collins, would you mind excusing us? Just for a moment." Mr Collins looks between my mother and me and then back to my dad, nodding and shuffling out of the room instantly. Dad turns back to me. "Lizzie, the way I see it, you have two choices here. Either will make you a stranger to one of your parents. As, if you do not go out with Mr Collins tonight, your mother will never speak to you again, and if you _do_ go out with Mr Collins, neither will I!"

I run around the edge of the table and hug my dad before turning to leave.

"James Bennet!" Mum stops my dad before he can leave with me. I swing the door open to find Mr Collins pacing the small hallway. My mum pushes past me, "Mr Collins please excuse us a minute more, she will go don't you worry, she will go!" She assures him. I shake my head and climb the stairs. "Elizabeth you come back here right now." Mums voice follows me up the stairs. I shut the bedroom door, relieved to find Jane must be elsewhere. Mum walks straight in, no concerns for my privacy. "Lizzie why are you set on humiliating this family?" _Me? I'm the humiliating one_. I open my mouth to say this when she catches me and with one look I promptly close it again. "You know my nerves can't take all this upset. You have no idea what you are throwing away do you?"

"A night out with Mr Collins hardly seems to be crucial to my life mother."

"Lizzie, if you stay with Mr Collins, think of your future. You could be just like me, a doctors' wife." Mum sits up proudly. I admit its sweet how she still feels this way after all these years with my dad, but I do not share her enthusiasm.

"Mum if you remember, it was never my dream to _the wife_. I wanted to be the doctor myself."

"And how did that work out for you?" she smiled overly sweetly smoothing down the bed cover.

"Mum! The point is it is not a priority of mine to get married. I'm twenty one!"

"Well it should be. Think of your poor father, he isn't getting any younger Elizabeth and what will we all do when he's gone? That pension isn't going to pay for the up keep of Longbourn and all of us as well. Since you all seem intent on following your father into a university education, how much do you think that costs for five daughters? I need to know you girls are ok, that you will be taken care of." Her voice croaks the last few words and her eyes water. I sigh. I know she means well.

I reach out and take her hand. "Mum, I can take care of myself. So can Jane and Mary. I'm not too sure about the other two but we will be here for them if needs be." She laughs. "And as for you and dad, you're not intending leaving us so soon are you?"

"No but-"

I interrupt. "Then let's put a stop to this silly talk mum. Stop getting your nerves in a state, we will all be fine." I put my arms around her and held her. "And we're all extremely grateful for everything you and dad do for us."

"How grateful?" She raises an eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes.

After further discussion it is agreed by all, that I _will_ accompany Mr Collins to the cinema, but only if Charlotte come's too, so it will be more a gathering of friends than an actual date. Poor Mr Collins, he can't read the signs. No matter what I say, he is _still_ interested. After the guilt trip from my mother I now find myself getting ready to 'accompany him into town.' Charlotte is more than happy to get out of the house and meet the famous new doctor. All the taxi journey into town Charlotte and Mr Collins chat back and forth about Meryton and the surgery. At one point I feel I'm intruding upon their date, but I shrug myself out of it, Charlotte isn't that desperate. The taxi pulls up outside of the cinema and I jump out, eager to free of my confines. Jump, trip and fall, into the strong arms and chest of "Mr Darcy!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: Mr Darcy**

"Mr Darcy?" she repeats, getting her footing in order so she can let go of my coat. She seems to be hanging onto it for dear life. She looks around and realises I am with Fitzwilliam. "Mr Fitzwilliam." He raises an eyebrow and tips his head at her in warning, " _Richard_ ," she smiles and her whole face lights up. "How are you? What are you…? Did you have a good Christmas?" she rushes. Why can't she be that comfortable with me? Rich explains we are in Hunsford visiting our aunt for Christmas. I still have my hands on her waist, for some reason I can't stand to let her go. The car door swings wider and a man climbs out. I have never seen him before, but I realise she is obviously with him. I immediately let go of her, shoving my hands in my pockets to prevent myself from touching her. I step back away from her and next to an amused Richard.

"Lizzie did I hear you say? … Mr Darcy! It _is_ you and Mr Fitzwilliam! What an honour, what a pleasure to meet the esteemed nephews of my wonderful patron Lady Catherine."

My eyes dart to Richard, who shrugs his shoulders slightly at me. Are we supposed to know this cretin? Does he works for us? 'Esteemed?' What did he say?

Lizzie has her eyes screwed shut, she looks utterly mortified by his little display of what cannot be considered anything other than 'ass-kissing.' Why did these things keep happening to her? Why did people associated with her, or related to her, keep embarrassing her like this in front of people? She must hate it. And what the hell is she doing with this loser? I turn to ask her but she is busy helping another young woman out of the taxi and paying the driver. What a gentleman. He abandons two ladies and then leaves them to pay the bill! I recognise the woman from the ceremony, she was in the same class as Lizzie. Charlotte something?

Charlotte and Lizzie hover behind, who I have gathered from a little eves dropping, is a Mr Collins. While Richard makes forced conversation with the incessant Mr Collins about Meryton and the surgery he would be running. I drop my eyes to the floor. I can't look at her, afraid my face will give away what I feel inside. What I can't stop feeling every moment I am with her. I risk a glance back up at her face and find my eyes locked with hers. She seems to smile but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. It is like she is afraid to acknowledge me or something. She still hates me for all the stuff with Charlie and her sister. I am trying my hardest to put it right, even now. I will never apologise for what I said. I told the truth, and I never lie. I would never lie to her. What I had said about Wickham was true also, a hell of a lot more truthful than whatever drivel he had spouted to her to get her on side. I wasn't about to lower myself to his standard and tell tales. If she wants to know what really happened, she will have to ask. And even then, it isn't my secret to tell. The only thing I want to beg for her forgiveness for, is that stupid comment I made to Caroline. The one I now know she had heard. Like I could actually prefer Caz to her. She is a goddess and Caroline an annoyance.

I suddenly remember my manners and her friends name and step forward. "Miss Lucas? I don't think we were properly introduced at the graduation day. I'm Nicholas Darcy. I hear you are working in Meryton." There that sounds genuine, like I'm really interested in hearing what Charlotte has to say. When really all I want is an excuse to engage Lizzie into conversation. It doesn't seem to be working she has her head down now too.

"Mr Darcy." Charlotte grins at Lizzie and then turns back to me. "Please call me Charlotte, Lizzie here has told me all about you." I drew in a breath hoping I don't gasp out loud. She talked about me, to her friends? I look away to avoid the awkwardness of the situation and notice Lizzie kick her friend in the back of the shin, I guess this maybe girl code for 'shut the hell up.' I resist the need to laugh out loud. I sadly realise I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Yet when I'm with her she makes me want to laugh all the time, even if sometimes I don't think it is her true intention to. "That is, about Rosings Park and your work." Charlotte corrects herself.

I look at Lizzie, she smiles again, this time those beautiful eyes sparkle, and I find myself smiling back like a demented fool. Richard breaks the uncomfortable silence. "Well I guess we had better let you guys get to your film." I can tell he has already had more than enough of Mr Collins. He turns to me and then to Lizzie. "Do you have any plans for New Years' Eve? Will you still be here that is?" he enquires. I try to look away and appear nonchalant, at the same time so eager to hear her answer I can't breathe. I know what Richard is getting at and I hope and pray she will give the right answer. "If you are, you and your friends would be more than welcome at my Aunts New Years' Eve party, most of the partners will be there. It's usually a grand affair, but after the old dear retires for the night, we have ourselves a proper party!" He rubs his hands together in glee his eyes shining. I risk a glance in her direction willing her to say yes. She catches my gaze and stares back for a fraction of a second as if in deliberation with herself. Without even consulting what plans the others may or may not have made, she is nodding and saying "thank you that would be fantastic. We'd love to come!"

Two days later, Aunt Catherine's Annual New Years' Eve party is in full swing. I make my way into the grand entrance hall, across the solid hardwood polished floor, dodging people as I go. The house is packed with work colleagues, friends, relations and some faces even I don't know. I come to a standstill at the bottom of the long winding staircase. I look up at the garland strung handrail and banister, polished within an inch if its life, by the crew of party planners and cleaners that have been here for the past two days getting the place fit for guests. The large gold guild mirror I'm after, is almost covered by the branches of the twelve foot Christmas tree. Decorated to perfection, it is the big feature that greets people as they flock through the doors into the house. I stand beside the tree breathing in the earthy scent of pine you can only get from a real - just been cut down and dragged from the forest- tree.

I step closer and gaze critically at my reflection hoping to catch any flaws. I look at my exposed neck, something I would never normally do in public. I never forgo a tie. However tonight, for some reason, it felt right to leave it off. It was not just that I didn't want to appear as I normally do at these things, like I had just stepped out of the office, largely due to the fact, I usually _had_ just stepped out of the office. No, tonight I had chosen my favourite sleek black Hugo Boss suit and crisp white shirt, the top button left open, for one reason only. Elizabeth. I hadn't failed to notice her reaction to seeing me that day in Charlie's kitchen. No tie and shirt rolled up to my elbows. I had done it at the time simply for ease of cooking and not wanting to dip my tie in the food I was preparing, but today I had done it on purpose. If I was going to attract a woman like Lizzie I had to change. No more stuck up pompous Mr Darcy, just Nick.

I take another glance in the mirror. Combing my fingers through my thick dark hair. Brushing it back from my forehead and letting go, it immediately falls back into place, the ton of expensive products I had applied earlier, doing their job to perfection. Without sounding obnoxious or vain, I know I am good looking. Call it luck or genes or what you like, but I had a handsome face, hours working out frustrations with a case in the gym, gave me a body to match. This did attract the opposite sex and with the wealth to go with it, I had had to be careful in the past who I became involved with. They could be in it for me or just the money. Unfortunately for me it was usually the latter. But with Lizzie it was different. It was like she _wasn't_ attracted to me _because_ of the money. This I found very intriguing. Very intriguing indeed.

I glance over my shoulder at the reflections in the mirror. People everywhere, but no Lizzie. I look down at my watch, its past nine. Where the hell is she? Has she decided not to come? Has she had a better offer? Wickham? No not Wickham, she wouldn't do that, I don't know why, I just know she wouldn't. She hates me for what I said but I could tell it had hit home. She hadn't had any more cosy lunches with him after all. Seeing her in the office the other day, knowing we were alone and unlikely to see each other for two weeks, I could hardly control myself. I wanted to rush to her and hold her and beg her to stay with me. What is happening to me?

I am pulled from my memory by a small hand sliding over my shoulder attached to a slender wrist, one look at the diamond bracelet adorning it and I know who it is. For a split second I had hoped it was Lizzie, but I know the moment I really feel the touch, it isn't her. The red head and porcelain face that drops into view on my shoulder confirms my fears, "Caroline." I try to keep the frustration from my voice.

"Naughty Nicholas, what are you doing sneaking off out here, wanting to play hide and seek?" She purrs at me. Christ she's drunk, that's all I need. It's the Christmas party all over again. Now I will have her draped on me all night, slurring her words and failing to get me into bed. It will be ten times worse tonight since we are all staying here and Charlie is still away. Note to self: lock the bedroom door. I look round for anyone who I can prise her off me and onto. Coming up with nothing.

"Caroline listen, let's get you a cup of coffee and a lay down ok?" I grab her hands, wrapping my arm around her waist trying to steer her towards the kitchen. She falls into me and wraps both her arms around my neck. Great, can this get any worse?

"Ooh Mr Darcy, so you want to take me for a lay down and … Eliza! What the hell are _you_ doing _here_?" I freeze, not daring to turn around. I shut my eyes tight. Just imagining what this must look like. Caroline wrapped around me, my arm around her. I turn around slowly, trying to disentangle myself from Caroline's clutches, but she won't give it up, she's enjoying this, I can tell. She has no idea how I feel about Lizzie, but she knows I like her and that is enough to piss her the hell off.

I finally get up the courage to look into Lizzie's face, and immediately wish I hadn't. The hurt on her face is apparent, but more than that; disappointment, disgust. I feel guilty and ashamed and I haven't even done anything, even if I had, we aren't together. Why do I feel the need to explain? "Elizabeth, Charlotte, Doctor Collins, welcome to Lady Catherine's annual New Years' Eve party. Let me take your coats and show you around." I can't stop talking, Caroline's arms finally leave my neck and I am able to retrieve their coats and greet our guests. Caroline is still staring at Lizzie, eyes narrowed, mouth twisted like she has a bad taste in her mouth. I swear Lizzie has tears in her eyes. Don't cry Lizzie, please. I can't bare it. I physically step between them trying to ease the tension. Richard then appears like superman, here to save me from myself.

"Lizzie! So glad you could make it, come here I want to introduce you properly to Lady Catherine. Charlotte you too, you too!" Richard leads them from the hallway, from me. Doctor Collins is in tow rapidly muttering about meeting Lady Catherine once before and what a supreme something she was. I take a breath in, hands on my hips, thinking what the hell I can do to rectify this situation. First things first, get rid of Caroline and keep her away from Lizzie. Then rescue Lizzie from Aunt Catherine.

"Caroline, come on let's get you that coffee." I gently, but forcibly, take her elbow leading her into the kitchen. She teeters on her sky scraper heels.

"Nick, what is she doing here? She's a bloody secretary! Don't tell me Richard invited her, she's not supposed to be here." Caroline is in danger of taking liberties with her closeness of our family. She isn't related, it is none of her business who Richard or I invite and she should treat them courteously as a result. "She's so far down the food chain she's lucky to get scraps. She should not be here, with us, she's not _our_ people. For Christ's sake, Richards introducing her to your aunt! Has he lost his mind? You may as well pull in the gardener and the maid and let them have a dance." She flicks back her perfectly styled hair, and despite her super model looks, to me, in this moment, she never looked uglier. She is my best friends sister and like a sister to me, so I bite my tongue resisting the urge to tell her exactly what I thought of 'our people,' if our people were like her. "Nick? Nick, are you listening to me? I said, surely seeing Eliza now must have put rest to that silly notion you once had. That she was –what was it you said- a distraction?"

"Yes well that was when I first knew her. For a long time now I have considered her one of the most attractive women I have ever met." Caroline's jaw drops open so low it's comical. I end our little talk by telling her to pull herself together and sober up before Lady Catherine sees her and leave the kitchen eager to find Lizzie.

I hear her laugh before I find her. She is in the formal parlour with Richard and my aunt. Collins and Charlotte seem to have disappeared into the crowd. I push my shoulders back, stand up straight and walk confidently towards them. Richard sees me first. Lizzie has her back to me, apparently laughing at something he has said. Again I feel a peak of jealously, he makes her laugh, I want to make her laugh. "Nick! Over here!" I see Lizzie's whole body tense and when I approach she crosses her arms across her chest and looks at the floor. I'm no expert on body language, but even I could tell she isn't happy I am there. I feel a rush of pain flood my body, she doesn't want to see me. No. She _had_. She had come, that was enough. It was Caroline. That little display has put her guard up again, well now I'm going to break it down.

I smile and stand between her and Richard, facing Aunt Catherine. My aunt is eyeing Lizzie and scowling at her. I turn to drink some champagne, while really drinking in Lizzie. She looks so beautiful. Her long dark hair cascading in long waves down her back, like it was that evening in the conference room, not up like at work. I ache to touch it. I can smell her coconut shampoo. My new favourite scent. She wears a tasteful black dress. The neck is high on her collarbone and the sleeves fall just below her shoulders. The skirt skims her knees. Her black stilettos are just high enough to make her walk differently - straighter - like women do, but not so high, she is having to steady herself at every step. A plain silver bracelet graces her delicate wrist and a matching necklace with a simple solitaire hangs at her throat. Solitaire studs are in her ears. It is all simple and delicate and so Elizabeth. She doesn't need anything showy or gaudy, she is exquisite just as she is.

She takes my breath away.

My head and my heart are in constant battle. My heart wants nothing more than to sweep her in my arms and tell her how much she means to me, that I can't stop thinking about her, that all I can see when I close my eyes is her beautiful face. That when I sleep at night –if I sleep at all- I dream of her, of kissing her luscious full lips. When I wake I can't wait to get to work just so I can catch a glimpse of her. If I manage to join in conversation with her, it is the highlight of my day. How seeing how hurt she was at the hands of Caroline has made my blood boil. That I want her to meet my sister. How I want to stake my claim right now in front everyone I know and confess to them all how I want her in my life. Possibly forever. As utterly terrifying as that notion is, the feeling it fills me with is something even more powerful.

The only thing stopping me it seems, is me. My head is the reigning champion at the moment, although its winning title is hanging by a thread. It alone had stopped me. I know in my head it is wrong. We aren't to be. I know the damage it would inflict on everyone if I chose to give up everything and just be with her. To be happy. I can never be happy. I am Nicholas Darcy: heir to the Pemberley fortune and future director of Rosings Park. Titles I would trade in an instant for the one I really coveted: partner to Elizabeth Bennet. Who knows? Maybe even something more one day. I know then I will always be alone. If I can't be with Lizzie, no one would ever come close. I may be only twenty-eight, but I know enough that I will never meet another like her. Caroline immediately comes to mind but I just as quickly dismiss her. She is like a sister to me and I love her dearly, but I could never be in love with her, her personality alone repulses me. I have responsibilities and I have to put them first. There are too many people I would let down and disappoint by me being with Elizabeth. I would do what was expected of me. What I should do. What I always did.

The music has started up and couples are taking to the make shift dance floor. I look at her in awe, she is so natural. Normally when people met Catherine, they behaved like Mr Collins, faltering instantly, but Elizabeth holds her own, answering every question she is asked. I hadn't heard any of it, because all I can hear are the voices in my own head shouting 'why the hell aren't you asking her to dance?' I had missed out at the Christmas Party, I had been so close to asking her and then the fiasco with her sister Lydia had put stop to all of that. I am sure after all that was said that night she will refuse point blank, but I can't not ask her, knowing I could regret the missed opportunity forever. I have resounded myself to the fact there is no future for us. Why shouldn't I be allowed one night to bask in her company and pretend like it could all work out? Aunt Catherine has finally come up for air, so I seize my chance and open my mouth to ask her, but Lizzie has other plans.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: Lizzie**

He's looking at me, I know he is, he makes out he's getting another drink but I can feel his eyes burning into me as he looks me up and down. I hated him the moment I walked through those big doors into that ridiculously grand hallway. Why then do I feel myself blushing at the thought of him looking at me? Why am I here? Why do I put myself through this? I don't want to be here, Charlotte didn't want to be here- hey where was Charlotte? I glance round, wanting to locate her and save her from Mr Collins, but Lady Catherine has started another rant and I am going to be forced to listen. She's going on about how beautiful Miss Bingley looks tonight – lovely. What a _lovely_ topic for us to talk about. Um Darcy care to comment? I look at him as I silently ask him the questions in my head. He's looking anywhere than at me. Oh he is so difficult to read. I feel like I am plucking at flowers, 'he likes me, he likes me not.' Which would it be today? Lady Catherine has paused for a moment seemingly to draw breath before the next lecture, so I decide to get my two-penneth in, goaded on by the amount of champagne I have consumed in a very short amount of time.

"It's a pity Charlie ... I'm sorry, _Mr Bingley_ couldn't be here tonight. I would have liked to see him again, I didn't get chance to say goodbye before he left. I don't think many people did."

Darcy's head shoots up, he knows what I am getting at. He looks guilty. Well Good.

"Oh yes Eliza, Caroline mentioned Charles had had to play host to one of your sisters I believe, when she turned up on his doorstep ill." She announces to our group. I'm seething inside, I don't know who I'm madder at, her or ' _Green Eyes_ '. I'm about to open my mouth and put her straight when Darcy speaks.

"Aunt Catherine, it wasn't quite like that. Elizabeth's elder sister Jane had been visiting Charles, and whilst there, fell ill. He felt it was his responsibility to take care of her and he did. _Lizzie_ visited her and brought her a change of clothes etc." He states. I close my open mouth and take stock of what I have just witnessed. He had stuck up for me, for Jane, told his aunt what had happened, that she had heard wrong. And, that my name is Lizzie and not eff'ing Eliza! I smile at him to thank him, I can't help it. He smiles back. For a moment it's just him and me. The whole room seems to fall away before my eyes.

"So this sister Jane, she is your eldest sister?" Lady Catherine is eyeing me suspiciously, what am I walking into now?

"Yes milady, I have five sisters. Jane is my eldest, I am second oldest."

"Five! Five girls! Well I feel sorry for your parents I must say. So which sister was the one who made a show of herself at the Rosings Christmas Party?" _And there it is._

"I must apologise for that Lady Catherine. It was my younger sister Lydia, she isn't usually like that." I lie. "She had been visiting a friend and had a little to drink, she was staying with me so she wanted me to take her home."

"So is she your middle sister then?"

"No milady, she is my youngest, Lydia is fifteen." No sense in lying, she probably knows everything from ' _Green Eyes'_ anyway!

"Fifteen! Fifteen and out drinking! Well, I never heard anything like it. And your parents expect you to take responsibility of her? How old are _you_ Miss Bennet?" Richard and Darcy clear their throats as if to remind their aunt of their presence, no matter what the year, it's still considered bad manners to ask a lady her age. "Come now Miss Bennet you are graduate, you cannot be more than twenty two surely?"

"No Lady Catherine, I am twenty one." I drop my head trying to get my thoughts straight in my head, she has insulted me - I am not stupid. She has insulted my parents, Christ my whole family. What sort of comeback could I give that won't result in me - at worse being arrested and at best being sacked? I stand dumbstruck wishing the floor would swallow me up. When Darcy breaks the silence once again.

"Miss Bennet, would you like to dance?" He holds his hand out, a look of hope in his eyes. Is he crazy? After that speech, Lady Catherine is obviously dismissing my whole family as lower than low, I'm a social leper not to be touched, let alone danced with, and here he is asking me. I take his hand. The moment our fingers touch something shoots through me too big to explain or put into words. It is like the night at my flat, like nothing I have ever felt before, and at the same time I never felt more comfortable in my life then when my hand is in his. He leads us to the dance floor not speaking.

As soon as we are alone he blurts out, "I'm sorry!" _He's sorry, whatever for?_

"For your aunt? You don't have to apologise for someone else's behaviour." I assure him.

"No I mean for the whole Charlie and Jane situation. I know it has upset a lot of people and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a great deal more, that _does_ involve other people, my aunt and Caroline especially. But you're right, it's not my job to apologise for them. Just know I'm not them."

I look up at him, not quite believing my ears. Nicholas Darcy has not only admitted he is wrong and apologised, but he 'isn't them' what does that mean? The song has finished but he doesn't let me go, instead he moves his hand from my waist to the small of my back bringing us closer together and dancing seamlessly into the next song. I am so shocked by this unspoken admission, I can't speak either. So we just dance in silence through the next song and the next one after that. By song number four, we have relaxed, neither of us tense, it is peculiar how we seem to fit together. Like we have been dancing like this for years. We just seem to fit. Except we don't of course. We are so far apart it's laughable.

"What are you doing in March?" he asks quietly. I tear my eyes away from his chest and up to his.

"Hmm? March?"

"Yes I noticed on the holiday planner you have three weeks off, what are your plans, if you don't mind me asking?" _He wants to know about my holidays?_

"Oh no, yes, no sorry, March yes. It's nothing exciting to be honest. I've been doing it since I was a little girl. My favourite aunt and uncle - the Gardner's, who own the flat I'm staying in - they take me with them on a touring holiday. We've done the Lakes, the coasts, the Yorkshire moors. This year we're heading to Derbyshire." He smiles and brings me, if possible, closer still. "Derbyshire, really?" Before I can press the matter further or ask him if he has any holiday plans, we are interrupted by a loud crash of a cymbal.

"Ladies and Gentlemen please gather outside as we countdown to midnight and watch the fireworks! It's one minute to midnight!" The master of ceremonies announces.

There is a sudden excited frenzy of people rushing to get outside. Darcy slowly lets go of me lowering my hands. "I'd better go see if I can find my aunt. She likes to watch the fireworks before going to bed." He says softly.

"Ok. Thank you for the dance." My voice trails after him.

He's gone, a head bobbing above the crowd. Seriously, he's just left me at midnight on New Years' Eve? Am I that bad he didn't want to kiss me? _Did I want him to kiss me?_ Before I can dwell on it further, Charlotte catches my hand and drags me outside. The fireworks are spectacular and when the canon finally fires signalling the end of one year and the start of the next, Charlotte and I hug it out. As I break away from her embrace I see the lonely figure of Mr Darcy leaning against one of the concrete pillars that flanked the back doors. His eyes lock with mine and he nods a greeting at me before lowering his head and heading indoors. Suddenly I realise, he hadn't kissed me, no, but he hadn't kissed anyone else either. He had been here watching me.

Richard wasn't kidding when he said that's when the real party started. It is unbelievable. Too much for us village girls. An hour in and we are ready for home. I look for Mr Darcy to say goodbye, but Richard tells me he has gone to bed early. We drag Mr Collins away from some snobby types he's schmoozing. The taxi ride home is thankfully short. I gaze out the window and for some reason find a tear escaping and sliding down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly before it is noticed. I don't know why I'm crying- yeah I do- I am falling for my boss. Falling hard.

I get home and sneak into the room I shared with Jane, back to sharing again for the holidays. I start up my laptop intending to catch up with my social media while I am home, seeing if any Uni pals want to meet up. As I am getting ready for bed, taking off my make-up and jewellery, I notice I have an email waiting. I click on the inbox and my finger freezes, hovering over the open button. _Sender Nicholas Darcy._ I glance at Jane sleeping peacefully. I have to know what it says, what could it possibly say? It is his private email address to mine, how did he even know that? Stalker? I giggle. Oh wait, it was on my application form. Of course it was. Stalker. I shake my head. I'm going crazy!

I curl up in bed under my familiar duvet and click 'open.'

 _Elizabeth,_

 _I apologise, again, for my attitude tonight and my abrupt departure, I would have liked nothing more than to be with you at the stroke of midnight and share all that tradition entails, but I felt it was inappropriate with my Aunt and the rest of the firm present. Please forgive me._

 _I know you have doubts where I am concerned. You are not sure of my true character. I would like to put your mind at rest on a couple of points. Hopefully we can then move forward. As friends_.

 _Firstly, my hand in the braking down of the relationship between your sister Jane and Charles Bingley. I will be completely honest with you here, you may not like it, and want to scream in my face how wrong I am, but remember this is my opinion forged from what I have witnessed over the past few months, since they met. From the first day Charlie saw your sister at that ceremony, he was transfixed, obsessed with everything about her. As they begin to see each other sociably and the friendship deepened into something more. He confessed to me he was falling in love with your sister, but was afraid she did not feel the same. I took it upon myself to rectify this, I watched your sister when they were together and apart to see if I could recognise the same feelings I knew were in Charlie. I'm afraid I did not._

'Did not' She is SHY! I say out loud cursing at the screen on my laptop wishing it was his face. Jane stirs and I curl up again trying to stay quiet.

 _I saw them together on quite a few occasions before you even discovered their relationship - another reason I did not believe her feelings to be true - how could a sister not tell the other about a relationship supposedly so important to her? To me the answer was, it wasn't. She didn't bother telling you as she didn't see it lasting. Before you come round here all guns blazing, I'll admit here in writing - or typing - I was wrong. I have seen and heard since how miserable they both are apart, and have realised that although Jane kept her feelings guarded and to herself, it doesn't mean she didn't have them. Believe me, I understand this now completely._

 _I cannot apologise enough for the distress I have caused everyone in this matter. I spoke to Charlie two days after our discussion the night of the Christmas party, and he is already making plans to come back home. I can only hope those feelings remain and they can re kindle what had been lost because of me and my persuasive advice._

I look at Jane again beaming, 'he's coming back, Jane, Charlie's coming back to you!' Nasty _'Green Eyes'_ email had all been a lie, either that or she didn't know the truth. My smile broadens when I imagine her face when Charlie arrives back home, no doubt eager to see Jane.

 _Now moving onto the second issue I would like to get straight. Mr Wickham. This is a bit trickier to put into words, but I will try to start at the beginning. You have to understand when I showed up at your flat that night of the party, my intention was not to lecture you, or to tell you who you could or couldn't see. I wanted to save you from being used. I should have told you the truth from the beginning but it wasn't my secret to tell. I have since contacted the person who owns it and they have given me permission to share the details with you._

I thought of that self-assured Mr Darcy he presents to the rest of the world and I realise that isn't the real him. Not even close. He isn't so self-obsessed that he doesn't care. He cares too much. He had cared for his friend.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Mr Darcy**

I sit back from my laptop looking at the screen in front of me. If she didn't hate me before this, she would now. A quick phone call to Georgiana earlier had made this all possible. She is already aware of my situation with Lizzie, she hadn't only given me her blessing, but was eager to meet her and had bravely encouraged me to tell her the truth concerning Wickham. Georgiana is away at boarding school now, safe. I don't need to worry about her. I still do. Always. Although now, I feel the need to protect someone else too. A need almost as great as the one for my sister. So back to my email.

Before I get the chance confess, I hear a car pull up outside, the party is still going on downstairs so I wonder who it could be. A taxi waited outside, I stand behind the curtain and watch Mr Collins and Charlotte make their way out and into the waiting car. I'm about to sit back down when Richard comes out holding Lizzie by the arm. He says something to her and she smiles, but it is a sad smile and as she climbs into the car, I know immediately I am doing the right thing. So I set to work.

 _Now moving onto the second issue I would like to get straight. Mr Wickham. This is a bit trickier to put into words, but I will try to start at the beginning. You have to understand when I showed up at your flat that night, my intention was not to lecture you or to tell you who you could or couldn't see. I wanted to save you from being used. I should have told you the truth from the beginning, but it wasn't my secret to tell. I have since contacted the person who owns it and they have given me permission to share the details with you._

I reach into my pocket and take out my wallet opening it to the picture of Georgiana. She had been through so much and had miraculously come out the other side stronger. Lately it seemed she was looking after me more than the other way around. She is so eager to see me happy and settled. When I first told her about the annoying Miss Bennet I had encountered she got a knowing look about her and was adamant she learn more about her. I had kept her in the loop with everything that had been happening at Rosings. The more I told her about Elizabeth, the less annoyed I sounded and the more enthralled. Georgiana hadn't asked me out right about my feelings for Lizzie she never would, she is patient and would let me tell her in my own time, that had made tonight's decision so hard. Having to ask her to disclose personal details of a traumatic experience we have both worked so hard for her to forget, for the benefit of someone who I have never admitting having real feelings for was difficult. The fact that Georgie had been so willing when she discovered the real reason for me wanting to share her private history, is just another example of how kind and good my sister is. Her only wish in exchange for full disclosure was that one day she should get to meet Lizzie for herself. I run my thumb over her smiling face and feel bad that I had cheated her, it was no price to pay, for that was one of my strongest wishes too. I stretch out my fingers and begin typing once more.

 _Wickham and I met as children through our Fathers working together and a strong friendship progressed. In time his parents passed away. Alive they had been close friends of my mother and father. Despite any difference in social class, they got on well. We were close, like brothers. When my mother passed away, closer still. My father took George under his wing and treated him like a son, like me, He was really the brother I had never had. We were both sent off to university and later law school, both financed by my father. Just after I passed the bar, my own father died. Wickham was left an annual allowance of twenty thousand pounds by my father. This was to be in addition to the salary he would earning at Rosings as a junior partner. However, it seemed this wasn't enough._

 _My 'brother,' changed overnight. He demanded a senior partnership, I explained this was not possible. That Lady Catherine alone had that power. He then requested the whole of his allowance up front at once. A sum of over a million pounds. Despite this being against my father's wishes, I paid it him. It was quickly spent, on poor investments, gambling and women. He came back for more and I refused to give it. Thus dissolving what was left of our friendship. Never the less, he still came to Rosings as a junior partner and I believed that was that._

 _About six months later I returned home early one evening to find my baby sister, Georgiana, going through my fathers - my - study, looking for something. She was taken by surprise at my unexpected presence and blurted out she was looking for her passport and bank account information. When I pressed her for a reason why, she broke down and told me the story of how Wickham and her had been secretly seeing each other for a while now. They were lovers. She had gotten pregnant and he was taking her away to marry her. They would have nothing to live on as Wickham would have to leave Rosings, so they were to use her inheritance. She was fifteen._

 _I immediately took charge, assuring Georgiana that she was going nowhere and that I would take care of her, and if she chose to go ahead with the pregnancy, the baby too. Above all it would be her choice, she would not be forced into a decision either way. I contacted Wickham and told him of Georgiana confession, that I knew everything. I told him that if he didn't stay away I would be contacting the police. She was under age and pregnant. He never came for her, and we didn't see him again for a long time. Georgiana was devastated at the shame she had brought on our family. So much so that… she lost the baby. We took it as a sign, a fresh start. After recovering at Pemberley - our family home, she went to a boarding school on the coast where she is currently about to sit her A levels before moving on to University. I placed her out of his clutches, where I could keep an eye on her without being so over bearing it prevented her from a having a normal life._

 _As for Mr Wickham, I can imagine what you are thinking. Why is he walking around bold as brass at Rosings Park instead of rotting in a police cell somewhere? Well Lady Catherine doesn't like scandal of any kind, especially where her beloved Rosings Park is concerned. The family knew of the relationship. Wickham informed Lady Catherine himself and told her he wished to remain at Rosings. When pressured Georgiana confessed she wouldn't go to the police as the relationship had be consensual. Catherine wouldn't fire him for fear of a wrongful dismissal suit. So here he remains. He stays out of my way, I stay out of his. He doesn't know where Georgiana is, nor has he ever tried to find her. She has finally got her life back._

 _I realise all this is only my side of the story and you could choose to believe it or not. Richard Fitzwilliam as co guardian to Georgiana, was witness to most of it, except the knowledge of the baby, only myself and Georgiana knew of its existence, and now you. If pushed Georgiana would confirm my story. I hope in my heart you wouldn't need to, but I'd understand if you did. I shall be absent from the office over the next few weeks, this is no fault of yours or anything to do with me writing this email. I have some business to attend to, and then Georgiana will return home from school and I wish to spend time with her. I do hope we remain, or become friends, Lizzie. Especially as now it seems our paths are fated to meet, your sister and my best friend together after all. It would be better for all if we can at least be civil to each other._

I end the email, read it through once and hit send before I can change my mind. I add a read receipt so I would know the second she read it. I am in the bathroom preparing for bed when I hear the laptop chime. She had read it, or is reading it. I suddenly feel a weight I didn't know I had been carrying, lift from my shoulders. Thanks to my baby sister, Lizzie will finally know the truth about Wickham and she will be able to keep away from him.

I don't hear back from her. I hadn't expected to. The next day I leave my Aunts and head back to my penthouse in the city ready for a new year and hopefully a new start. Lizzie is always at the front of my mind but I couldn't afford to rush this. I need to give her the space to process what I had told her and then to react. The day Charlie came home I had expected her to confront me and find myself overwhelmingly grateful when she doesn't. In truth I didn't know if I was ready to face her just yet. The next three months passed exactly as planned. Once a break in the big case comes, I start planning my next course of action. As previously thought, I don't see much of Lizzie in the office. I stay on our floor for the majority. The odd smile in passing or a nod in a meeting. I still don't want to talk to her, not yet, not until I know what I'm going to do. Caroline has backed off too finally. Charlie's return seemed to not go down too well with her. The fact I was part of the reconciliation, that happened almost immediately between him and Jane, didn't place me in good stead. I have never been more relived. Charlie has never looked happier, everything is going well. I am proud to have been part of that. Lizzie seems brighter too. I often catch her sharing a coffee with Charlie, laughing together, its strange how there is no feeling of jealousy when I see them. Like I have already accepted them as brother and sister - no more.

Finally March comes and with it the time to put my plans into action. Lizzie had left yesterday, she is to meet her aunt and uncle today at her flat and travel with them to Derbyshire tomorrow. I had learnt most of this from Charlie, my unknowing spy. I even have the name of the village where they would be staying first. I had been concerned he may let slip my interest in the place but thankfully it didn't come up. I am not stalking her - not like that anyway. It just so happens that one of the most beautiful estates in Derbyshire is Pemberley - my family home. I now share it with Georgiana, and this is where we would be staying when she returns from school next week. However, in the meantime, if I happen to bump into Elizabeth and her party while out and about - who knows?

My plan works perfectly. Three days after I arrive at Pemberley I am out in the village looking for Elizabeth when I see her across the street. She's with her aunt looking at a display in a shop window. I can't help myself. I cross the road already thinking of ten different reasons for why I would be here. In the end it is her who literally bumps into me. She looks at me with such shock, like I am the last person in the world she expects to see.

"Mr Darcy! W-what are you doing here?" She takes a step back looking wildly around her as if for an explanation of my appearance.

"Miss Bennet. What a pleasure it is to bump into you here." I say. She narrows her eyes scowling at me. Time to try and ease the tension. "Funny story." I begin, trying to smile innocently. "I may or may not have omitted to tell you that I do in fact live in Derbyshire and spend most of my free time here. Especially when my sister is home from school." I wait with baited breath ready for her reaction. She stares at me a moment more and then shakes her head. I swear I catch a smile. I gesture towards her aunt. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" Lizzie physically jumps as if suddenly aware of her aunt's presence.

"Yes of course. Mr Darcy this is my aunt Mrs Gardner. Her and my Uncle own the flat I'm staying in. Aunty this is Mr Darcy, he is one of the senior partners at Rosings. Lady Catherine's nephew." I shake hands with her aunt.

"Please call me Nick. So are you all enjoying Derbyshire?"

Her aunt smiles back at me and her eyes light up at the mention of Derbyshire. "Oh yes _Nick_ , it's just how I remembered it. I lived here before I married. In a little village called Lambton. I don't know if know it?"

"Lambton yes I do indeed! I spent a lot of my youth having to be rescued from a tall tree that stands on the green there." I chuckle genuinely at the memory. Mrs Gardner laughs too.

"Yes I know the one. Where then are you from Mr Darcy?" she enquires kindly. I shuffle my feet uncomfortably. I never felt so awkward explaining my wealth.

"Pemberley Mrs Gardner. My Father's estate of Pemberley passed to my sister and me upon his death. Although I am not there as often as I wish." The look of recognition draws on her face, she knows the estate, knows who I am.

"Pemberley! Yes I … I know it well." She glances at a bemused Lizzie. "It is a beautiful place. I haven't seen it since I was much younger." She gushes. Suddenly an idea strikes me.

"You must come, come and see the house. Its open for visitors during the day, but you can come by one evening for dinner and have a proper look round, a behind the scenes tour if you will?" I offer. Elizabeth is stood with her mouth open, eyes wide. She obviously has no idea quite how big an estate Pemberley is. We have open days for the public to help fund the running costs of the estate. But the majority of the house is off limits to the public so we can still enjoy our home. I could think of nothing I would like more than to have Lizzie in my home. I look directly at her, "please?"

She looks at her aunt who is nodding eagerly, "yes," she stutters before straightening her back and speaking more clearly. "That is, yes Mr Darcy we would be delighted to join you for dinner at Pemberley." She breathes out and then smiles.

"Great! Well how about tomorrow evening?" I try not to sound too desperate. Lizzie nods. "And Elizabeth, we're not in the office now, please call me Nick." I hold my breath awaiting her acceptance of our new informal arrangement.

She smiles again and holds out her hand. "Nick, pleased to meet you, I'm Lizzie." She had never actually told me I could call her Lizzie before now, although I referred to her as much in my own mind and to Georgiana I had never actually had the pleasure of being that _intimate_ with her. I take her hand in mine and there is that feeling all over again like it belongs there. I walk away from them barely controlling my urge to jump in the air and shout 'Yes!'

Before I know it, it is tomorrow evening. I have made sure the house appears stunning while still holding on to a homely feel. I don't want her to be too intimidated. The bell rings and so it begins. I am introduced to Mr Edward Gardner and take an instant liking to him. We chat about the estate and different places they are due to visit. All the while Lizzie is wandering round taking in every part of the house. I can't tell if she likes it or not, she is giving nothing away. After dinner my guests retire to the library while I go to arrange drinks. A commotion coming from the hallway brings me from the kitchen. Georgiana has obviously arrived early. She is stood in the hallway surrounded by bags, apparently looking for change for the taxi driver, while Lizzie rifles through her own purse looking for money. They are both laughing. I hang back just observing the scene before me. The women who mean most to me, finally meeting.

"Oh Lizzie, I so sorry to have met you like this, it was not what I intended, what must you think of me? Goodness knows what the driver must have thought of me asking to be brought to a grand estate like Pemberley and then having no money for the fare! I'm such a dizzy blonde, sometimes it scares me how I get from one place to another." Georgiana is rambling, a family trait it would seem especially when we are nervous, especially where Lizzie is concerned. Lizzie hands her some money and Georgie goes out to pay the driver. She's smiling when Georgiana returns. "So Lizzie, what do you think of the old place then?" My sister asks. I hold my breath, this is it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: Lizzie**

I look around me. _What did I think of this 'old place?'_

"It's, um, definitely not what I expected." I gaze, awestruck by the sheer magnificence of the house, taken aback by the fact, not only is it huge, but it still seems like a family home. Georgiana is frowning, I think my choice of words has left her disheartened, and that was not my intention. "It's so much more. Stunning. Amazing. Beautiful. I truly don't think there are enough words in the English language to describe the beauty of this place." I answer honestly. Her eyes light up immediately, and she follows my gaze, looking around admiringly. She is obviously proud of and loves her home dearly. I don't blame her. "And the grounds! I don't know how you ever come inside. I should be outside walking all day long if I lived here." I laugh. Georgiana smiles. She is beautiful in an under stated way, but I could see how she could catch the eye. Her long blonde hair is piled up on her head in a messy bun, a few strands breaking free, probably from the journey. She is slim, wearing jeans and a long sleeved black fitted shirt. Trainers on her feet. She is a little over five feet. She seems so fragile and petite I can tell why Darcy feels the need to protect her. Unlike Lydia who is so forward and mature, Georgiana still has an innocence that not even an affair with Wickham could take away.

"Georgie! What are you doing here so early? You know I would have picked you up from the station, why on earth didn't you call?" Darcy rushes forward and embraces his sister. I turn to go back into the library and give them some privacy when Georgina catches my hand.

"Oh no Lizzie, please don't go anywhere." She turns back to her big brother. "She just saved me from being absolutely mortified Nick. I can't believe I didn't have any money on me for the taxi. I totally forgot." He opens his mouth to speak but she ignores him. "I know, I know, I should have called. To be honest when you said she was coming tonight couldn't get here fast enough, I just had to see her and meet her."

I can't believe what I am hearing, why is she so eager to meet me? I manage a smile. "Well I'm very pleased to meet you too Georgiana. Please let me introduce you to my aunt and uncle."

The evening passes quickly, with Georgiana filling us in amusing stories from her term at school and intimate family memories of Nick when he was younger. To see him laid back in his home with his family is a revelation. He is a different person; attentive, friendly, warm, funny. Everything I would have said he wasn't. I find myself falling even more for him. Before I want it to, the evening comes to an end. We have to return to our hotel. Georgiana hugs me and promises to text me in the morning, we had exchanged numbers and email addresses earlier, she is determined we shall be friends. We will be here for the next two weeks after all.

She leads my aunt and uncle outside with her to await the taxi and I am left alone with Nick. Alone. "Thank you, for this evening; we have all had a wonderful time." I bite my lip. "You were right, we can be friends outside of work it would seem." A wide smile lights up his entire face and I feel warm inside that I put it there.

"Yes it would seem so. And Pemberley…does it…does it meet your approval?" He seems nervous, none of his normal self-confidence present.

I look around me once again at the landscaped garden and sweeping drive. Twinkling lights guide the way out onto the road. Before turning back to the man in front of me. "Very much." I whisper. My aunts' voice calls me over and we are on our way. I turn around in my seat and look out of the back window. He is still there, standing on the steps staring after us.

"Well I don't know what you were talking about Lizzie, Mr Darcy, _Nick_ , seems very nice to me and not at all stuffy or arrogant." My Uncle declares.

"I know." I admit. His sudden turn-around in personality puzzles me. "I don't know what could have brought about this change in him." I sit back looking out of the window at the passing scenery. _Why has he changed so much?_

"Do you really not know?" I look at my aunt to find her looking down at me like it is the most plain thing in the world, but I don't have a clue what she is on about.

The next day I leave my aunt and uncle in the restaurant having breakfast while I go out for a walk. I love walking, but never get the chance now with working. I am determined to explore this wonderful scenery. I pull down my beanie hat over my messy hair, even though it is spring, it is still chilly. Zipping up my body warmer over my hoodie I set off. I haven't gone more than ten feet when I bump straight into "Nick!"

"Lizzie!" His hands are on my waist holding me steady. I look down at them and he mistakenly takes it as a cue to let go. His hands dropping to his sides. "We do seem to keep doing this don't we?" He pants, removing the earphones I hadn't even noticed until now, from his ears.

"Well this is my hotel, I'm supposed to be here, why are you here?" It comes out a lot snappier than I had intentioned, he looks hurt. I try to apologise, "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I'm just off for a ramble about. Were you wanting me or …?"

"I'm here to see your uncle, he mentioned last night something about wanting to go fishing but not having a licence, I just want to tell him he is welcome to use the lake at Pemberley." _He has an effing lake!_ Of course he does. God he is so out of my league. I don't know what I was thinking last night, imagining we can be _friends_. "I've arranged it with the ground staff and I have a pass for him and your aunt to use the house and grounds while they are here." He pauses. "You too, if you want."

"That's lovely thanks," It really is. "They will love that. They are just in the dining room finishing off their breakfast if you want to go and give it to them." I start to walk on when he stops me.

"Will you wait? Just while I run these in, I'd like to go with you if that's ok? I'm a good tour guide, I've lived here all my life." He grins somewhat awkwardly.

I really wanted some time alone to discover and get lost, but looking into his gorgeous eyes I find myself nodding and sitting on the bench outside the hotel waiting for him. He is out again within a few minutes. I watch him as his walks towards me. He isn't in a suit, and I'm not sure if I like it or not. He's wearing hiking boots, jeans, grey jacket and beanie hat. You would have no idea he is a millionaire business man. The jacket isn't a brand, the jeans aren't designer; he just looks like a normal man. An incredible hot, muscled, gorgeous man. He takes off leading the way, explaining what is what and where. How long things have been there and what was there before. I love listening to his voice. It's warm and velvet like hot chocolate.

Before I know it we have spent the whole morning together and my stomach is growling, loud it would seem. Darcy turns to me chuckling, "hungry?"

"Starving! You've warn me out. And that's saying something, I can walk miles."

"Here, there's a little pub down this road that does a great lunch. We can have a drink, rest a bit and have a chat." He suggests. I like the sound of that.

The Rose and Crown is lovely, it reminds me of the pubs we have in Meryton. All dark wood beams and low ceilings. Horse brasses decorating the walls, and pewter tankards hang from the bar. We find a booth tucked away in a corner near a roaring fireplace. Nick sits across from me. He takes off his hat and his thick dark hair springs out at all angles, it makes me smile, not seeing him perfectly made up. I pull mine off knowing my hair must look just as bad. I run my fingers through it hopelessly trying to transform it into some kind of style. We are both pink cheeked from our walk. Nick surprises me by ordering a pint, for some reason I didn't see him as a beer drinking guy, I order a glass of wine. We choose our food and sit back for a chat.

"So are you still enjoying Rosings?" He asks smiling, then he adds more seriously "is everyone being nice to you?"

I know who he is talking about and that he is probably referring to the time he found me crying in the stock cupboard. "Yes thank you I love it. I feel like I have really settled in. How about you, any big cases you're working on at the moment? I mean I know you can't share details but ..."

He takes a long drink of his pint and sits back relaxed. "No my last case finished a couple of weeks ago. I'm on a bit of a wind down now until the next one starts. We'll need some extra help on board if you are interested?" His eyes hold hope.

I pulled a face. "Us working together? Do you think we'd be able to handle that?" I'm joking but he looks like he hasn't taken it that way. His face falls and he looks down running his thumb nail along the edge of the table. Without thinking I reach forward and squeeze his hand. "I was only joking. I meant that we're getting on so well, maybe we'd be tipping the boat."

He looks down at my hand on his and smiles, relieved. "I think we could manage. I'd like to get to know you a little better and see what you can do."

Before I can ask him what he really means, our food is delivered. With a full tummy and another glass of wine in my hand, I am feeling more relaxed than I have in a very long time.

"Thank you, by the way, for your help with Jane and Charlie." I had been meaning to tell him so since I got the email. I won't mention the Wickham business. But I wanted to make sure I thanked him for Jane's happiness.

"You shouldn't thank me," his eyes stray from mine searching the pub. I remain silent patiently waiting for him to come back to me. He does within a few seconds. "I'm the one who orchestrated their break up in the first place. Something of which I have never been more ashamed." His head drops and he looks truly sorrowful.

"Look, what past is past. They are happy now and I'm happy for that. So take the thanks and shut up about it." I gasp. Covering my mouth with my hand trying to prevent anymore rabble from escaping. I just told my boss to shut up. I look at him apologetically. But he laughs. Laughs so loud it startles the other people in the pub. I lean towards him. "What?"

"Oh Lizzie, you have no idea how much you make me laugh." He splutters between more laughing. What? Was that a compliment? It really wasn't that funny. "Nobody has ever told me to shut up. Not even my sister, not since I was a kid anyway. I love that you feel comfortable enough with me now to do that." I look down embarrassed, I'm sure my face is blushing. He looks seriously at me. "I never thought you would ever be that comfortable with me, not the way you are with Charlie and Richard, even Wickham."

For a moment we just sit and stare at one another until a loud crack in the fire alerts us to the fact we are still in the middle of a crowded pub. "Yes well it's amazing what two glasses of wine will do to a girl, _Mr Darcy_."

Shaking his head smiling, he refuses my offer to go halves and pays the bill. He stands to leave draining the last dregs of his pint. Ever the gentleman, he takes my hand to help me to my feet, but doesn't let go, without saying a word, I don't either. We leave the pub like that: holding hands. We spend the remainder of the day together. And the next. And the one after that. So passes the next two weeks, much the same. In the morning Nick would meet me at the hotel we'd go off for a days' exploring, eat lunch together, talk about everything and then return at night. Sometimes my aunt and uncle would join us, sometimes Georgiana. We spend almost all of the two weeks together. We are a couple in every sense, except the fact we aren't. We haven't kissed or even spoken about moving anywhere from being friends. It's like we are wrapped in a bubble, which will pop as soon as we broach the subject of when we get home. For the first time in my life I don't want to go home.

The time is here though, tomorrow is Friday, and I will be leaving and getting back to my little flat and back to reality. He is taking Georgiana to the station tomorrow and then returning to his city penthouse in the evening. Monday we will both return to work as normal, all of this forgotten, back to being Boss and Secretary. Mr Darcy and Miss Bennet. And yet nothing will be the same, something has shifted in us. We know more about each other than even our families. Shared more secrets and dreams with each other than anyone. I am going to miss him.

I finally understand what sort of a man Mr Darcy is, behind all his politeness and bravado, He and I have little in common; on the outside we are so unsuitable for each other, yet his personality, humour and mannerisms despite being so unlike my own – answer all my wishes. I believe we really could be good together. I could bring him down to earth and dare I say it, liven him up his life. I could soften his hard edges and hopefully improve the way he sees things. Whereas his good judgment and knowledge of the world could certainly only improve and expand mine. We could both benefit so much from being together, it's difficult to remember all the reasons why we wouldn't.

As I arrive at my flat, I kiss my aunt and uncle goodbye thanking them again for such a wonderful trip and apologise for not spending more time with them. My aunt just laughs and says something about my time not being wasted. She is hoping to see more of Nick and Georgiana too in the near future. I just smile. I didn't want to explain to my own relatives how we are too far down the social ladder for that to ever happen. This fortnight has been a fluke. We are away from Rosings and the watchful eyes of Lady Catherine and Caroline and therefore we could act like normal people, even if it was just for a couple of weeks. However I am not a fool and I'm not naïve. I know the moment I step into that office on Monday all trace of our friendship will disappear and it will be business as normal once again. I want Nick, I couldn't deny it and the feelings I am having are much too strong for a twenty one year old to be having. Words like _forever_ and _marriage_ whirling though my head. I need to take a step back and compose myself. Get my bearings. At least I will have the weekend to do that.

I open the door of my flat pushing the pile of post that has built up while I have been away. I'll deal with it later. I look around. My little flat seems empty and cold. I miss him already. This is going to be so hard. How could I care that much for someone I have really only just begun to know? I don't want to have these feelings for him. He should be with someone like Caroline, although the thoughts of them being together, of her hands all over him like New Years' eve was enough to bring vomit to my mouth, the thought of him with someone like _her_ was at least credible. We won't work. We aren't meant to be together. We are not going to be together. Nick had made me no promises or declarations, he hadn't even seemed sorry to let me go, he just said he would see me soon. I drop my case and bags in the bedroom, I'll get to those later too. I pour a glass of wine, have a shower and get into my usual sleep attire. My phone beeps with a message. The screen lights up 'Nick Darcy'. I hold my breath and click open.

Nick _I had an amazing time getting to know you. I wish it never had to end. N._

Me _Me neither._

Nick _Thank God. Now open your door._

I push the release button on the intercom and rush to my door, he can't really… I open the door to his smiling face. His arm stretches up, leaning against the frame of the door. He's in his black suit trousers and white shirt, no tie. I can't believe it.

He's here.

"Nick!" Before I can say another word, his lips are on mine. He kicks the door shut behind him, never breaking his hold or the kiss. He pulls me to him so our bodies connect. It's as if the past two weeks of hidden emotions and feelings pour out of him into this kiss. I've never felt more wanted. His hands are on my waist, my back, in my hair. It's like he can't get enough of me, and the feeling is entirely mutual. My hands fist into his hair, pulling his face down closer to mine. He breaks the kiss while we gather our breath, both panting.

"Hi." he smiles down at me, a smile I now _know_ is reserved just for me.

"Hi back" I giggle pulling him in to the bedroom.

He stops at the door, "so," his hand plays with the strap of my top. "About this friend's thing…"


	14. Chapter 14

**So thanks as always for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying the story. I'm hoping this next chapter is not going to put anyone off, it may seem a little out of character for both Lizzie and Darcy. In my opinion their actual coming together in P &P was always a little too easy considering. I always preferred Persuasion and a little more angst. That said I am following the book more than not, so things will right themselves very soon and move along as normal! So please please stick with it -and me- we still have all the Lydia/Wickham and Lady Catherine sagas to come!**

 **Chapter Fourteen: Mr Darcy**

The whole journey back to the city from Pemberley had me thinking about one thing only, how fast I could be at Lizzie's door. The past two weeks had easily been the best of my life, but I knew there could be so much more. I didn't want to push the relationship while we were there. Having just established our friendship, I didn't want to risk it by trying to go too fast. Saying goodbye to her last night was one of the hardest things I'd had to do. The idea of just going back to a "good morning" in the corridor at work. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stop myself imagining holding her and kissing her. Now I want those dreams to come true.

I arrive at her building and look to the first floor windows, the lights are still on in what I knew to be the living room; she hasn't gone to bed yet. God, I really hope she doesn't answer the door in those little shorts again. I won't be able to control myself. As I stand waiting for the courage to press the intercom, another resident comes out of the door and holds it open for me. A bit of luck at last! I make it through the few steps to her front door, an idea paying on my mind. I pull out my phone and type out a quick message. Her reply makes me smile inside and out, she doesn't want us to end either. That is all the push I need. I quickly type out another message telling her to open her front door.

The door opens suddenly, and I am in front of the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen. In those damn shorts. I can't help it. I surge forward taking her small frame in my arms and luscious lips in my own. I never wanted something as much as I did her right now. The kiss is so right. We are so right. Like it had always been and always would be. There is no way I can go back to being just friends after tonight. Tonight everything would change and that scares me to death, but at the same time I can't imagine going through life without her by my side.

I am not letting her go.

We stumble through her flat to her bedroom. Breaking the kiss just long enough to tell her I don't want to be friends, much to my relief, she agrees, we shut her bedroom door behind us. And that is how I find myself this morning, this wonderful morning, walking up wrapped around this amazing woman. Lizzie. _My_ Lizzie. We spent most of last night and this morning, making love, talking and making love some more. Until we knew each other inside and out on a more intimate level. She murmurs in her sleep and moves closer into me. I wrap my arm around her more tightly afraid to let her go in case this has all been a dream. She opens her eyes, big brown pools looking up at me. "Morning." I whisper.

"Mm Morning." She stretches out and then curls back up against me so we're spooning. I realise I have never spooned before. I like it. I like it lot. "So Mr Darcy, what do you have planned for today?" She grins. I had told her last night how I liked her calling me Mr Darcy. _Especially in the bedroom_. I lean forward, kissing her forehead and then pull her over so she is under me, my forearms on either side of her face.

"I think I would like to spend the entire weekend right here." I kiss her neck and she giggles. Saturday comes and goes in a blur of wonderful things. Unfortunately, we don't spend the _entire_ weekend in bed. But we do stay in her flat for the whole forty eight hours, alone, the only exception being the delivery man who brings our Chinese food Saturday night. We talk some more, kiss a lot. Watch films, eat junk food, it's like our own little paradise. However something is hanging over us like a black cloud and I know the subject has to be breached sooner rather than later, I still want to enjoy tomorrow before going back to work Monday morning.

Lizzie is relaxing on the sofa watching some garbage on TV, her bare feet tucked under me. I reach for the remote muting the TV. She looks up puzzled. "What's up?"

"We need to talk."

"Well that's four words no one likes to hear in a relationship. I didn't think I'd be hearing them one day in though." Her eyes are laughing but they grew serious as I straighten up in my seat. She pulls her feet away, I pull them back and hold them in my hands rubbing my thumb up and down the soles.

"It's not like that Lizzie. I'm happier now than … Well than ever. I mean we need to talk about what's going to happen Monday morning." I explain. Lizzie sits up too.

"Well I thought I would go to work and you probably should too." She laughs nervously. "But I'm guessing that's not what you mean." She looks at me and then the penny drops. "Oh. You're worried about what people will think. Obviously I'm not expecting you to send out a departmental email or stand up and make announcement. To be honest I don't see how it's any ones business but our own."

"Exactly! So you agree there's no reason why we should tell anyone." I add delicately.

"Well yes, I mean I'm not going to go shouting about it. But what are you saying exactly? That we don't tell _anyone_? What about Charlie and Jane?" she looks at me curiously.

Is she angry?

"No, I think it would be best if we just keep this between us," I try to put it as gently as I can, before hastily adding, "just for the time being, let's enjoy our time together away from the office."

She frowns. She _is_ angry.

"Ok, so are you saying I have to stay away from you at work? Avoid each other?" She is getting angrier I can tell. I have messed this up already. I have to fix this.

"No, no that's not what I'm saying at all. Just that we have to be careful, in front of everyone else we're still Mr Darcy and Miss Bennet," I take her hand, "but behind closed doors we're us."

She shrugs her hand out of my hold. "I'm sorry I'm not following here, or at least I hope I'm not, because what it sounds like is that you want to have some sort of seedy affair, where what?" her eyes narrow. "We meet up at hotel rooms, enjoy a quick hour together and then return to work like nothing's happened. I'm not about to drape myself all over you in a board meeting or call you darling in front of client Nick, but this is a bit harsh. Why wouldn't you want at least our friends to know?"

This is not going how I planned. Why did this sound so straight forward in my head? Seeing her eyes looking at me, all that hurt in her face, I hate myself. "Lizzie, look what I'm trying to say is, if we go public with this right away, think of the back lash we'll take, Caroline? How easy do you think working with her is going to be once she finds out you're sleeping with the boss." I warn. She flinches. "And Aunt Catherine, once she finds out she'll make your life hell. She can't sack you, but she'll make you quit."

"I think I can handle your aunt very well thank you, and Caroline. What I can't handle right now Nick, is what you're telling me. So what are we then? What do you see happening exactly? We can't have an open relationship, we can't tell our friends; will we even leave my flat?" She gets up pulling her feet free of my hands and pace the room, one hand on her forehead. "I can't believe this is happening. I finally think I've met someone who doesn't just want a one-night stand, and then I find out, no you don't want just one one-night stand, you want a whole string of them!" She is beyond angry now. I have to defuse the situation fast or this would be over before it started. I just can't find the words. I can't tell her the truth - that if aunt Catherine finds out I am dating an employee - I will be out of the firm and everything I have worked so hard for.

"Lizzie, please, please just listen. Believe me when I say I don't want this. I would give anything to go out in the open and show you off to everyone. Telling the whole world you're my girlfriend. And how much you mean to me." _That I love you_. "But it's not possible, not in the world I live in. There are too many rules - and obligations - for want of a better word. Just trust me when I say I am not one of those people I am trying to keep us secret from." I explain desperately.

" _Secret_. There's the problem Nick. I'm not sure I'm happy being a dirty little secret."

"Elizabeth you would never ever be my dirty little secret!" _You are the best thing that ever happened to me._ "I'm just trying to protect you. Please believe me. I only have your best interests at heart." I grab her hands and pull her down on the sofa so she is straddling me and I can look straight into those big brown eyes. "Just give me some time to pave the way, and we'll go public I promise." I beg her. I don't know what does it, but slowly she nods. Thank God.

Sunday passes as quickly as Saturday, but it isn't the same between us. I hope this would change - soon. I gather my coat and things and prepare to leave. I turn to Lizzie, she is in the kitchen with her back to me. Even from behind I can tell she is tense. Her shoulders are hunched up. I put my hands gently on her neck and massage lightly. Kissing her just below her ear and whispering that I have to go, she nods and follows me to the door, our little fingers linking in a promise. I pull her into an embrace. "I know this is going to be hard Lizzie, believe me, for me too. I don't know how I've stood the past few weeks seeing you in office everyday wanting to touch you and kiss you, now I know exactly how amazing you are, it will be a hundred times worse." My admission brings her around, she laughs and gazes up at me.

"Well I'll try my hardest to look as unappealing as possible. And you need to stop wearing that black suit and white shirt combo!" She pokes her finger into my chest, I laugh and hug her tight; we are back to us again. She pouts her lips. "When will I see you again, by you, I mean _all_ of you?"

"My God what have I done? The timid quiet little secretary has been transformed into some kind of insatiable nympho!" I kiss her on her forehead while she smacks my chest in protest. "I have a feeling I may be in need of some secretarial skills tomorrow. So keep an eye on your emails." I kiss her again and leave before I can't.

Once she shuts the door behind me I lean my back against it, looking to the ceiling for answers. What have I done? I'm at the beginning of potentially the most important relationship I have ever been in and instead of enjoying the honeymoon stage of never being able to let each other go, I have just told this beautiful woman we aren't allowed to be seen together. God I'm a complete git. What must she think of me? I should be counting my lucky stars she would give me the time of day, not trying to hide her. Damn Catherine, Damn Rosings.

After a sleepless night I arrive at the office ready to face normality. I have been in the office for exactly ninety six minutes and I'm already climbing the walls missing her so much. I didn't see her come in this morning, I came straight up to my floor without stopping; I couldn't bear to see her, no doubt with hurt in her eyes because of the situation I have put her in. I look at the few snap shots I have on my phone from Derbyshire and the weekend. I find one of Georgiana and Lizzie. Wishing I could have it enlarged and placed proudly on my desk. Then I flip to the one I took of us in bed Saturday morning, before my stupid speech, when everything was fantastic. We're gazing into each-others' eyes, hair all messed from just waking up. This one will be printed and framed at home, in my bedroom. So one way or another I will wake up to her gorgeous face every morning.

I have no idea how this whole situation is going to play out. Will we only see each other at weekends? No that won't be possible. I can't go five days without her each week. Maybe I can stay at hers at night and leave early before coming here. We'll have to be careful. She won't be able to stay at my apartment, not even visit, at least three of the other senior partners live in our building, including Charlie. It was how my aunt had learned about him and Jane. The woman has spies everywhere.

At ten past ten I give in and have my assistant email Caroline asking for her permission for me to steal Miss Bennet away to help wrap up the case we have been working on. I feel like a teenager meeting his first date, stood pacing my office awaiting her arrival. Finally there is a soft knock at my door. I sit on the edge of my desk, "come in." A big grin stretches over my face at the prospect of seeing her.

"Nick! Long-time no see, how was the break? How is my darling Georgiana?"

"Caroline!" My face falls. "What…I mean, what a lovely surprise," I struggle to appear pleased to see her. "I wasn't expecting you, did you get my email about Miss Bennet? Is she unavailable?" I walk round the back of my desk fiddling with my tie. Why is she here? Where is Lizzie?

She scowls and heaves a sigh. "Yes I got it, she'll be along in a moment. I just wanted a catch up first. It seems ages since we saw each other, let alone talked." Another knock on my door, I freeze, this is going to be like the New Years' Eve Party all over again. I am starting to think Caroline plans these meetings so that Lizzie will walk in and find us together. Lizzie's head appears round the edge and locks eyes with Caroline. I look at Caroline and back to Lizzie. For once Caroline doesn't need a hint. "Well it looks like I should be getting along. I'll catch up with you later Nick. Please tell Georgiana how I long to see her." She sashays out, pushing past a startled Lizzie. As soon as the door shuts I take Lizzie in my arms hoping to kiss away any fears she may have concerning Caroline.

She smiles up at me. "Miss me?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen: Lizzie**

What the hell is she doing in here? She knew I was coming up here. Does she suspect? God one day in and I'm already talking like I'm guilty of something. I'm just in my boyfriend's office to visit him and I'm acting like a scarlet woman. I breathe him in. Hmm he's so worth it though. Granted I wasn't overjoyed about this whole keeping it secret thing we had going on, but if meant we were still seeing each other, getting to know each other, and that he kissed me like this, I'm pretty sure I can put up with it - for now at least. I pull back looking into his gorgeous face. His brow is crinkled showing the concern on his face. His eyes are dark and anxious. He's worried about me, about my reaction to _'Green Eyes'_. He knows me too well already.

He squeezes me tighter to him, "Thank God you're here. I don't think I could have gone another second without seeing you or kissing you."

"It seems you had plenty to occupy you in my absence." I tease. _I couldn't help myself._

"Elizabeth Bennet, how could I ever look at her, or anyone, while you're alive? She doesn't know any better. We've been friends a long time, she cares about me. She thinks I shouldn't be single and she thinks that we would be better together than alone." His hands trail down my sides until his fingers link with mine.

Actually that gets me thinking.

"Yeah about that, what do you want me to do, you know if I get propositioned by someone, a man? What am I supposed to say? Everyone thinks I'm single too." His grip on my hands tightens, his forehead gets clammy. Looks like I've hit a nerve. Maybe you should have thought this little play through hey Mr Darcy?

"Who's propositioned you? Which man? Someone here at Rosings? Who?" He looks towards the door as if the man would suddenly come barrelling though it and force him to fight a duel for my hand. Well, well, Mr Darcy has a jealous side. Or at least a possessive one.

"Calm down," I grin. "Nobody, I just wanted to know what I was supposed to say when, _if_ , that happens."

He relaxes, the tension falling away from his body in waves. "Lizzie the idea of someone - _anyone_ \- other than me, kissing you and touching you like I do, kills me. Literally rips at my heart. I don't think I could bare it. I know I couldn't. I may not be able to claim you as mine in front of everyone here, but if I needed to tell some other bloke to back the hell off, I would without a thought."

Wow, that was a good speech. Now I feel bad for testing him. He really likes me. Just to confirm it, he gathers me up in his arms pushing me against the office wall and claims me with a long passionate kiss. My toes are curling inside my stilettos.

"Maybe I'll just start telling people I'm celibate or something?" I mumble against his neck. His face splits open into the widest grin I've ever seen on his face.

"Yes that could work."

After a respectable time has passed I leave his office, tablet in hand as if we had just had a normal everyday meeting and not … well there was nothing _normal_ about our meeting, but I sure hope it happens every day!

I've never considered myself an easily scared person. And never a girlie romantic type of girl. I was always the tomboy growing up, not interested in boys unless they were wanting to boost me up a tree I wanted to climb. I was never one to run screaming from the sight of a spider and always the first one to take a risk. But the past few weeks I've spent as Nick's girlfriend has put squash to all of that. Right now I'm terrified. Scared to death and my biggest fear, is that one day I'll wake up and all this will be over, right now I cannot think of anything worse than not having him in my life. The past two months - outside of work - we have been inseparable, spending each and every night together.

At first I was disgusted in myself for agreeing to keep us a secret, but now, I must admit, the stolen moments, hidden notes, bouquets delivered to my desk from mystery admirers, secret telephone calls, encrypted emails and saucy text messages are helping me come to terms with it quite nicely. Every night, I leave the office first, head to my flat, and within minutes Nick is there. I don't think he's set foot in his place since he came home from Derbyshire. At some point during the second week, a bag full of his things appeared one night, and two weeks after that, his clothes were hanging next to mine, his toothbrush in the cup beside mine. He had all but moved in and yet in the office we are perfect strangers, nothing but work colleagues. I'm not going to lie, it's exciting, planning our next meeting, ensuring we wouldn't be seen. Coming up with excuses for me to visit his office or to stay late working together on a case.

As much as I have enjoyed the creeping around, this weekend was sure to top all that. This weekend we are going out! Like really out! Georgiana is moving into her University campus on the coast and Nick is going to help her settle in. They had both been keen for me to come too. She alone knew about us. So we are having us a little weekend getaway to the seaside. I am beyond excited. Like couldn't keep still - counting down the minutes, bag packed beneath my desk, all day at work climbing the walls – excited. No one will know us there, Darcy had already been careful that no one from Rosings had any associations with the town where Georgiana will be staying, due to the whole Wickham business. So we know we are safe. We can walk down the street holding hands doing all the things that real couples do.

As we clink champagne glasses in the first class carriage of the train, countryside flying past the window and I look into Nicks eyes, I know the past eight weeks of secrecy have all been worth it. I'd do this for this rest of my life if it meant I got to share it with him. I want everything with him, marriage, kids; the works. I love him. _I love him_. Oh my god, I am in love with Mr Darcy.

"I love you."

Crap! That was out loud. Nick's staring at me like I've just grown an extra limb. Double crap, he doesn't feel the same. I don't even care that he doesn't feel the same I just wanted to say it, in my head granted, but now it's out there, I'm not about to take it back. He is the first man I have ever said it to and it never felt so right, I did love him. Why shouldn't I say it?

He takes my glass out of my hand and places it with his on the table in front of us. "Lizzie…"

"Stop!" I press my fingers against his lips, not wanting him to say it, I couldn't take the rejection. I would rather stay not knowing, than have him say he doesn't feel the same. He removes my fingers gently and links our little fingers together, looking down at them instead of at me. The air is thick with tension and I come to the conclusion that I am about to ruin our first romantic weekend together. "Wait, you don't … Don't think you have to say it back, to be honest I didn't even mean it." His head whips up and he raises an eyebrow in shock. "No I _did_ mean it, I meant I didn't mean to say it out loud. That is, what I'm trying to say is, is if you're not ready yet, don't feel like you have to say it back, just because I said it. I was just in the moment and it happened, now the moments gone, if you do feel the same and you want to tell me, sometime, there's no pres-" I'm cut off by his hands on my face pulling me towards his into the deepest kiss we've ever shared, it's like he is trying to climb inside me and take ownership of me; mind and body, heart and soul.

But he doesn't say it back.

The weekend passes in one long candle lit romantic blur. I am not just in love anymore, I am head over heels, infatuated. I don't just have butterflies fluttering in my tummy when I see him, I have fireworks exploding. When he touches me, I can still feel the warmth of his skin on mine long after it has left it. And when he kisses me … _when he kisses me_ … there are no words to describe that feeling, but it leaves me feeling safer, more desired and more home than I have ever felt in my entire twenty one years of being on this earth. Nicholas Darcy is my missing piece, my other half, my soul mate. My Future.

"Lizzie? Lizzie are you listening to me? Your phone's just gone off. I think you have a message." He lays back on the picnic blanket we have stretched out on the beach. His head is on my lap while I sit back enjoying the sun and spending time with my boyfriend outside the four walls of my flat. He looks good outside.

"We should do this more often." I squint my eyes looking up at the sunshine filled sky. Enjoying the warmth of it on my skin. I feel him tense up beneath my arms. Then it dawns on me. Of course we can't. We can't do things like this, because we can't let anyone know about us, can we? Trying to skate over the black hole that has just opened up between us threatening to ruin this wonderful weekend like the Great British weather at a barbeque, I remember what he has said. "My phone, right, a message, yeah." I pull out my phone, reading the message. I sit up straight, nearly causing Nick to roll off my lap. "OH MY GOD! Charlotte and Mr Collins, They're …. They're … they're engaged!"

Nick's face has the same shock written all over it. "Engaged? Like engaged to be married?"

"No Nick engaged on the phone, of course engaged to be married. I can't believe she'd do this, I mean I know they spent time together, and I know she's desperate to have a life of her own, but marrying Mr Collins! That just puts her slap bang back in Meryton with no chance of leaving anytime soon. What is she thinking?"

"Maybe she fell in love with him." He looks down at the sand.

"How could she have? I don't think so. They've only known each other two minutes."

"Well stranger things have happened. Opposites do attract after all." He smiles his special Lizzie smile and rubs my calf with his big hand. I look in to his warm eyes, leaning down I kiss him and remind him how attracted I was to him. He pulls away much too soon. "She's older than you isn't she?"

I narrow my eyes in confusion. "Yes but what's that got to do with it?"

"Well she probably wants things, you know, the things normal girls want. A home, marriage, babies. She's probably thinking of all that. Mr Collins isn't _that_ bad and he has a good career ahead of him. I think it's a good match. She could do worse." I'm stunned by these latest words of Darcy wisdom. _Normal girls?_ What's that supposed to mean? I've agreed to a secret relationship with no real prospects of it developing into anything more, so I am abnormal? All this was his idea. _Mr Collins isn't bad_ … _good match?_ I'm looking at stranger. He settles back into his place on my lap and puts on his sunglasses, his tell for going to sleep. I can't relax anymore. I need to go for a walk and clear my head. So much has just happened since I received that text message it's like something has shifted.

I shuffle from under him until he is forced to lean up on his elbows and move from my lap. He lifts his sunglasses to look at me. Silently asking me what I am doing. "I'm going for a walk," I explain, "do you want anything?"

"No, but do you want me to come with you?" He starts to pack the things away.

"No, no I could do with a few minutes alone to process all this. Ok?"

He looks puzzled. "Yeah, but Lizzie it's not the end of the world you know? Your friend is getting married. Ok, so you don't like the bloke, but it's not you marrying him is it? You're not the one engaged." He stops what he is doing, as if he realises what he has just said and then continues putting the stuff into the bag.

"No I'm not." I murmur. "I'll see you in a little while."

That's how I find myself sitting here at the wedding reception of my closest friend Charlotte. I have been bridesmaid. Only myself and her sister Maria. It had been a quick wedding, only four months have passed since I received her engagement news to now. They wanted to get married before the end of the summer. I can't understand why, but each to their own. My sister Jane is beside me playing with the diamond ring that adorns her third finger. Yes, it seems wedding bells are definitely in the air. Charlie proposed a few weeks after Mr Collins and they too are eager to get their wedding under way. They're due to be married at the end of September. I am to be bridesmaid - again - what's that saying, always the bridesmaid? Nick will be best man, I have just spent a very uncomfortable few minutes listening to Jane and Charlie banter over whether or not Nick and Caroline will finally get it together at the wedding. Under the table I pull out my phone and send a quick message.

Me _Missing you._

Nick _Me too, the flat seems quiet without you._

Me _You're in my flat?_

Nick _Yeah, I'm in bed waiting for you_

I smile, God I wish he could have come tonight, if I have to see one more pity smile aimed at me when I tell people I'm here alone. Or my mother saying how that could have been me stood there with Doctor Collins.

Me _I'll be home soon. Just having one last dance._

Nick _Alone I hope. You looked too good in that dress. I bet all the men are looking at you. Wish I was there to fend them off._

Me _You could have been._

Alright that is a low blow, but I'm feeling pretty low.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen: Mr Darcy**

I finally pull myself out of Lizzie's warm embrace and swing my legs out of bed, eyeing the suit hung on the back of her bedroom door. Today is the day of Charlie and Jane's wedding. I am best man and Lizzie is maid of honour. I look down at her sleeping, god she is beautiful, how I ever got so lucky as to have her in my life I will never know. She stirs, her eyes squeezing shut against the light that soars through the curtains I've just drawn back. "Come on sleepyhead we have a wedding to get to."

"Five more minutes." She pulls the duvet back over her head. I chuckle and crawl back onto the bed, my body covering hers, the duvet in between us. I reach forward and pull the cover off her face, so I can look into those beautiful sleepy eyes.

"Miss Bennet you get up right now and get your gorgeous body in that shower, or I will have to get back in there with you and then we'll both be late." Her arms snake around my chest under my shoulders and up into my hair.

"Well then Mr Darcy, it looks like we're both going to be late." She pulls me back down to her, kissing me. How can I refuse?

Lizzie looks breath-taking. Honestly, she is almost putting Jane to shame. Jane however has that glow about her that only a blushing bride can own. Watching her and Charlie say their vows I realise how wrong I was to keep these two apart. They are so utterly in love with each other. My gaze wanders again to Lizzie, I'm trying to stop myself, making sure I look at all of her sisters standing there in the pale lilac chiffon Grecian style gowns, but Lizzie pulls my eyes every time. I just can't get enough of her. We'd talked this morning about how hard today would be for both of us being so close yet having to stay apart. I never imagined the level of control I would need.

I glance at the congregation. Louisa is smiling vacantly at the proceedings while her husband only seems to have eyes for _my_ Lizzie. I will be keeping an especially on him later. Caroline's eyes are fixed on mine; she isn't paying any attention to the beautiful scene playing out in front of us. I'm going to have to watch her and her wandering hands tonight. Especially once she gets a few drinks inside her. I look back at the display of flowers across the aisle - my secret way of looking at Lizzie without detection - her eyes are solely on Jane and Charlie. I feel a pang of jealously that she can keep her eyes off me. I let my eyes drift down her to her shoes. She's transferring the weight from foot to foot, she's dying to get those shoes off her feet. She hates wearing high heels.

After I make my speech I sit back and really start to enjoy the occasion. The wedding is spectacular, the food delicious and I have the best view in the hotel right now. Lizzie, my Lizzie is bending delicately over her foot undoing her strappy silver heels. I see the relief on her face as she rubs the sole of her foot and puts it against the cold floor. I wish I am rubbing her feet right now. My phone beeping momentarily distracts me. It's a text message.

Lizzie: _Stop staring at me!_

Me: _I'm not!_

Lizzie: _Liar! I saw you all the way through the ceremony. You're going to get us caught._

Me: _I can't help it._

I can't. I look up, she's looking down at her phone smiling. She runs her thumb over the screen, not taking her eyes off the screen, like she does over my wrist sometimes when I'm frustrated over a case, immediately calming me. She knows how to read me so well, better than I do myself.

Lizzie: _You know the best man and maid of honour are supposed to dance together, its tradition._

I sigh. I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms and be with her. It's just too risky, I won't be able to keep my face from revealing how I really feel about her, everyone will know.

Me: _We can't_

Lizzie: _We danced at your aunt's party_

Me: _One occasion is friendly politeness, twice implies involvement_

Lizzie: _We are involved_

Me: _I know Lizzie, and I want to, but we can't. I'm sorry._

Without me noticing, the tables have been cleared, the lights dimmed and the band is setting up. Jane and Charlie have cut the cake and are making their way on to the dance floor for their first dance. Lizzie is directly opposite me, stood between her father and mother. A perfect opportunity for me to look right at her without giving anything away. She's smiling, so happy at her sisters' happiness. She one of the most selfless people I know. Her mother whispers something in her ear and I see the smile falter, her eyes dart to mine and then she turns and leaves. I try to see where she is going but can't get a better view without giving myself away, so I let her go. I'll check on her later.

Who am I kidding? I'll check on her now.

I'll just make out I'm trying to find the men's room or something. Suddenly a red head is blocking my escape. _Caroline_. I heave a sigh. "Hi Caroline, lovely day wasn't it? If you can just excuse me one minute I'm just looking for someone." She holds onto my arm, I'm not going anywhere.

"Someone special? I hope not! Don't tell me Mr Darcy has finally found himself a _friend_." Her green eyes are a little blood shot, probably from all the champagne. I doubt it is from shedding a tear at the union of her brother with his wife. "Well, well, it looks like our little Miss Bennet has found herself someone too." My head snaps up and turns to Lizzie's direction, I immediately find her leaning against the bar, a tall stocky blonde haired guy leaning in to her, close. _Too close_. He's jerking his thumb towards the dance floor. I see her look up and find me, I look away not wanting it to look like I'm watching her, when that's exactly what I am doing. Caroline continues to jabber away but it's all white noise. All I can hear, see, breathe; is Lizzie. She's shaking her head. _Thank Christ, now move away_. But no, they're still talking. What is she doing to me? This is killing me. Killing me slowly and painfully. I'm rooted to the spot. Caroline leaves. Richard is beside me watching the dancing. Tapping his foot to the beat of the band. I have an idea.

"Rich. You need to do me a favour." I swallow hard, I have no choice; I have to ask.

He knocks his drink back in one go. "Sure buddy what's up?"

"Look I know this is as crazy as it sounds but just humour me please? Go stand by Elizabeth, hover round her a bit, buy her a drink, dance with her, whatever it takes to stop that git over there from getting anywhere near her." I try to rein in the rage in my voice but my emotions are giving me away.

Richard starts grinning. "I knew it! I knew there was something there. You like her don't you?" he teases. I gulp and look down into my drink. I can feel my cheeks heating up. He lets out a low wolf whistle. "Jesus! You've already been there haven't you?" His eyes are wide.

I grab his arm a little too tight in a reflex at someone insulting Elizabeth and have to release it. He looks at me shocked and I try to smile. "Don't talk about her like that. Ok? It's not like that."

"Ok! Ok Nick calm down, what is it like then? Because if I'm to give up getting lucky tonight to babysit for you, I think I deserve to know." He claims.

I groan. He's right. "Ok, we've been seeing each other for a while now. But no one knows, ok? And that's the way it stays, understand Richard? Nobody knows about this."

"I hear you, so how long's a while then?"

I shake my head, he's going to love this. "Six months."

"Six months, Christ Nick. What have you been doing? How the hell have you kept this hidden? And what does Lizzie think of all this? I mean is she happy with this set up? I can't imagine any woman being happy being kept a secret for this long."

I look down. "Yeah well we've talked about it, Lizzie knows it's important to me that no one finds out." But as the words leave my mouth I realise how terrible they sound.

"You don't want anyone to find out, but Nick why? She's a gorgeous, talented, intelligent woman, all the time I have spent with her, she comes across as caring and sweet and everything you could want in the perfect girl."

"She is." I admit. He looks at me puzzled. "Perfect I mean." I mean it. She is. _And I'm a total shit._

"Then why the secrecy? Why aren't you stalking over there knocking that kid flat and claiming your girl?" He's gaping at me, daring me to answer.

"It's... Complicated." _Total. Shit._

He frowns. "No it's not Nick, that's just something people say when they're scared of the outcome. Look I don't want to hear anymore, I'll go take care of Lizzie, but not for you. _Because_ of you." He looks at me like he doesn't even know me.

He walks away not looking back, I see him put his arm around Lizzie and lean in whispering something in her ear. She grins, puts down her drink and joins him on the dance floor. I feel … I don't know what I feel, but it's like something just broke in me and its tearing me apart from the inside out. She doesn't deserve this. She could have anyone she wants. Someone normal who can't wait to take her home and meet his family. Not me.

Richard has a hand on her tiny waist, the other holding hers. God I don't know if I can stand this. It's only my cousin doing me a favour and I still can't stand him touching her. I clench my hands around the same drink I've been holding onto all night. I need to keep a clear head or I am likely to explode and give the whole game away. Not only would that spoil Jane and Charlie's big day, but it would mean the past six months of hiding this, would be for nothing. _Six months_. Has it really been six months? But then I couldn't remember a time in my life when she wasn't a part of it.

Caroline is back at my side wrapping her arms around my neck. She stinks of booze. She's drunk. I haven't noticed her approach, because I have been too busy looking at Lizzie in Richards arms. Even though I knew I have placed her there, it still hurts. That should be me dancing with her. I'm her boyfriend. I restrain Caroline. This ridiculous game of flirting is past endearing, now it's just plain irritating, not to mention embarrassing on both our parts. "Caz come on, I'm not in the mood for this. You know I'm not interested in you, not like that."

"Oh come on Nick we've danced around this long enough. I know you want me, I could tell when we were together earlier, the way your body tensed in my arms." I refrain from pointing out it was nothing to do with being in her arms and everything to do with the amazing beautiful woman who I am destroying one piece at a time. I see Richard before I see her. She's taken her heels off and so is hidden behind his tall frame. But I see her now and I see the anger in her eyes. I know that feeling, it is the same one I had when she was stood with that guy earlier.

"Excuse me Caroline." She says it so politely, but I can hear the hatred in her usually light voice. She's way beyond mad. She's hurt. I have hurt her.

"Oh Eliza I didn't see you there." Caroline mocks.

"No I gathered that, you were too busy trying to get your tongue down Nicks throat," Lizzie moves closer to her until her face is mere inches from Caroline's. "And it's Lizzie! L. I. Z. Z. I. E." Lizzie yells at her.

Caroline jumps. "Miss Bennet. I'm going to forgive you this little outburst due to the fact that you've obviously either taken a leave of your senses, or have been drinking." Caroline steps back recovering herself before turning back to Lizzie her eyes narrowing. "You ever talk to me like that again and it will be the end of your career at Rosings Park." She smiles cruelly. "I don't know what little fantasy you have going on in that little brain of yours about yourself and Mr Darcy, but read my lips, it's never going to happen."

I wait for Lizzie to contradict her, to shout out and let it be known to the whole room exactly what had been going on between us, she opens her mouth as if that's what she intends to do but then closes it again. I turn away unable to look at Caroline either while that venomous mouth of hers spouts this rubbish. Nothing, could make me look at Lizzie. I know the pain in her face would kill me right now. I'm not a man capable of being her boyfriend, I'm a disgrace. I should be ashamed of myself, and I am. I want it all to stop but Caz continues. "Look, he can't even look you in the face, you're nothing to him, just some trash. I think we can all agree that if any of the senior partners were to look at you twice or show any interest in you outside work it would be for one reason only. You're a charity case Miss Bennet, someone Mr Darcy felt sorry for and has done nothing but try to help you with your time at Rosings and you repay him like this. Frankly you should be ashamed of yourself. I suggest you leave."

I try to open my mouth, I _need_ to speak.

"That's enough Caroline!" Richard -more man than I could ever be- wraps a protective arm around Elizabeth and leads her away. "Come on Lizzie let's get you a drink." Lizzie should be with someone like him. He wouldn't do what I am doing to her, he had basically told me so earlier. He scowls at me and I see it written all over his face; he's ashamed of me too. I finally pull myself together and look at Lizzie. She's not looking at me, her head is down, but I can see the tears escaping her eyes. I can barely control myself right now. That should be me taking care of her, hell I should have stopped Caroline and stuck up for her so she wouldn't be this upset in the first place. No I can't even blame Caroline. I should have put stop to this a long time ago. I pull out my phone and text her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen: Lizzie**

 _'_ _It's time we left. Flag down a taxi and meet me round the corner.' N x_

I can't help the disappointment building inside me, for a moment I think I am going to cry again. I shake my head clearing my mind and forcing the unshed tears back down. Tonight has been … awful. Horrid. Depressing. Suddenly I realise all the excitement of a secret relationship is not so exciting anymore. Tonight in a room filled with our most loved friends and family, we have had to pretend, put on a show of not being together. Even going as far as pretending to be interested in other people. No, I am not finding this exciting one bit. I am finding it all thoroughly sad, and it makes me feel sad inside. This is not me. I'm not the sort of person who just lets other people decide what is best for me, even if that person is the man I've fallen in love with. If he truly loved me for who I am then he wouldn't want this person I had become either. An icky thought enters my mind, along the lines of what Caroline had suggested and I quickly dismiss it. No it isn't like that, he has never treated me like _that_. I have never been made to feel cheap or that I am here for one reason only. Sure, that plays a big part in our relationship, mostly because we - both of us - can't keep our hands off the other, but we do other things. We do. We … talk. Yes! There's lots of talking and we've had that weekend away.

Once.

I see a taxi approach and flag him down, giving my address. It's always my place, when did it become the norm that we always went to my place? I ask him to wait round the corner for my _friend._ He raises an eyebrow giving me a look, of what? Disgust? Pity? The realisation is slowly sinking in, I don't know why it has hit me tonight, but this thing - whatever it is we are doing - is getting us nowhere, there is no future. Although I'm only twenty two, I am not about to waste my time, or risk my heart, on a fling I know from the start can never blossom into anything more. I crack the window open to get some air, it's very warm and I have that sickly feeling deep inside my gut. This is it, make or break. I won't, I _can't_ , carry on like this. If he feels anything like I do for him, he wouldn't want me to feel like this. He would have put Caroline straight. But he didn't. Did he?

That is it though, we never discuss his feelings, do we? I have laid my heart out on the table for all to see. But him. I have no idea if I am the centre of his world, someone he wants for the rest of his life, or just something to warm his bed tonight, _my_ bed that is. I'm brought back to reality by the car door opening. Nick gets in, he's smiling, and instructs the driver once again of our destination and then sits back. I make no effort to go to him, I want to see him make the first move. I shrivel into the corner, elbow on the window frame, chin in my hand, looking at the street. I risk a peak out of the corner of my eye, his smile drops. "I'm sorry for what happened." He states simply.

"Really." I can't look at him, this time sorry is not good enough.

"Of course I am Lizzie, it was all rubbish she was spouting, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Elizabeth, for Christ sake, is that all I'm going get out of you tonight, one word answers? Look we need to talk about what just happened in there. You were upset I know you were, and you're probably thinking I'm a complete waste of space right now but we have to talk about it, don't we?"

"Yep." I pop the 'p'.

The taxi driver catches my eye in the mirror, he's enjoying this. Nick lets out a grunt, mumbles something and turns his shoulder to face his window too. My other hand is laid flat on the seat beside me and I know without looking his is too. In close proximity like this car, I feel him, smell him; sense him. He's all around me. I know every movement without even opening my eyes, which I have shut in order to keep from talking. I finally find the strength to open my eyes and look down at our little fingers centimetres apart. All he has to do is move slightly and stroke my finger, link his with mine in a 'pinky swear,' that is our thing, our way of finding our way back to each other. As long as we have that, we'll be ok. Just give me some kind of recognition, that you do have feelings for me, real feelings and I will forget the whole thing.

But no.

Before I know it we are outside my flat still not talking or touching. Normally I'd wait for Nick to open my door like he likes to, not tonight. I open the door, surprising him I know, stepping out and behind the car door. Nick slides across the seat to get out. I push the door to prevent him, he looks up at me shocked by my sudden move. "I think it might be for the best if you stay at your place tonight I need sometime alone, to think." I suggest calmly. His face lances in pain. We have never spent a night apart, since we have been together. I take a step back towards my front door.

"Lizzie! What are you talking about? What do you need to think about? I don't understand, we need to talk, you can rant, scream, whatever to make you feel better but you can't walk away. This attitude, you're behaving, quite frankly like a child!" _Oh no! You did not just go there!_ "Now grow up and have a mature conversation with me." He orders. The taxi driver seems very amused by all this and is sat back doing a terrible job of pretending not to listen. I'm tired. And I don't want to argue, not in front of the taxi driver, in the middle of _my_ street, in _my_ neighbourhood. And then I snap.

"Why do we never go to your place?" I ask. He looks dumbfounded, like I just asked him to spin straw into gold, it's an easy enough question after all. Just say it. Just say 'your place is cosier, it feels more like home, your bed is comfier,' anything but…

"You know why, there are people from work who live in my building and I can't risk being seen with you."

 _I knew it_. Then a lot of things happen simultaneously. Nick has a look on his face in his eyes I can't quite put into words, is it guilt? Shame? I don't know but I don't like it. The taxi driver draws in air though his teeth and shakes his head, even he knows that's the wrong answer. You don't tell the girl you're sleeping with, you don't want to be seen with her. At least not if you aren't paying her, even then it's pretty low. I cross my arms over my chest. I don't know why, maybe as a shield for my heart knowing what will come next will crack it open.

"You know what, maybe you _had_ better come inside. I don't want to do this in the street. I live here." The taxi driver looks at me concerned for a moment, while Nick makes his way out of the car. I give the driver a smile back as if to say don't worry I'll be fine, even though I'm anything but fine right now and terrified its only going to get worse. After Nick pays him we make our way up.

Once inside, the true magnitude of what I'm about to do hits me. This flat, just a few hours ago was full of laughter, and love - or so I thought. Now I know different. I take a deep breath and turn to face him. He looks off, so unlike him. He's normally so together, so cool and controlled but now he's frantically pacing, pulling his fingers through his hair making it stand up on end. I've never seen him like this, if I didn't know any better I'd be scared. "Look I know what Caroline said was vile and she may have lead you to believe that something was going on between us. You don't need to be jealous, you know there is nothing there. How could there be? I'm with you every night. Every Damn night Lizzie!" He bellows. I try to remain calm despite my natural female reaction to knee him where it hurts and call him every name I could think of and probably a few more after I _Googled_. Jealous of her! That's what he thinks this is about! Of yes it could never be the fault of the perfect Mr Darcy.

"No _this_ is nothing to do with Caroline said. Not directly anyway." I answer calmly.

"Then what, because to be honest Lizzie I'm at a complete loss here. I just don't see what I've done that is so wrong." He looks at me wildly. "I know I should have been the one to put a stop to her, I know I shouldn't have let her upset you, but I just couldn't risk it, especially not at Charlies wedding. It wouldn't be fair on anyone. I had to let Richard take care of it. If I had intervened it would have looked suspicious."

And there it is. He really doesn't see it, does he? And that is the worst part of the whole thing. I believe he would let us go on like this for years. Just sneaking around, a stolen moment every now and again when no one's looking. I want more, a lot more. I want a real relationship. I sit down on the sofa. Head in my hands. "I can't do this." I whisper, afraid my voice will break.

"What – explain? What's this ' _this'_ you keep referring to, 'because I sure as hell don't have a fucking clue!" Nick swore. I have never heard him swear, not like that. This is bad. He's angry.

Well do you know what? So am I.

"This, _this_ , you and me" I waggle my finger between us to make my point. "This big secret, I can't keep it hidden anymore. I feel like some cheap whore, a bit on the side you have to keep hidden from the people in your life and you're not even married Nick! This is too hard. I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of pretending. I want a real relationship."

He laughs dryly. "So you're giving up on me, that's it? You've had a bit of fun and now you want out. Fancy your chances with someone else huh? Richard? Wickham?"

"Nick! Stop that now! You know very well I'm not interested in anyone else. That's the point I'm trying to make. I want you. It's you that I lo-…" I catch myself, I won't say that, I won't give tell him again. That isn't what this is about. "I want to take this further Nick, not run away from it. We were at that wedding tonight with all the people that love us and I wanted to shout it from the roof tops that you were there with me. Not avoid you at all costs, save someone should actually see you talking to me, heaven forbid. Then to top it off you go one step further, if I didn't feel low and pathetic enough, you get Richard to dance with me. To what? Keep me from ogling at you and causing a scene? Or just so you could get your hands on Caroline?"

"I told you! How many times do I have to say it? There's nothing between me and Caroline. There never has been and there never will be." He grabs my hands. I let him.

"I believe you." I admit. He looks relieved for a moment before his defences come back up. I continue. "I know you're not with her, I just don't know why. Because it's obvious to me, to her, your aunt and everyone else around your precious Rosings Park, that she would be just about perfect and I'm sure you'd be proud to be seen in public with her." I throw back my head and laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. "God you might even be able to hold her hand - wouldn't that be a novelty?" I'm screeching now. He takes a step back. "So why aren't you with her?" I ask.

He looks at me in despair. "Why? Why! Because I'm with you! That's why!" he drops to his knees in front of the sofa. "I thought we were together, in a relationship. I know it's not ideal Lizzie but it was working. I thought everything was ok. It seemed to be this morning, when we were in your bed."

"Oh Nick if you think this 'thing' we have going on here is a relationship then you're very, very mistaken. This is a fling, an affair, friends with benefits, call it what you want, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is where you have hopes and dreams, things you want to share with the other person. Commitment. Going out of the flat on dates, enjoying time together with others. And eventually, living together, marriage, kids. How can you go to that beautiful wedding today and not feel anything? Do you really not see where I'm going with this? If you even had a fleeting thought about having any of those things in your future, dare I even say it, with me, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone sat here waiting for a phone call or a text telling me you can spare me a few moments. I want to be someone's number one priority. I want a life with someone, I want to share my life with someone. As much as I hoped it could be, I know now, it will never be you." I drop his hands moving away.

"Lizzie wait, no, don't say it. Don't end it. I love you. I do. I love you" He pleads.

"Nick it's too late, you can't say that now, it's just an excuse to get me to change my mind."

"No, it's true. I love you, I've struggled in vain not to, but I do."

"Am I supposed to be grateful for that? Am I supposed to be pleased that, despite the fact you didn't want to, you _allowed_ yourself to fall in love with me? Is that what you're saying Nick?"

"Lizzie is that all you have to say? I've just told you that I love you."

"No. You told me that you don't _want_ to love me. The same as you don't want us to be seen together, you don't want anyone to know we are together. Do you think you are too good for me Nick is that it? That you are above me, with your Rosings Park and grand estate, what could a senior partner millionaire possibly want in a lowly secretary from a middle class background like me?"

He shakes his head and comes towards me again, shuffling on his knees. The sight of Nicholas Darcy on his knees would be quite amusing if I wasn't so furious with him right now. His hands hover over my knees before moving and resting on the sofa at either side of me. He's scared to touch me. And I'm absolutely petrified he will. If he touches me now and looks at me with those big eyes I might just forget everything my head was screaming at me and settle. "Lizzie." His voice is soft and velvet like it always is when we're most intimate. "I do love you and I do want you. I want you for the rest of my life."

He sounds so sincere and looks like he means it. I almost want to forgive him and kiss the fears away. I swallow hard. "You know I want to believe you, I want so much to think we could be happy and live the rest of our lives together," my voice is low like his. He looks at me a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "But it isn't true is it Nick? The truth is, you are not brave enough for us to be together. You never fought for us, for me. You're always too concerned with the thoughts and feelings of others you never stopped to worry for a moment about the person supposedly the most important in your life."

His eyes narrow and he falls back on his heels. "Lizzie is this really what you think? What you think of me? Is your opinion of me so low?" he pauses for me to contradict him. When I don't he gets to his feet and runs a hand down his face before moving away completely and over to the window. "You are right, of course I do care. I care about Rosings and the future of the company. I have hundreds of employees who count on me doing just that. I have an estate to care for and a sister to introduce to adulthood. I have my family; Richard and Aunt Catherine, why should I cause all these people such heartache and upset just to be happy? I'm sorry I can't be more selfish like Wickham and not give a care in the world for others and the consequences of my actions. I'm sorry that I can't be overjoyed at the inferiority of your lack of connections. I can't congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own. We are different Lizzie. We are a world apart. But I wanted you to become part of my world." He turns back to face me, his eyes darken. "To become my world."

"Nick if you think this little declaration has affected me, you're wrong. In truth all I can think on now, is how many months we have wasted." I bite. He looks visibly shaken, I can't help myself it has been building for too long. "I should have never have opened my door that night. You call yourself a gentleman the master of the estate, and yet you treat me like this. To think I stupidly dreamed of a forever with you, of becoming your wife." My voice is breaking, the tears threatening to spill.

Nicks head whips up and his once watery eyes clear. "Let's do it."

"What?"

His face takes on a wild look. "Lizzie if you want to get married, let's get married. Right now. Tonight."

I'm looking at him like he's crazy. Is he crazy?

"Is that supposed to be a proposal or a solution? Nick you have had countless times over the past six months, romantic moments, to make promises and proposals to me, and yet it's taken an argument and ultimatum from me to even get you close to that. After tonight, you could never make me an offer of marriage in any possible way that would tempt me to accept it." The astonishment on his face is obvious; he looks at me with an expression of mingled incredulity and mortification. I carry on. "From the very beginning, from the first moment I met you, your manners, arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others _,_ were enough to keep me away from you at all costs _."_ I pause and smile at the memory. _"_ Then I got to know you, the real you and I thought for a time we could make it work. We could overcome everything and be together. I never dreamed we would ever spend time together without driving each other crazy, and yet here we are six months on. But tonight, it all changed. We blew it Nick. I don't know whose fault it was deep down, a bit of both I should think, but one thing I do know from everything that has been said tonight, at this moment you are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."

He drops to the sofa, his head in his hands. I want so much to comfort him but I can't give in now. This should have been said a long time ago. I was too swept up in the romance of it all to have said it then, now it was like a dam had burst. If there is any future for us, anyway of saving this, it needs saying, it can't stay buried just beneath the surface waiting for an opportunity to break free. Who am I kidding? We don't have a future.

"Lizzie… God… Please listen… you ... you can't mean this. You can't really mean it's over. I don't know what I can do to make you understand how much I need you in my life. I can't handle this, I need to do something, tell me; tell me how to fix this?" he begs.

I stand in front of him looking into pleading eyes. "Prove it."

The pleading turns to curiosity. "Prove what? What do you mean?"

"I mean, Monday morning we arrive at the office _together_ , we walk through the door _together_ , holding hands _together_ , even kiss me goodbye, in front of everyone, let everyone know we are _together_." It is the last chance I would give him. Nick looks at the floor shaking his head slowly.

"Lizzie, I … I can't ... you know why… it would be career suicide. I can't … I'm already so far in. I'm with you despite my better judgement, despite your family and that you're my employee. Aunt Catherine would be furious. I can't."

Coward! I fight to control my fury. He is a mass of contradictions. a minute ago he was proposing, now he's back to secrecy again. Did he really think he could keep our marriage a secret? What would he have done if I said yes? "Right, ok, right," I pick up the cushions plumping them harder than necessary and throwing them back down on the sofa. "Well, right then. Right."

"Lizzie." He tries to take my hand but I snatch it away. He knows he's in trouble, he has to know, right? "Just give me a little more time. Let's go to bed and in the morning everything will be better…"

Oh he so doesn't know.

"Get out." I whisper it at first but then quickly find my voice. "Get out!"

"What?"

"Get the hell out of my flat, out of my life. Now! We're done. This is over. No more messing around, no more stolen moments, bootie calls whatever, it all ends now. I will not do this to myself. I deserve better than this!" I point to the door.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok, so I realise over the past few chapters Mr Darcy has not exactly come across as the strong silent hero we all know him to be. What we need is a good old fashioned crisis, in which he can show his true worth and in turn save the day...**

 **Chapter Eighteen: Mr Darcy**

Lizzie's fingers are shaking, pointing at the door and she looks like she's going to cry. She never cries. She didn't even cry today. The odd tear now and then but never actually cry. The only time I've ever known her cry was in the stock cupboard that first week at Rosings. I shut my eyes. I had lied to her. I knew exactly why she was upset, why she was frustrated with our relationship. I know because it is exactly how I am feeling. The wedding today had brought it all home to me, even before Caroline and her despicable behaviour. I'm just not as brave as Lizzie to stand up and face it. She is right we can't go on like this. She can't mean it though. Surely she knows, she knows I love her. She must. I mean I know technically I hadn't said the words until tonight, but she must know. Everything I've done.

When we're together, it's like my world's complete. The time we're apart I ache, like something's missing, like a part of me is missing. _I can't lose her_. I just need to make her see. We just need a bit more time. So I can figure this out, figure out how I can have both. I've worked so hard at Rosings to prove, just because I am being handed the firm, doesn't mean I don't deserve it. I'd worked harder than Richard, harder than anyone to build it up and maintain the reputation my uncle had created. I can't just walk away and leave that. Lizzie knows that deep down. I just need to make her see reason, once she's calmed down things would be better. I just need her to let me stay. I have this unbelievably strong feeling that if I leave, if I walk out that door, I will be leaving more than this flat.

I look round at the cosy little place. I love being here with her. She might not own it financially, but she has made it her own while she has been here. That's why I always come here. I want to smell her scent around me, see her photos, the pieces of her. This little world we created here - just us, no interruptions - it is a dream come true. Unlike my apartment, which is cold and empty, and quiet, far too quiet. I should have told her. I should have just said all that to her when she asked. I don't know what processed me to say something as ridiculous as what I had. Telling her I didn't want to be seen with her. It is so far from the truth, she should be ashamed to be seen with _me_. I don't know why she hadn't thrown me out there and then. I didn't deserve her patience or her forgiveness. I just hoped and prayed she would give them to me anyway. I have had a lifetime of being told how to behave, how to control emotions, to act, to pretend I'm someone I'm not. Never letting your guard down, never letting anyone see the real you. The fear, the weaknesses. So much had been ground into me, that even with her I had remained closed off, the more open she was with me the more inward and withdrawn I had become until I can't even be honest with her. With the woman I love.

She thought I thought I was better than her? She had no idea, she is ten times the person I'll ever be. I'm ashamed at what I have become. I want more than anything to take her home with me to Pemberley. Pemberley is my real home. With Georgiana away, I don't stay there anymore. I know bringing Lizzie there would change all of that, she would breathe life into that place and make it a home, our home. She could redecorate and put her special stamp on the place. Georgiana has already given me her blessing, she loves Elizabeth. But some of the staff, and the neighbours are too close to Aunt Catherine. If she found out I had had Lizzie staying at the house, there would be hell to pay. I couldn't put Lizzie through that. Not for anything.

I take a deep breath in, ready to give my personal best closing argument when her landline begins to ring. I look at her, if she answers it, it will give me a couple of more moments to think straight or will she ask me to leave before she answers?

"Shit!" her outburst startles me. She walks away from the door and towards the phone, not talking to me, not even looking at me. "Who's calling at this time? The only people who even have the landline number are my aunt and uncle, and my parents." She stops and turns white as a sheet. I want so desperately to comfort her. To hold her, she is obviously distressed, so much so, she is struggling to pick up the ringing hand set. I watch her slowly cross the room and pick it up with her still shaking hands. "H-hello?" she stutters. I drop my head to give her privacy and to try and come up with an idea or speech that would have her consenting to a little more time. If I could just think of some way to persuade her… "Mum?" she says surprised. I stop thinking about my troubles for a second and look at Lizzie, her mother never calls her. Ever. There's something wrong. All I can think about is how I can protect Lizzie, what I can do to help. Whatever the situation is, I am going to be there for her that is for sure. I slowly move away from the door and towards her, half expecting her to turn and tell me to go. She doesn't, she looks at me, her beautiful brown eyes burning into mine. There is something in them I have never seen before in Elizabeth Bennet.

Fear.

"Ok mum just slow down, what is it? Is it dad, is he ok? … Lydia's what? … What do you mean she left the wedding? … Left with who?" I look at her obvious relief her parents are ok, but there is still anxiety and concern for that brat Lydia. What has she done now? Probably got pissed and passed out somewhere. "George who?"

My stomach clenches, _not him_ , please not him, not again. He wouldn't dare. Not to Lizzie. Lizzie confirms all my fears with one look. I know that look, I had seen it in the mirror the morning after Georgiana's confession. I grab her hand, she lets me take it. I need to calm down this anger boiling up in me. I won't be able to think straight and help Lizzie if I'm too angry. I need to be strong for her now. "Ok. Where's dad now then?" She's squeezing my hand, she doesn't like the answer. I can probably guess exactly where her dad is right now. "I'm on my way now." She says. I grab Lizzie's coat, she'll be cold and in shock. I turn to the dish on the side where I leave my keys, I had left my car in her parking spot last night. I'd gone in a taxi to Charlies, so I could have a drink at the wedding. Yeah that didn't work out too well.

She lowers the phone and looks at me desperately. I try to smile and silently tell her it will all be ok, she can see straight through me. She knows Wickham's past. I had made sure of that. She knows what he is capable of. "Come on I'll take you, you're in no fit state to drive." I'm still holding her hand, so I gently pull her towards the door wrapping her coat around her trembling shoulders.

"You can't drive, you've been drinking." She argues.

She can't have been watching me as close as I was watching her tonight. "No I only had one, I just hung on to it a long time. We're good." I reassure her. She doesn't argue then, just looks at me with a vague expression like she hasn't fully understood what I have said. She follows me as I lock up the flat behind us and lead her round to my car. I can't help but think back to this morning when I left here. Was it really just a few hours ago? So much has happened. It seems like a lifetime ago. I was so happy. I felt like I had everything I needed in my life. I felt complete. Lizzie completed me, there is no doubt in mind she is my other half, she is my soul mate and any other cliché way of expressing it, but that's what she is. I can't lose her. I won't.

We reach the car. I lead her round to the passenger seat still holding her hand and open the door ushering her inside. She hesitates for a moment looking up at me, her forehead is crinkled and she has a little line in the middle of her eyebrows. Her mouth opens, she's going to tell me this is my fault; that this is a bad idea, she doesn't want to go with me. How could she? I'm the one who caused all of this, after all that had just gone off between us, how could I have imagined she would be happy travelling with me in the same car? She must hate me. I open my own mouth ready to tell her I'll call her a taxi, I'll leave her alone, when she squeezes my hand and climbs into the car. I close the door and let out a huge breath. As I walk around to my side of the car, I will myself to stay strong. I had to put aside my personal fears about our relationship and just be there for her.

The drive to her parent's house is quiet, no traffic on the road it being the early hours. Lizzie is sobbing into her clenched fist and just staring out into the dark, I'm lost. I've never seen her like this, I don't know what to say. I know how she feels, I have had the same feelings. I have been through this. I _should_ know what to say. I _should_ know how to help. All I can think about right now is my own guilt. This is all my fault. I take my left hand off the wheel and bite into my thumbnail, it is a habit, a bad one, when I need to relieve some stress. How am I going to face her parents? Tell them I knew this would happen. He'd done it before. I should have dealt with it, but bloody Aunt Catherine and her brushing it under the carpet attitude.

Lizzie leans over and pulls my thumb out of my mouth surprising me with her warm touch. My neck snaps automatically to look at her, "it's not your fault." She whispers. How does she do that? How did she know exactly what I'm thinking? Even now she's supporting me, when it should be the other way around. I squeeze her hand, about to argue back that it is most certainly my fault and I will be fixing this, when she closes her eyes, "she's fifteen Nick. She might act the part, like she's up for anything, the partying and the drinking, but she's still fifteen, she's just a kid. And he… if he's…" Her words catch in her throat and she begins to cry again. I look back at the road. I hate to see any woman cry, whenever I saw Georgiana or my mother upset, it made me feel so helpless. Seeing Lizzie, seeing the woman I love most in the world, like this. It makes me want to rip Wickham's head off for putting her through this.

"It _is_ my fault Elizabeth. I should have told people about Wickham, about what he is capable of, maybe then Lydia would have stayed away from him." There, I have said it, I have confessed my worst fear. If she didn't hate me already after everything that had been said in the flat, she surely will now.

"I told you, this is not your fault. I knew too, I could have also warned Lydia. She's so stubborn she would have gone for him even more. You were protecting Georgiana, just as I was. The only person to blame in this whole sorry mess, is George Wickham, and maybe Lydia herself a tiny bit for being stupid enough in the first place to go with him." She starts crying again and I hand her a tissue from my pocket.

Before I can think of what to say next, we're at Longbourn. I know now I'm going to be the one to solve this. I'm going to find her dad and stop him doing anything stupid. Then I'm going to find Wickham and make sure I do something incredibly stupid. It will sure as hell make me feel a whole lot better. I need to work out what I am going to tell Lizzie, she'll know I'm planning something if I take off, and she'll try to stop me. I can't let that happen so I'm going to have to let her think something else. There is only one sure fire way I can think of making it so she doesn't try to stop me, or worse: follow me. I'm really not sure I can even bring myself to say the words. This is for her, I keep telling myself. To protect her.

I stop the car looking up at the house, every light is on. I can only imagine the uproar and hysteria going on inside. I sideways glance at Lizzie. She let go of my hand when we stopped and now she's playing with the tissue I'd given her, shredding it, leaving bits all over the carpet in the foot-well, normally I'd be irritated but right now she could set the car on fire and I wouldn't give a shit, as long as she isn't in it. She opens her mouth to speak and I have to cut her off. "Listen Elizabeth, I've been thinking, maybe we should spend some time apart, you need to be with your family and I need time to think and get my head together. I won't expect you in the office for the next few days while you get all this under control." I tell her gently. She looks even more hurt and fresh tears threaten, she slowly nods biting her lip.

I knew then I was probably sealing my own fate. I had actually broken her heart. She had told me her true feelings over and over again. Through all of our declarations and promises. The speeches I had made tonight and previously, it was all for naught, because now when she needs me most I am leaving her. She won't know why, she will only see it as rejection, as a coward's way out. She will probably despise me and quite rightly so. I love her and I am leaving her to face this alone. But I can't let her know what I am planning. I can't risk her finding out and wanting to come along. I have to deal with Wickham alone. Like I should have done three years ago. I should never have listened to Catherine, I should never have thrown Georgie to them either, maybe if it had just been the two of us we would have come to a different conclusion. Maybe I could have made her see it wasn't right to let him get away with it, she could have told the police a different story and he would have been locked up by now and out of all of our lives. I couldn't let anyone go through what I had gone through. The fact that Lizzie is now going through it with her own baby sister is hurting me so much I can hardly breathe, the anger consuming me and threatening to spill over. That's why I can't have her with me.

I don't want her to witness me unravelling. I don't want her to get mixed up in it all, I don't want to lose it with her and take some of the uncontrollable rage out on her, it is better for her to be hating me here then go through that. Here I knew she was safe and I could concentrate on getting her sister and father back to her. Explanations can come later, if she still doesn't think she can be with me after all this, then I will not blame her, I will let her go. I would never stop wanting her back, and I would never ever stop loving her, but I loved her enough to let her be happy, for a chance at a normal life, to have all the things she had told me about tonight. The idea of Lizzie not eventually being a bride and becoming a mother haunts me. I can't allow it. If she can't have those things with me because of my sheer stubbornness and pride, then she will have it with someone else. She is right, I can't keep her with me, it's too selfish, she needs to live, to love and be loved.

She gets up to get out of the car and I need to give her something to let her know I'm still here. Here for her. "Lizzie," I start, she stops, her hand on the handle, without turning back to me. "I know… I know things aren't great at the moment. I mean even before this mess… I just want you to know that despite what we have going on personally, privately, I'm still your boss and if you need anything just call me ok?" She nods again, this time opening the car door. She doesn't look back at me. She walks calmly to the front door and into the flapping arms of her hysterical mother who is wailing on the door step. I grit my teeth and do the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I drive away.

From her. From my love. From my Lizzie.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen: Lizzie**

Mum manages to stop crying long enough to ask me "who was that driving? I don't recognise the car? Is it a boyfriend?" I lead her into the kitchen to make everyone a cup of tea, because tea solves everything. Putting two sugars in my mums, I silently wonder if we have any Valium and if she would notice me slipping it into her tea.

"No mum, as I told you at the wedding, I'm single." _I am now_. "If you must know, it was Mr Darcy, he… He gave me a lift home from the wedding and was just dropping me off when you rang, so he volunteered to drive me here."

"Well I never would have thought it." She says her hand on her chest like she just witnessed a miracle. I sigh to myself and turn back to my task. I hated the fact everyone only saw what they expected to see. The more people thought of him of not having any kind of heart and feelings, the more he acted like it was true. If they could just see past the face he puts on for everyone else and see the glimpses of the real Nick like I had, they would all think very differently. He is a wonderful man. I had been blind in the beginning but during the past six months I have had my eyes opened and I know the potential he has. If he just gave himself a chance to be the man I know he is. He thinks he isn't allowed to be happy so he won't allow himself to be. My head is buzzing with conflicting emotions. I want to stay with him so badly and make him realise that potential, knowing we can be so happy, and at the same time I hate him for making me feel like that, like I owe it to him to stick around. How long for? I could be waiting forever for him to finally give in and realise the most important thing in his life is not Rosings. "Mr Darcy? That stuck up snob doing something charitable for another human being. Whatever next? Ooh Lizzie you don't think he's interested do you? He must be loaded!"

I flew round gawking at my mother's opinion of the man I love. "Mother! He's not like that, he's not that bad. He's … nice actually. But no, you don't have to worry about anymore weddings." I grip the handle of the kettle to stop myself from breaking down again. "I don't think I'll ever see that man again." I say it in my head but it comes out of my mouth. Mum doesn't comment, I doubt she even heard me. I put on a brave face and turn to face her. "So come on then fill me in. I need to know everything mum. Including most importantly where dad is." I come out of the kitchen and find Jane standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Jane! Oh God Jane what are you doing here? This is your wedding night, you shouldn't be here sorting out this mess." I feel the tears welling up in my eyes again, 'a mess.' What a mess my life is right now. The tears spring free and I collapse down onto the stairs sobbing uncontrollably. I haven't cried like this since I was tiny, but now I can't stop. It is like every emotion I have kept locked inside has finally broken free. I am gasping trying to catch my breath. Jane is immediately at my side, thankfully sending mum upstairs, and looking more stricken at the sight of me finally crying, then of the fact our youngest sister is missing. I sit on the stair hanging on to the banister.

"Oh my god Lizzie, what on earth is the matter? I have never seen you like this, this upset. This can't all be because of Lydia, please, please tell me what's wrong, tell me how to fix this." Jane begs. The ghost of Nick's words come back at me, haunting, taunting me. A fresh bout of tears tumbles down my face, my fingers helpless to stop them. "Oh … Jane … I … I don't know… where to start." I manage between my chest rising and falling to spit out a few words. Jane sits down beside me, holding me.

"Talk to me Lizzie, tell me what's wrong. Start at the beginning." She pleads. So I do, we sit on those stairs, for what seems like hours, I finally calm down long enough to confess a hearts worth of secrets. The truth about Wickham, about how I knew, about her and Charlie, and Darcy breaking them up, what a bitch Caroline is, what she had said to me. But I still haven't mentioned the real truth, the real reason I am a dripping sobbing mess.

"But Nick, he, he can't have done that and said those things. He was so good to us, to me, he brought Charlie home. He told Charlie to ring me, that's how we got back together. I would have never even known he still had feelings for me or me for him, if Nick hadn't forced us together. And George Wickham. I know I don't know him like you do, but I can't believe he is truly that wicked. I have to believe that Lydia has some part in this, that she told him she was old enough or something, you know what she's like, and once she gets scared she'll tell him the truth and he'll bring her home. He can't expect to go back to work, to live a normal life otherwise can he? I mean we don't have his side of the story where Georgiana is concerned."

Suddenly feeling protective of Georgiana I set Jane straight. "Jane I know it's the truth. I told George Lydia's age myself. Georgiana wouldn't lie and neither would Nick, not to me." I assure her. I can feel Jane staring at me. I raise my blurry eyes.

"Lizzie, what aren't you telling me here? There's more I know."

 _Deep breath in_.

"Nick and I, we, we have been seeing each other. Since I got back from Derbyshire." I confess.

 _Deep breath out_.

Jane jumps up holding onto the banister for support. "Derbyshire! But that was … that was six months ago! Lizzie how could you have been together that long and no one say anything? Caroline would have broken her neck to tell everyone, and mother, God she would have taken out an ad in the paper." She cries incredulously.

"No one knew." I whisper. Ashamed. "He wanted us to be a secret and I let him keep us as one. We didn't tell a sole. We were really careful." I leave out the fact Georgiana knew, I know it will kill Jane that I had told someone else's sister before my own.

She slides back down on to the step. "I can't believe it. You and Mr Darcy. But you're so … and he's so…you're so different! Polar opposites. I wouldn't have put you together in a million years. So that was him, then, now dropping you off? He wouldn't stay with you, through this, through a family crisis like this? Did he have somewhere else he needed to be, why didn't he stay with you? If you are together, shouldn't he be here with you? I don't understand, maybe if I ask Charlie to-"

"Enough Jane! That's enough. He … we ... He just, he just needs to get somethings straight, his priorities for one. We're taking a little time away from each other while he does that. But I'm not walking away from him Jane, not yet. I love him." It's true. The more I think about it, from the second he took my hand in the flat to the moment he started biting on his nail anxiously, I knew there was no walking away from him. I need him too much there is no doubt. I will give him the time he needs to realise it too and then we will start making this work.

"Love him? Lizzie, really? You're in love with Mr Darcy! When did this happen?"

I chuckled to myself. "Well I'm not sure, but I think it might have been when I first saw his estate at Pemberley." I teased. It may be the wrong time to crack a joke but I feel the air needs clearing. The house is full of enough female hormones gone wild without us adding to them. She laughs and hugs me tight. I miss Jane so much. "So what's to be done? Where's dad?" I sniff.

Jane rubs her hands over her face, she looks tired, today had been her wedding day after all; she's probably exhausted. "We don't know, as soon as alarms were raised at the wedding that she had gone and Kitty confessed her telling her she was running away with George, dad shot off. God only knows where, he certainly didn't. I think he was heading to Wickham's place, Richard Fitzwilliam gave him the address, we haven't heard from him since." She yawns.

"Oh Jane, you must be shattered and having to face all this alone, I wish I hadn't left early. I should've been here. I could have calmed dad down. Where's Charlie?"

"He's talking to the doctor, they're trying to get something for mum to calm her nerves."

On cue mother bursts from the living room wailing and dropping tissues in her wake. "Oh where is your father? Why isn't he home yet? If he finds that Wickham he'll try to fight him, and he doesn't realise he's not as young as he used to be and then he'll be hurt or killed. And then where shall we be?" She continues balling in the kitchen while Jane and I roll eyes at one another.

Jane takes my hand squeezing it tight. "I'm so glad you're here Lizzie. I know I'm older, but you always know what to do."

"I'll sort it, first things first, let's get mum knocked out and in bed and then you and Charlie can get some rest too."

Hours later I sit at the kitchen table staring at my dad's chair, wishing he was sat there mumbling advice from behind his newspaper. The house is eerily quiet. Everyone is finally in bed. I couldn't sleep. I can't bare this. We haven't heard from anyone. Dad, Lydia, Wickham. If we just knew what was happening ... I stare at my phone trying the numbers again, as I have been doing all morning, first Lydia, then dads and then George. No answer from any. I hope they are together and then at the same time that dad doesn't find them. No. That would leave Lydia with _him_. I have so many conflicting thoughts running through my head I can't see straight. Mum is still under sedation. Jane and Charlie have gone to Netherfield to get some rest and prepare to cancel their honeymoon if we have no word today. Kitty has cried herself to sleep and Mary has just lay there in her box room she has to herself, in the dark staring at the wall. I don't know who I am most concerned for.

I am still holding my phone, my finger scrolls to Nick's number, and as if they have a mind of their own I find myself typing out a message.

Me: _Hi_

Almost immediately my phone beeps with his reply.

Nick: _Hi. How are things at home?_

Me: _About as bad as they can get. Dads missing, mums sedated, Kitty in hysterics. Mary may or may not even be aware Lydia's gone, Jane and Charlie have spent their wedding night here, and are currently considering cancelling their honeymoon._

Nick: _What about you?_

I rest my head in my hands, he's thinking about me. He does care. In his own mixed up Darcy way, he does care about me.

Me: _I just want my dad home, I can't think without him here, I can't worry about Lydia while there are other people I'm worrying about._

Nick: _Your dad will be ok. Who else are you worried about?_

I hesitate before telling the truth.

Me: _You._

I wait for the reply but it never comes. I pushed too far. He wanted time apart and I lasted six hours. Now I'm bombarding him with text messages. I'm such an idiot. I should be worrying about the fifteen year old girl that has absconded with a thirty year old man, not worrying about my relationship or lack thereof.

"Lizzie?" I look up at the familiar voice.

There at the kitchen door is dad. I jump to my feet and wrap my arms around him as soon as I reach him. I lean back checking him all over for signs of trauma but he see he's good. He looks tired, but other than that, like my dad. "Dad, thank God! Don't you ever do that to me again James Bennet!"

"Lizzie calm down girl you sound too much like your mother, and we both know you're supposed to take after me and be the normal one!" He chuckles. I laugh, and then burst into tears. I'm so happy he's home. Now we can all worry about Lydia, together, sanely, under one roof. "Hey, hey, hey what's all this?" He hugs me to him. "My Lizzie doesn't cry. Come on, I'm home now. Tell me what I've missed here." While I'm filling him in on the drugs mum has been given and how Mary is probably upstairs planning what she's going to wear to his funeral, Jane and Charlie burst in.

"Dad! We saw the car from the road, oh god thank goodness you're home!" Jane hugs him while Charlie shakes his hand and turns to make us all a cup of tea, I love Charlie. "But what are you doing here? I mean, why did you come home? Did you find them or not?" I scowl at Jane. Jesus we've just got him home, let's not barrage him with questions now. Charlie shrugs and offers me a cup of tea.

"It was Mr Darcy."

I drop the mug in my hand, smashing it and spilling tea all over the floor. Jane eyes go wide looking at me. "Shit!" My dad scowls at me. "Sorry dad." We always have to apologise for swearing. Bennet ladies never swear. "I'll just clean this up." I drop to my hands and knees under the table out of sight and then pause. Mr Darcy? Nick? What could he have to do with this? Through the mopping up, I hear my dad continue.

"Yes Mr Darcy found me, I don't know how. He must have been following the same trail of disgruntled ex-girlfriends, employers and bookies, as me, but found me he did and he told me he would handle it." I stick my head out from under the table and find Jane staring down at me amazed. "He told me to go home and be with you girls and your mother because you needed me and I should be with you. He was right of course, I never should have left without a proper plan. When you have daughters of your own you'll understand. I told Mr Darcy this too. He said he has a younger sister who he had to raise and he knew how I was feeling. That he could think clearer so he would take it from here."

"That's so like Nick." Charlie interrupts. "He'd do anything for Georgiana. He's like her mother, father and brother all wrapped into one. He's wicked smart too. That's what makes him so good at his job. He'll find her James, don't worry, if anyone can find Lydia, Nick will."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty: Mr Darcy**

My fingers are wrapped tightly around my phone. I should reply, she just told me she's worried about me. That's not the actions of someone who just ended things. If there is still a chance, I should be there with her now, making it work. But no, I am a man of his word and I had given my word to James Bennet. If I ever wanted to have any part of Lizzie's future, making an enemy of her beloved father was not a good start. No I will do as I said, I will find Lydia and get her home. Finish Wickham once and for all and everything will be alright again. _Won't it?_

I bang the steering wheel. I have hired a car so Wickham won't recognise it. I have been parked outside the run-down Youngs' B&B for two hours now, but I have it on good authority that a 'lovely young newlywed couple' has just checked in, and she matches Lydia's description very well. Pretending to be a friend wanting to surprise them, I sit here waiting for them to come out the front of the building. Hopefully I will catch Lydia alone so I can persuade her how wrong this is and get her to come home. On second thoughts, I'd like to see Wickham alone just as much. I ball my hands into fists thinking about how much pain I want to cause him. This had been four years coming. Too long!

My phone beeps. I pull it out, there's a text from Lizzie. I think about not opening it. Not wanting to know what it says, but I can't help myself.

Lizzie: _Thank you for sending dad home_.

Oh god Lizzie, don't thank me, don't you know I'd do anything for you?

Me: _You don't have to thank me. I'll find them Lizzie. I promise._

Lizzie: _I know you will x_

I try to ignore the little 'x' on the end. It's the first one she's sent me since before the wedding fiasco. I can't believe there is hope, in case I'm just setting myself up for a bigger fall. I have done some real thinking while I sit in this car. This time it has to be on her terms. If she will forgive me and take my sorry hide back, I will do everything her way. I will find a way to have both. To make Catherine see that it isn't the end of the world if I don't marry someone in our circle. Right now I'm not ready for that yet. I have to sort out this Wickham business, and get myself sorted at work and then I will be ready to do whatever it takes to get us back to where we were.

No not where we _were_ , better than that, real.

A girls laugh rings out, and I shuffle down in my seat, hat pulled down waiting to see if it truly is Lydia. My heart misses a beat when I realise it is. Wickham is behind her. Not quite the ideal scenario, but I can't let them go now. I've come too far. I'm not going back without Lizzie's little sister. I slowly slid out of the car trying not to face them until the last minute, they haven't noticed me. I make my way up to the hotel at a snail's pace, not wanting to startle them or cause them to run, I have no idea if he has a car nearby. Once I am almost on top of them, I let my head go up and look him in the eye, smiling. "Hello George."

"Shit!"

"Mr Darcy?" Lydia looks at me puzzled.

"Hello Lydia. How are you? Are you ok?" I try to keep my tone normal while I look her over for some sort of sign of, I don't know what. She looks her normal cheerful spoilt brat self. Part of me wants to leave her, but I know that's wrong. She is fifteen, a child, she had believed everything this cretin had told her, and now comes the hard part, getting her to see how wrong it is and return with me. That is plan A, if that doesn't work, I have the cheque book as a fall back. My conversations over the past twelve hours with a few of Wickham's bookies left me with no doubt he needs the money. It is a messy way of doing things and I really hope it won't come to that, but the way that soppy girl is gazing up at him, I don't think there is a chance in hell of her returning with me off her own back.

"I'm fine! How's Lizzie? I saw you two leaving together." She moves her shoulders back and forth in a childish manner. My eyes flick to Wickham. I can see his eyebrows dip, he is trying to figure out what Lizzie and I could be doing together no doubt. Time to change the subject I think.

"She's fine Lydia, but she's worried about you, your mother and father are too, Kitty and Jane. Even Mary."

"Hmph! I don't care! I'm having a ball." She gushes. "I'm dropping out of school and George and I are going to travel."

I try not to laugh at her immaturity and throw George a look. "Is that right? Well that sounds awfully exciting, do you think you could just give them a ring and let them know you are at least still alive Lydia? Surely you owe them much, at least just to put your mother's nerves at rest."

She rolls her eyes and starts searching through her bag. "Oh all alright, I'll just ... Wait, where's my phone? George do you know where it is? I had it last night." She questions him. A faint flush touches Wickham's cheeks, sneaky git, he's taken her phone. No wonder no-one's calls were getting through.

I hold mine out. "You can borrow mine if you'd like Lydia?"

"Lyd's come on we haven't time for this, we have to set off." Wickham stands in front her grabbing her arm and pulling her back towards the hotel.

I step to the other side, holding her elbow gently. "Come on George, it'll only take two minutes, just let her ring her parents let them know she's ok, while we have a little chat over here. Do you think?"

His face slowly turns from anger to a smirk, he knows what's coming next. I wish I could do anything other than pay him off right now, but if that's what it is going to take to get him to stay away from Lizzie's family, it will be worth every penny. He has no true idea how much I am worth. No one does, not even Georgiana, for reasons like this. My dad had left me private accounts only a few people knew about, the money to be used for the up keep of the properties and raising Georgiana. George has no idea, dad hadn't shared that much with him. Blood was always thicker than water. Lydia looks to him asking for permission.

He grins at her. "Yeah go on then, give them a ring and tell them all about our adventure. I'll have a little chat with Darcy." As soon as we out of her sight his smile drops and he looks more irritated. Surely Lydia Bennet is not too much for George Wickham. Again I restrain myself from leaving them to it. They deserve each other.

We make our way over to the side of the hotel out of the view of the road and Lydia. "So Darcy, you and Lizzie eh?" He wiggles his eyebrows up and down smirking.

"That's enough Wickham. How much? How much are we talking, for you to forget Lydia or any other Bennet exist? Come to think about it, any girl under eighteen?"

He rub his hands together and then looks like he's thinking it over. "Well now that's a tall order don't you think? For something like that, I think we're talking at least six figures, are we not?"

Smarmy git.

"Fine. Done." I take out my cheque book and scribble out a figure to a name I never thought I'd have to deal with again. He looks angry with himself. He's realised he could have asked for more. I won't give him the chance to change his mind or make any more demands, this time was the last time. "Here." I thrust it at him. "Now get your stuff and get the hell out of here, no tearful goodbyes just leave, quick before she sees you."

He snatches the cheque and looks longingly at it. "There's the hotel bill." He adds, placing the cheque safely in his inside pocket.

I blow out a breath through my teeth, shaking my head and putting my hands on my hips rather than leaving them to hang by my side and open to the temptation of hitting him. I had come this far without having to resort to that. "You really are a bastard you know that? I'll sort the damn bill, just get out of my sight."

Amazingly he did just that. A big smile on his face. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I have done it. I have Lydia safe. Wickham is gone and I haven't even lowered myself to his level and hit him. Lizzie will be proud.

I find Lydia playing on her phone. "Where's George? I don't know what's going on at home, but Lizzie was freaking out, then dad snatched the phone off her and told me I had to come home immediately or never at all. So I told him I was…"

"He's gone Lydia." I interrupt. "He said something about having a better offer." It's harsh and a lie. But I have a feeling the truth will hurt much more. She was just a bargaining chip from the start. I lead her towards the car. "Come on let's get you home."

"What? I don't understand, he's…he's gone? He said we were going away together forever." She looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes and I feel bad for her.

"I'm sure he did Lydia. But he was lying, sometimes men do that. It's bad and sick, but its better you learn now. Right? You can go home and have the love and support of your family." I tell her.

She stares out at the view of the sea for a long time, before she finally looks back at me, shrugging her shoulders and straightening her back. "Yes well his loss, obviously, yes take me home Mr Darcy!"

I sile to myself. She would get over this just as Georgiana had. She maybe a silly girl but she has her older sister's resilience. I pay the hotel bill, gather her few bits and pieces, trying not to notice the unmade bed, that is a conversation I shouldn't be privy to. I grab my phone and start to text Lizzie, before stopping myself and texting Charlie. He can come and meet me with Jane and take Lydia. I am going to Pemberley for a few days to sort out my head. To think about what I need to do to get myself together and be a better man for Lizzie, because she deserves a better man. She deserves the best man. Maybe I am not perfect but I will make damn sure I am perfect for her.

A week later I'm back in my big office. Instead of working though, I'm staring at the picture of Georgiana on my desk, only it's not her smiling face I'm seeing. In my head it's Lizzie.

It's always Lizzie.

She still hasn't returned to work despite Lydia being home. Then again I had told her she could take as long as she wanted. I had made this clear to Caroline too. Unfortunately she knew all the story as Charlie had decided to confide in his caring sister. She is walking around the place like she owns it. No doubt just dying for a chance to fill in Lady Catherine if she hasn't already. _Aunt Catherine_ , the thought brings me back down to earth. What am I going to do? I want Lizzie. I need Lizzie. I love Lizzie. But I can't give up years and years of hard work.

I can hear noises outside, raised voices. Richard? What has him shouting in the office? I walk to the door out into the corridor and immediately know why. Wickham.

"What the hell are you doing here Wickham?" I shout grabbing Richard, exchanging glances with him making sure he is ok.

Wickham stumbles towards me with a lopsided grin. "Now, now Nicholas that's not a very nice way to talk to a friend is it?"

He's drunk. He's probably already gone through the money I gave him and back for more, well he's not getting it this time. I'd call the police whether they could do anything or not, at least everyone would know what kind of man he is. "You're no friend of mine - or Richards - Wickham, so get the hell out of here, before you make an even worse show of yourself and have to be removed."

"Shush, shush! I'm not here for you. I'm looking for my little friend Lizzie," he slurs. I stiffen instantly at the mention of her name. "I thought she'd be up here. You know, _servicing_ the senior partners." He leans in to me, his alcohol fuelled breath in my face. "Was it you _and_ Richard, or just you?" he whispers loudly.

I lunge forward ready to wipe that smile off his fucking face, but Richard's strong arms hold me back, my hands are shaking.

"Nick leave it, he's not worth it." Rich growls in my ear. He's struggling to control himself too. I knew Lizzie had become a favourite of his. He might have been interested in her himself had he seen her first. I thank god everyday he didn't go to that graduation ceremony. I'm not vain enough to think she would have chosen me over him. He is matched almost equally to me in every way, the difference being he would have been open about a relationship with her from the beginning. I knew she didn't feel that way about him, she had told me herself, but it still didn't stop me being jealous every time they share a joke –or a dance- together. "Get out Wickham. Now!" He bellows.

A crowd has gathered around us, and I hope people have thought about calling security before they came to watch the show.

Wickham has ignored Richard and comes back towards me. "Oh is she not here then? Shame, oh well, to be honest she is a bit old for me, you know me Darcy, I like 'em young." He sneers. "How is Georgiana these days?"

I strain against my cousins hold. Richard swears under his breath. "Ok, _now_ you can hit him."

He lets go of me and before Wickham even knows what hit him, I do. My fist and the four years of pent up anger connect with his laughing jaw, knocking him off his feet, he lands in a pile at our feet. I am not done. I pick him up setting him back on his feet and then smack him again, this time I hear the crack of his nose breaking when my fist hits it. Blood spurts all over my white shirt, and all I can think is 'you've ruined Lizzie's favourite shirt.' That earns him a punch in the guts. He is on the floor again. Rich pulls me back saying he has had enough. Then he kicks him in the nuts for good measure. I shout for someone to call security if they haven't already, and have him removed.

I know people have heard what he had said about Lizzie, and my reaction, it wouldn't take a genius to work it out. Let alone a floor full of very intelligent people, but right now I don't care. I feel fantastic and all I want, is to be with Lizzie. Like right now. I turn back to my office to get out of their as fast as I can, when I see Aunt Catherine. She's coming out of human resources. She looks at me with a cold hard stare, like she gave me when she scolded us as children. It was enough to have you running and hiding under your bed, Richard and I knew it well. I brace myself for the lecture that never comes, she turns and goes back to her office.

I catch up with Rich. "What was that all about? Why was Catherine in HR?"

"I thought that was strange too, so I asked the girls in there, apparently she was after Lizzie's file."

"What does she want with that? Probably scanning it for any criminal convictions or her medical records." I laugh, suddenly feeling so much lighter.

We get to my office and he follows me in, coming and standing in front of my desk as I eagerly gather things into my case. "Nick, you know I love you as a cousin, and one of my closest friends, so before I say this, don't hate me." He looks at me sincerely. I nod. "What the hell are you playing at?" he demands. I stand stunned, I want to say I don't know what you're talking about, but I know exactly what he's talking about. "You have this beautiful girl who loves you." I look at him. _He knows she loves me?_ "Yeah I know. I have friends too you know? She loves you Nick, not Rosings, not Pemberley - you. They just happen to come with you. You know that right? You know she's not after your money, that she probably loves you in spite of it, if anything. She agrees to you keeping her a secret for all that time, for what? Because this is where I get confused. That little show you just put on for our workforce proves to me that you feel exactly the same way. So, what are you playing at?"

I sigh exasperated. "I don't know Rich. I _do_ love her, I love her so much I just beat up a man for her. Me. Nick Darcy; quiet, reserved, gentleman, beat the shit out of that trash and I'd like to say it was because of Georgiana but I really don't think she even came into it. I heard what he said about Lizzie and I saw red. I can do _that_ , but I can't tell Aunt Catherine how I really feel about her."

"Why? You're a big boy Nick, she can't stop you from seeing each other." He argues.

"She could force Lizzie to quit." I admit.

"She could try, but you and I both know if Lizzie wants to stay, she will. Caroline couldn't force her out and neither will Catherine. So why don't we cut this crap and get to the real reason."

"Ok!" I sit down, building my confidence before I confess. "She could cut me off. There I said it." He looks at me confused, so I try to explain. "It's not the money. I don't need the money. I don't even need the job, but I _want_ it. I worked too damn hard for it and I'm not prepared to give it up."

He sighs and sits down too. "But are you prepared to give up Lizzie, Nick? Because that's what this comes down to. Which one are you prepared to give up?" he stares at me waiting for an answer. I can't speak, I'm not sure I can breathe. I'm too wrapped up in that simple question and how to answer it. That's not true. I _know_ the answer. Every part of me is screaming the answer. I just can't say it out loud, because it will change everything. He knows I'm delaying so he continues. "If you're so convinced you can't have both you need to choose. I won't make the decision for you, so don't ask me. But I will say this for you. There are plenty of other companies Nick, but there's only one Lizzie Bennet. You were prepared to fight Wickham for her, are you prepared to fight Rosings and Aunt Catherine for her too?"

I look at Richard, always the voice of reason. He won't tell me what to do, but in that little speech he'd laid it all out for me to see. He is right. There is only one question I have to ask myself: which am I prepared to lose, Rosings or Lizzie? There is only one answer. The one I had always known. The one my head and heart are now finally in agreement over. It's time I grow a pair and say it out loud.

"I want Lizzie."


	21. Chapter 21

**Ok, so we're approaching the end of the story now. Only a few chapters left. I hope people won't be too disappointed with the outcome. I have loved all the responses I have received, good and bad. It makes me want to do it all again! Maybe Emma next? We shall see.**

 **Chapter Twenty-one: Lizzie**

"Eliza! Well, well, well we have been a naughty girl haven't we?" _Is she drunk?_

"Caroline? What the hell are you talking about? What do you want?"

"I want to know what sad story you spun Nick to get him to think he's in love with you. That's what!" she spits. I pause, did she just say love? How would she know if Nick loved me? How did she know anything about us? "I thought that would shut you up."

"Caroline I don't know what gave you the crazy idea that Mr Darcy and I are involved but you are very wrong. He's my boss, a work colleague, nothing more." I lie.

"Yeah well that _work colleague_ just beat ten shades of shit out of George Wickham for bad mouthing you, in front of most of the staff at Rosings and Lady Catherine."

Wait ... He loves me. He beat up George for me. In front of everyone. Everyone knows about us. Everyone. Lady Catherine. Shit. Lady Catherine. "Lady Catherine was there, was she? Why are you telling me this Caroline? If Mr Darcy does supposedly love me like you say he does, why would you of all people be telling me?"

"Don't act so innocent with me. I knew this is what you and your family have been after since the beginning. I just thought I'd tell you that he'll have nothing now. You know that don't you? Because of you, Catherine will cut him off. He'll lose Pemberley, Georgiana will lose her home. What will she think of you then? Do you think Nick will want you then? No! So do the right thing, step aside now. Step aside and let him be happy. With someone who is fitting for his class." She slurs.

This is what she wants: him.

"Someone like you, you mean?" I snap. "No Caroline I will not step aside. I have done nothing wrong" - except cause an insanely wealthy lake owning hot lawyer fall in love with me- why then am I so happy? I should be hating myself right now, feeling guilty and all I can think of is, he loves me! He beat up Wickham for me. In front of his Aunt. This is huge! I hang up on Caroline without as much as a goodbye. I won't listen to anymore of her drabble. I need someone I could trust who will tell me the truth. I need Richard. He answers on the second ring.

"Lizzie! How's my favourite legal secretary? You coming back to work anytime soon, the place is quiet without you."

"Yeah, that's not what I hear?"

"Oh the grapevine has already reached you then, I think the last I heard was Darcy had Wickham hanging out the window by his ankles while I removed his eyes." He chuckles.

I laugh, yes I had made the right choice ringing Richard. Other than Charlie, he is Nick's closest friend and his cousin. "Not exactly, Caroline just rang." I admit.

I hear him sigh. "Really, well that doesn't surprise me. What was she doing? Staking her claim, demanding you surrender and let her take her prize?"

"Something like that. Listen Richard, joking aside, is it true? Did Nick hit George?"

"Hit him? They all but carried him out on a stretcher. It was a joy to watch I have to say." He replies a little too enthusiastically.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe he did that. Why?"

"You know why Lizzie, or I'm sure you wouldn't be calling me. But sure if you need someone to say it; he loves you. Lizzie he loves you enough to risk everything."

I audibly gasp. "I don't want that, I mean I want him to love me, not that part, I mean the 'risk everything' part. I don't want him to lose Pemberley over something as insignificant as me. If Georgiana loses her home and her trust fund because of me, she'll resent me forever, and then what sort of future would we have? There wouldn't be one. How could there be? He would hate me." It feels so good so air my fears.

"Whoa! Whoa! Lizzie slow down, what are you going on about? No one's losing their home. What would give you a silly idea like that? … Oh." He swears under his breath and sighs. " _Caroline_. I love her, but sometimes she can be a real bitch. Lizzie listen to me, no one will lose their home. Nick and Georgiana's estate and money, is completely separate to Rosings. It was left to them by their parents, and you won't cause them to lose it. You hear me?" he tries to reassure me. "The only thing that was ever in question here was Darcy's place at Rosings. I think it's time I tell you a story Lizzie. You see Darcy has always wanted Rosings, our uncle, Lady Catherine's husband, worked hard to create the reputation it has today. When he died, Darcy promised him he would carry on that reputation. But he took it even further. He learned fast and worked hard, slowly he built it up in to even more. He has a work force who all respect, and like, him. He never had anything in his life, bar Georgiana that ever came close to how much he loved this place." He pauses. "Then he met you."

"That's not fair. I don't want to make him choose. I don't want him to pick me over his dreams, I'm supposed to be part of them and support him, not cause him to be miserable the rest of his life."

"Lizzie think about it for a moment, will you? Ok so you walk away and let him run Rosings one day, do you think he'd be happy, truly? Without that special person to share it with what's the use in having it? Without you, it's all nothing to him, just a building. Without you to come home to each night, none of it means anything. If he chooses you, he can fight for this place, with you by his side fighting with him, every step of the way. And if he loses it, then he loses it. He comes home to you and you build him back up again. That's what you do when you love someone."

I swallow hard. "But it still comes down to choice doesn't it?"

"It always did Lizzie, the moment he took himself off to Derbyshire to 'accidentally bump into you.'" He jokes. I start to interrupt but he continues. "Yeah I knew about it then. I suspected from the day you came to work here and he started those little trips downstairs. I'm just glad you met, Lizzie, you are so good for him. You make him smile. He laughs. Please give him a chance."

"It's just so hard Richard. We're so … we're so different. How can it work? How can I be sure he really loves me? I mean the forever kind? He's never been forthcoming with his feelings." I confess.

"Lizzie, you _are_ different. He has had the sort of upbringing that only the likes of royals can relate to. He and Georgiana … They have this heritage, in that way they are like royalty, born into a dynasty they are prepared for all of their lives. They are expected to continue the lineage. Nick more so than his sister. He's told all of his life to marry well, produce a son and heir, someone to carry on the name of Darcy, to run the estate like many Darcy's before him."

"Are you trying to convince me we _aren't_ meant to be together?"

"No I'm trying to explain to you why he's so guarded, why it seems like he doesn't want a future with you, when there can be nothing further from the truth."

I'm confused. "So you are saying there _is_ a future for us."

"I'm saying you will have to work hard for it. Overcome obstacles no other normal couple in a normal relationship would have to think about. But that if you do all that, if you overcome everything and you do make it work, then Lizzie I think you will be the making of that man and in return he will ensure you will share in a future more happy than any of us can even hope for."

"That's very profound."

"I'm a profound kind of a man."

I laugh and then say seriously, "thanks Richard, for everything."

"You're welcome Lizzie Bennet. One more thing my aunt Catherine is-"

"She's here." I drop my phone ending my call with Richard. Outside is Lady Catherine marching towards the front door. For a moment I think about running out the back door and hiding behind the shed like we did when we we're in trouble as kids. But no, if Nick can do this, so can I.

The doorbell rings causing a stream of 'who's that's.' "I'll go." I shout back. I open the door stepping out and closing it behind me. Rude I know, but it was on purpose. I don't want a show down in front of my family, especially my dad, he's had enough trauma the past couple of weeks. "Lady Catherine what a pleasant surprise." I had only seen her in passing at Rosings, having her on my doorstep was rather imposing, as ever my courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.

"Miss Bennet, you're not going to invite me in?" she asks incredulously.

"No it's a nice evening, I thought we could go a little walk into the village if you are agreeable that is?" I know it's cheating sticking to public places, but hey, a girl has to choose her weapons carefully. She's visibly affronted by my suggestion but whether she also wanted to be somewhere public for my dressing down, or she just didn't want to have to make small talk with my family, she agrees. We set off walking and I feel my phone vibrate, someone is calling me. I discreetly pull it out and glance at the screen, Nicks smiling face is flashing on the screen. No Nick, not this time. I can do this myself. I turn off my phone and pop it back into my pocket. I take a deep breath and strike up the conversation. "So Lady Catherine, what is this all about? If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh come on Miss Bennet don't play coy with me, you know exactly why I'm here."

I quicken my pace matching hers step for step. "I'm sorry but I really don't. I have no idea. Is it something to do with Rosings? Are you wanting me to return sooner than planned?"

"Miss Bennet," Lady Catherine spat, her eyes growing angrier with each syllable, "you ought to know, that I am not to be trifled with. You may stand there acting perplexed. I however have no intention of doing so. I am known for my sincerity and frankness, and today will be no different." Her gaze drifts to a nearby bench and she heads towards it. I sigh and follow. Once seated she refuses to look at me. "A report of a most alarming nature reached me two days ago. I was told that _you_ , that Miss Elizabeth Bennet, would, in all likelihood, be soon engaged to my nephew, my own nephew, Mr Darcy. Though I _know_ it must be a scandalous lie," she chuckles. "I would never dream of insulting him enough to imagine it a possibility," she reasons. "I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, so that I might make my sentiments known to you."

I feel my cheeks colour and take a second to not only digest what she had insinuated, but also to choose my own words carefully. She is still my boss, and Nicholas' Aunt, I can't very well tell her what I really thought of her coming here. "If you believed it impossible to be true, I wonder why you took the trouble of coming so far." I try to hide the sarcasm from my voice. Her eyes flicker to mine widening in horror at my words. "What does your Ladyship expect me to say?"

"I expect you to contradict such a rumour. For you to make the ridiculousness of it universally known."

"I would have thought to any outside onlookers, your visit to Longbourn today, to see me and my family," I reply coolly, "would rather confirm such a rumour, if, indeed, such a rumour exists."

"If! Are you attempting to claim you haven't heard of it? Has it not been industriously circulated by yourself?"

"I have done no such thing." I answer honestly.

"And can you likewise declare, that there is no _foundation_ for it?"

I swallow hard. That I could not answer honestly. I choose instead avoidance. "I do not pretend to possess equal frankness with your ladyship. _You_ may ask questions which _I_ may or may not choose to answer."

"Miss Bennet you are one of the most frustrating people I ever had the unfortunate to meet. I insist on you giving me a straight answer. Has he, has my nephew, made you an offer of marriage?"

 _Yes … sort of._ "You have declared that to be impossible."

"It ought to be so, but I know how you girls work. You use your charms and allurements," she drops her eyes to my Bennet curse heaving with anger growing inside me, "to in a moment of infatuation, cause him to forget reason and all that he owes to himself and to all his family. You may have drawn him in."

"If I have, I should be the last person to admit it, would I not?" I smile.

Lady Catherine rose to her feet glaring down at me. "Miss Bennet, do you know who I am?" I bite my lip to restrain from answering. "I have never been spoken to in such a manner in all my life. I am almost the nearest relation he has in the world, and am entitled to know his business when it concerns my family."

I rise to my feet also. She is a little smaller than me but in her expensive heels we are eye to eye. "But you are not entitled to know _mine_ ; and no amount of insults, patronisation or such behaviour as this, will ever persuade me otherwise."

She huffs and begins to pace in front of me. "Let me be understood once and for all. This match, to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place." She looks straight at me. "Never." The pacing ceases and she returns to her seat, I remain standing a few feet away, unable to rest while she rants. "Nicholas Darcy will be married to someone who is of his breeding and status. Someone whom I shall deem acceptable. I have an arrangement with a close friend and business associate that he will marry their daughter Anne." At those words I feel the wind knock my feet from under me and I have to sit to prevent from falling. _He was already engaged_. "The match will be in keeping with our class and establish a union between our two companies. Now what have you to say?"


	22. Chapter 22

**I think I should point out this is not the final chapter. Enjoy ...**

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

A union between companies? It wasn't love, it was just what she had said; a pre- arranged marriage, that he probably wasn't even aware of, less in agreement with. I square my shoulders. "If that is the case, and Nicholas is promised to someone else, why do you suspect he has proposed to me?"

Lady Catherine hesitates for a moment, and then replies, "The engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. Upon the death of his parents Nicholas has been under my care, as his god mother I have made decisions that were in his best interest whether or not he understands that. They have been intended for each other for a great number of years and I will not have such a deal scuppered by a young woman of inferior birth, of no importance in the world. Do you think so little of him that you would see his chance of such a future destroyed?"

Deal? We are talking about matters of the heart and she is referring to it all as a deal. I smile to myself. Nick would go mad if he knew what he aunt was proposing. "No. But, if there is no other objection to my marrying your nephew, I shall certainly not be kept from it by knowing that his god mother has arranged a marriage that, reading between the lines, he doesn't even have any knowledge of. The union between him and this _associates_ daughter, is your choice and the choice of her parents. It is not Mr. Darcy's choice. He did not propose to her and is therefore not obliged to participate in such a _merger_. If he chooses to propose to someone else, then it is just that, _his_ choice, and if that choice should be me, why should I not accept?"

"Because, Miss Bennet, should you choose to force my nephew to participate in this ridiculous plan of yours, everyone around you will know why. They will all know you have entranced him as far as to thinking he is in love with you. That you are only after the wealth and status that the name of Darcy ensues. You will be despised by everyone connected with him. Your relationship will be a disgrace; your name will never even be mentioned by any of us. Nicholas would be disowned by his own family and friends. If his future is with you, then there will be no future for him."

"I agree the thought of never being acknowledged by yourself or those in agreement with you is very … _unfortunate_. However I would think that the wife of Mr Darcy would have such extraordinary happiness that would ultimately come with her situation, that she could, upon the whole, live with that." I smile.

"Why you obstinate, headstrong girl! I am ashamed of you! Is this your gratitude for my gracious generosity? You have been given a position in my company, one which you have squandered and used to your own advantage. Let me make this abundantly clear Miss Bennet, I shall not be leaving here today disappointed. I came here to have you either refute the rumour or to admit you started it and that it has not an ounce of truth to back it up. Either way the result is the same. You will not marry my nephew."

"Then I'm afraid I feel sorry for you Lady Catherine, it seems either way you _shall_ leave here disappointed."

"I will not be interrupted! You remain silent until I have finished. Did your parents fail to teach you any manners?" I shut my mouth more out of shock than instruction. "My nephew will marry as arranged. They are both descended from a noble, respectable and honourable line, though untitled on their side, the family is well known throughout our circles and their wealth matched. They are destined for each other, I will not allow the upstart pretensions of a young woman without title, connections, or fortune divide them. This notion you have will end today." She rises to her feet once more and straightens her impeccable designer suit, picking at invisible bit of lint. "You would not survive in our world Miss Bennet, I have no idea why you should think you could quit the one in which you have been brought up."

I stand to my feet and move in front of her preventing her from walking away. "In marrying your nephew, I should not consider myself as quitting that world. He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman's daughter; so far we are equal."

"You maybe a gentleman's daughter. He is a doctor of good reputation I am assured, but what about your mother? Do not imagine me ignorant of her reputation."

I can only guess what she had heard. My mum is embarrassing and at times down right ridiculous, but she is mine, and I won't have them dragged into this. "My parents have nothing to do with this. If your nephew does not object to them, neither can you." I leave her pondering that thought while I began walking back to the house.

I can hear her as she quickened her step to catch up with me. In no time at all she was at my heels, her unrelenting voice in my ear. "Tell me once for all, are you engaged to him?"

I halt immediately, tears are building in my eyes that had nothing to do with the way I which she was speaking to me. "I am not." I confessed sadly. It is the truth. We are not engaged, nor did I ever think that was even a possibility at this point.

Lady Catherine seems pleased. "And will you promise me, never to enter into such an engagement?"

"I most certainly will not!" the sadness forgotten, I continue walking.

"Miss Bennet I am shocked and astonished. When I travelled here today I expected to find a more reasonable young woman. My beliefs and opinions will never change, and I shall not leave here until you given the assurance I require."

I sigh to prevent from screaming. Turning to face her I snap. "Then her ladyship shall have a long wait!" The look of total astonishment on her face is one worthy of laughter but I am too angry at this point. "I am not intimidated by _who you are_. You seem to be under the impression that if a proposal takes place and I refuse him, he will be in complete agreeance with your plan and partake in the arranged marriage. Suppose we are engaged and I call it off, do you really think he will just go running to you begging you to make the choice for him? From what I know of Mr Darcy, he is a very proud and opinionated man. I do not believe anyone could force such an important decision on him. Do you?" I stare at her. She doesn't answer but her lips contort and twist like she is tasting something very unpleasant. "Lady Catherine if you think that any of the arguments you have put forward today would persuade me to take your advice above my own judgement you are very much mistaken. I wonder what your nephew would make of your interference in _his_ business. I do know that no right to concern yourself in mine. I must ask that we end this _conversation_ now."

"Not so hasty, if you please. I am by no means done." She holds my arm firmly preventing me from moving without causing damage to one or both of us. "I have one further objection to add to the already long list. I am aware of your youngest sister's recent behaviour and involvement with a member of Rosings Staff. Her appearance at the Rosings Christmas party was embarrassment enough. To think my nephew would be related to such a family. And to have this family wandering around the Darcy estate, the shades of Pemberley polluted to such a degree?"

"You can _now_ have nothing farther to say," I shrug my arm out of her hold the best I could until she finally let go. "You have insulted me in every way possible. I am going home." I walk quickly away.

"This unfeeling selfish attitude is exactly what I was afraid of. You would rather be with him and cause him to become a disgrace." She calls after me.

I am almost at the driveway when I pause and turn to face her. "Lady Catherine, I have nothing else to say to you, I have made my feelings clear. Please leave."

"You still mean to have him?"

"I have said no such thing. I will say this; any decisions I make will be in my own opinion, that which will make me and those closest to me happy. I do not need, nor ask for your advice, and shall certainly never take it."

"I can see it is pointless for me to continue, I _shall_ leave, Miss Bennet. But know that I am most seriously displeased."

As I watch her drive away I sit on the front door step to gather myself together. I hadn't lied, Nick and I are not engaged. Yet. Maybe we never would be, _oh god I hoped we would_. Thinking of him I pull my phone out and fire it up. As soon as the screen came to life it fills with missed calls, voicemails and texts all from him. I scroll to the texts first.

Nick: _Lizzie we need to talk, please answer your phone_.

Nick: _God Lizzie, Rich just told me Catherine's there, do you need me to come over? Please call me._

Nick: _Lizzie I'm going mad here! Richard won't let me come to you, he says I have to leave this one to you, I'm not sure what he means, but know I'm thinking of you. Please call me._

Nick: _Lizzie, please call. Even if it's just to say goodbye._

The last one tears at my heart. Goodbye? Does he really think that's how this is going to go, after everything he did? I swiftly type out a message, not ready to speak to him.

Me: _C gone, I'm still standing. Don't think I'll be welcome back at the New Years' Eve party though! I'm fine, please stop worrying. I'm not ready to say the 'G' word yet. X_

I wake up feeling groggy after a restless night's sleep. Not entirely but in the most part due to the insane heat wave that has decided to fall upon us, despite it being late September. The weathermen are calling it an Indian summer. My mum calls it an excuse for one more BBQ. All the family are invited, including the Gardner's. And the Collins'. I am looking forward to seeing Charlotte at last, I missed her. It's my last weekend before I go back to my flat and to Rosings. If I in fact still have a job to go back to. With all her insults and suspicions Lady Catherine had never actually fired me. I have a feeling mum definitely hasn't brought enough wine to get me through the next twenty four hours. After a shower I trudge downstairs to see if anything needed setting up and to grab some left over breakfast.

"Good morning Lizzie." Dads voice makes me jump. I must be more tired than I thought. I didn't notice him sat at the table, wait something's different? No paper.

"Where's your paper?"

"I need a little chat with my favourite daughter, there's no need for a paper."

"Favourite? You know you're not supposed to have favourites don't you dad? It doesn't exactly encourage sisterly affection?" I sit at the table smothering a piece of toast with jam before stuffing it in my mouth.

"Mr Darcy."

I choke and splutter, shooting bits of toast and jam all over the place. I pull the rest out of my mouth as swallowing is out of the question right now. My throat is constricted. "Excuse me, went down the wrong hole! What about Mr Darcy?"

"I hear things Lizzie, like Mr Darcy knocking seven bells out of George Wickham because he insulted one of my daughters, and I see things. Like Lady Catherine De Burgh at our house last night."

I gulp, I totally forgot about dad's friend who works at Rosings, the one who had got me the job, of course he would tell him. "Dad it's not what you think." _It's not? What was it actually?_

"Oh really, so it's not that he's in love with you and would do about anything to prove it. And that wasn't his aunt coming round here warning you off him then?"

"I … um… I-" I look around the kitchen searching for an answer, Dad knows _everything_.

"Lizzie, you are the most sensible person under this roof, including me, and I have every faith you know exactly what you are doing, so whatever decision you make I will support you a hundred percent. We know him to be a bit of an arrogant sort of fellow, but with what he did regarding Lydia, that could easily be over looked. Even more; should you love him too." He admits.

I can't lie to my dad, I never could. "I do love him dad, I love him so much." I break down. Dad's eyes water, he hated to see any of us upset. "He's not arrogant, he's proud, and stubborn but then so am I."

"Well it sounds like you already have everything worked out then." He sits back.

"Dad how can you say that? We have nothing worked out! We come from such different backgrounds, he has this huge amount of money. He has a lake dad, a lake!"

"Lizzie, you love him, he loves you. There is nothing else to it." With that he picks up his paper and disappears behind it. I blow out an infuriated breath and turn to leave when he stops me placing a hand on my arm, I look down in to his brown eyes. " _I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy."_

The scorching sun beats down on our garden, full with all the people who we love most. _Almost_. The BBQ is in full swing and the drinks are flowing. Mum is having a great time, trying to convince Jane and Charlie she needs a grandchild before the Lucas's. Mary has put down her ipod and is helping keep some of the younger kids occupied. I have spent time with Charlotte and learned that despite his faults she is happy with Dr Collins. I look at him as he follows her around. I had asked her if she thought marrying him had been a mistake if she was being foolish for accepting such a man, her reply had been " _We are all fools in love._ " I thought about her words and how true they were. We have all acted so foolishly in our pursuit of happiness. At least, for the most part, people have found theirs. Jane and Charlie have made their way to the love seat at the bottom of the garden where they are holding hands and gazing into each-others' eyes. Even my dad has his arms around my mum making her giggle. In amongst all this, I never felt more alone. I miss him.

"LIZZIE! LIZZIE!"

I can hear his voice, it's calling mine, I'm dreaming. I don't remember falling asleep but I must have, because this can't be Nick Darcy striding across my parents garden in his damn white shirt- sleeves rolled up to his elbows, no tie- black trousers. Not exactly BBQ attire. No this must be a dream. A very good dream. I sit down screwing my eyes shut. "Lizzie." His hands are touching mine, it seems so real. "Lizzie please open your eyes, I need to speak to you."

"No you can't speak, I'm dreaming." He chuckles, then the git pinches me. "Ouch!"

I open my eyes. He smiles at me. "See? You're not dreaming. Now listen to me. Firstly," his eyes soften, "you look beautiful." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles, I'm suddenly aware everyone in the garden is silent and looking at us, dad is physically restraining mum from coming over here. I notice Richard is here too, with a big silly grin on his face. "Secondly, I need to apologise for my Aunt."

"No you don't. I told you, you never need to apologise for other people. They're not you." I tell him.

He kneels down in front of me sitting back on his heels, looking at me like I'm the only one he sees.

"No. No, they're not me." He speaks softly. "She told me what you said. I have to say it had the opposite effect to the one she had intended. It gave me hope. Hope that there may still be a future for us." A breeze blows a strand of hair across my face, he reaches up and pushes it behind my ear. I gasp at the touch of his hand on my face. He holds it there and I take his hand in mine so now we're holding both hands.

"Well yes, I suppose if I felt nothing for you, I wouldn't have hesitated in telling your aunt that."

He smiles his Lizzy smile and I feel my body relax. "About the other night." He begins.

"Oh please don't let us talk about it, I'm ashamed of some of the things I said."

"You were right." He glances over his shoulder and frowns at the audience we have. I place a hand gently under his chin and bring his attention back to me, silently begging him to continue, I want to hear what he had come here to say. I _need_ to hear it. He squeezes my hand and looking in to my eyes continues his speech. "I have been selfish all of my life. It may not have appeared so on the outside but I was. As a child I was taught what was right but I was also spoiled. As an only child for so long and even after, an only son. My parents, although good people, my father especially, allowed, _encouraged_ me to be this way. I was made to only see those outside of our close family circle as people to be judged of their standing and their self-worth, to only compare it with my own. I have been this way my whole life, and expect I would have stayed that way, if it hadn't been for you my darling Elizabeth."

"How can I believe you could be so selfish when you have done so much for my family? You saved Jane from heartbreak and Lydia from disgracing herself entirely. My family are forever in your debt."

He shook his head. "If you will thank me," he replies, "let it be for yourself alone. Your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you." He pauses looking down at our joined hands and then back at me with such passion it takes my breath away. "Lizzie I need to know. If your feelings are still what they were the other night, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you and I will leave your life for ever."

I take a breath in, and whisper "you proved it."

"What?" He looks at me bewildered.

"You proved it." I repeat.

He smiles my smile. The Lizzie smile. God I love him.

"Elizabeth Bennet I choose you. I choose you over everything and everyone. I love you. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. I'll tell anyone and everyone you want me to. I'll hold hands with you wherever I can. I'll kiss you whenever I can. And when I make you my wife I want everyone there to see it." He moves into position of on one knee and holds out a little red box.

A tear runs down my cheek. I glance round at the friends and family waiting with baited breath. I prevent a laugh from escaping at how the garden appears spilt between those that knew and those that didn't. Richard and my dad both have big grins on their faces. Jane has her hands up to her mouth like she's about to cry. Charlie stands beside her completely baffled. My aunt Gardner is the one that surprises me the most, she has a look on her face that says 'at last.' I bring my gaze back to the face of the man in front of me. My proud, stubborn, arrogant, loving, warm and gorgeous man. I take his little finger and link it with mine. "I love you Mr Darcy. I want nothing more than to be yours forever."

He slides the ring on to my finger and the box falls to the floor forgotten as he gathers me to him and claims me in an emotion filled embrace that only leads to another ardent kiss. The garden erupts around us. It's difficult to tell who is most pleased, but I'd like to think it was Nick and I. He whispers words of love and endearments in my ear and I laugh between the happy tears. My friends and family flock toward us offering their congratulations and to hear first-hand the story of our complicated courtship. Nick and I break apart reluctantly to accept the well wishes. My mother pulls me to her ranting on about her sneaky daughter and keeping things from her and how she knew all along I wouldn't be single for long. I look over at my fiancé to find him locked in a serious conversation with my father. Surely dad isn't making him ask for his permission. After the conversation we had this morning he knew how I felt. I look again and find Nick beaming at something dad has said to him and I immediately relax. Richard is the next to seize my attention. Pulling me in for a kiss and welcoming me to the family, I thank him and confess how I wish Georgiana could be here. He kisses me again and turns revealing Nick with a stony expression on his face, I cock an eyebrow at him and he glances at Richard and then back to me. I roll my eyes at his jealously and hold my hand up to him to remind him of the ring he had just placed on my finger. There is no more hiding, no more miss-understandings, I am his and he is mine, with no one to separate us.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Caroline**

I stare at the email flashing in front of me and take another long sip of wine. My fingers clasping the delicate stem of the glass. I slacken my grasp in case it should break. Setting it down up on the coaster. My eyes jerk back to the offending article lighting up my laptop screen. It's from Nick. The subject title is 'Important business' and it's been sent to all the senior partners at Rosings, including his aunt. I gingerly click open and take a deep breath in letting it out slowly. He won't resign, surely not, not because of _her_. He isn't stupid. He is … I allow my gaze to wander over the one personal item in my otherwise minimalist penthouse apartment. The large heavy framed print on the mantel piece that seems to clash with the white clean lines the interior designer I hired spent so long choosing. This is mine, my addition to my perfect designer lifestyle. There is a film of dust on the glass and I make a mental note to have words with the cleaner. Nick's face beams up at me, in a rare moment of complete happiness and liberty he allowed himself the freedom to smile. Charlie is centre with an arm around each us looking so proud. As he was. As he told us both repeatedly all that day. Nick and I are adorned in our black cap and gowns. Graduation. Georgiana had taken the picture. Nick and I finishing law school. Charlie was in the year below and as such had finished the year later. I look again at Nick. We were supposed to be together, isn't that what everyone had assumed? Nick and Caroline. The perfect power couple. A force to be reckoned with both in and outside of the court room. But no, he had chosen her. The secretary. Eliza Bennet.

I lay the picture face down so I don't have to look at him smiling any longer. I haven't seen it much since that day. How could he have been seeing her for all this time without any one knowing? It's impossible. Someone _must_ would have known. _I_ should have known. I didn't and now he's marrying her. Charlie had been so excited on the phone. His ramblings meant I struggled to get a word in edge ways, lucky really, since at that moment I was speechless. I had heard the rumours, witnessed for myself his altercation with George Wickham at the office two weeks ago, I had heard about Lady Catherine's visit to her. I would have thought she would have put a stopper in any ridiculous notion she had of them being together but no they had battled through it, won their argument and were now going to live happily ever after. I snort to myself and pick up my glass once more.

The apartment is large and spacious. Minimal, clean white and so me. That's what the designer had told me. I didn't know what _me_ was. I still don't. Caroline Bingley. In the courtroom I'm known as the tornado. A nickname I had picked up long ago and never bothered to have squashed. I supposedly destroy everything in my path leaving nothing but destruction in my wake. I guess you could say it is true. I have a near perfect record. Mainly because of the way I choose my cases. Carefully selecting each one after consideration. I only choose those arguments I can win, or rather ones that at least deserve my time and energy to fight. It's much the same in life. I will always consider my own consequences in each decision I make. I choose the side I know will be most beneficial to me. And this one is toying with my opinions. I want to be there for Nick as a friend but feel betrayal at the way he treated me over this whole Bennet girl thing. I could take Lady Catherine's side and therefore guarantee my future alliance with Rosings, but there is a part of me niggling inside, telling me this time she won't win. If that was the case, and Nick left, where would Rosings be then? Would there be a future to be part of?

I re read the email slowly weighing up my options. Nick talks of a meeting, a proposal he wishes to put forward. I have no idea what that proposal could be and that part is causing me the most discomfort, being in the dark is never a good feeling, especially not in the world of law. I would never enter a court room unprepared, and this is exactly what I am supposed to do in the morning. I have to enter a board room filled with people awaiting an announcement from one of my oldest and dearest friends and then chose a side. But which side? I pick up my glass and walk over to the sofa sitting back. I never realised how uncomfortable these things are. I guess I never truly sat back and attempted to relax on it. As with every item of furniture in here, it was picked for me not by me. I drain my glass and turn to fetch another bottle from the wine cooler before remembering the meeting is at nine the next morning and I really should have a clear head for whatever he is about to lay at our feet. After last week and my embarrassing phone call to Eliza, I'm having to be more careful. Deciding instead to retire for the evening I stack the dishwasher with my one pate, knife, fork and glass, and on my way past stand the picture back up.

The next morning in the office everyone is nervous. The partners had all had the same email most had no idea of the burgeoning relationship between our leader Mr Nicholas Darcy and Eliza Bennet. They know something's up from the way he acted last week but no one knows the reason behind it. Richard Fitzwilliam still hasn't arrived and neither has Lady Catherine. Charlie sits across from me in my office furiously typing on his phone. He has barely said two words to me since he got in and certainly won't comment on what Nick is going to announce, I know he knows, I can tell. He was always the same as child when he had a secret. I drum my highly polished nails on the desk and silently wonder if I will have time for a manicure later this week, when Lady Catherine strides past my open door. I rise from my seat ready for instruction but she blanks me. Charlie doesn't seem affected by her appearance, his phone dings again and I'm just about to make a grab for the thing and stamp on it when he jumps from his seat and dashes outside. Richard sees him and follows hastily. What is going on? I look at the clock, it is two minutes to nine; most people are milling about making coffee and talking amongst themselves. At one minute to, I leave my office and make my way to the conference room where the meetings is to be held. Once inside I find Charlie, Richard and Nick sitting together at one end. They all have their heads together and don't even acknowledge my appearance. As more and more people arrive they are forced to break apart. I smile at Nick a genuine, I miss you-you're my friend- smile but he doesn't return it. That sneaky little cow must have told him I was giving her a hard time. I chew the inside of my cheek nervously, for the first time in a lifetime, I am nervous. I don't know why I'm here or how it's going to affect me and I don't like it.

Lady Catherine enters the room, her assistant follows closely behind shutting the door and sitting beside it and note book in her hand. We all rise as she makes her way to her seat at the top of the table. It used to belong to her husband, I remember him well. He and Mr Darcy -Nick's father- ran the company with a firm but fare attitude that had people flocking to work for them. The best were handpicked and most around this table had been here a long time. The younger partners such as myself were lucky enough to have been selected straight out of law school and brought here. I couldn't imagine working anywhere else. Nick doesn't make eye contact with his aunt, I realise for the first time he doesn't have anything with him. No tablet, notebook, not even a pen, what is all this about?

The room is silent, each person round the table looking towards Lady Catherine or to Nick for guidance. Finally Nick stands and addresses the room. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for attending this meeting. I'm sure you have lots to be getting on with, so we'll keep this short shall we?" He has the whole room awaiting his every move, like when he's in court, he commands the space he's in. He's a wonder to watch. Catherine fidgets in her seat but the rest of room stay still, all eyes on him. "You may or not be aware that for some time now I have been in a relationship with a fellow colleague." Embarrassingly a few heads turn in my direction and I feel my cheeks flush unnecessarily. Yes, I am the obvious choice, the right choice. I lower my eyes to the table to save from having to look at them while Nick continues oblivious to the opinions around him and how wrong they are. "Now while my personal life should be just that," he pauses to flash a look at Catherine before continuing, "it appears our union has affected the work place so I am here to put a stop to it. The fact of the matter is, I have asked Miss Bennet to marry me, and she has said yes."

The silence shatters in an instant, the table erupts in whispers. The only person who remains silent is Catherine, her jaw is slack and her eyes widen in shock before narrowing and her lips tighten. Bitter, resentful. Here it comes...

"Nicholas!" she rose from her seat and all attention returns to her. "I must insist you put an end to this … this ridiculous spectacle and return to my office with me now, where we can discuss this in private, this is a family matter and should remain behind closed doors. Not in front of the staff."

Staff? I considered myself worth more than that, and so do a great number of people around this table. There is obvious dis pleasure on most people's faces being addressed as such.

"I apologise aunt is this makes you uncomfortable but I have not finished, if you would sit down I will continue." I don't know whether she is afraid or in shock at ever being spoken to like that before, but Catherine drops to her seat and the hush returns. "My fiancée," he smiles warmly, his face relaxing around the word, I'm not even sure he is aware. He looks ... happy, "would like very much to return to work and I for one-" He looks up at each person around the table carefully. "I for one would like that too. She has done nothing wrong, her work has been impeccable. I see no reason why our relationship should hinder her progress in the company. She has made it perfectly clear she requires no help from me, and is eager to thrive through her own merit and nothing else. To put it bluntly she wishes to be treated like before, like any other secretary on the floor. She is not, and will never be, just Mr Darcy's other half. She is a woman in her own right and wishes to remain that way." He announces. Richard is grinning, I can't imagine Nick saying those last few words himself; they must have come from her. "Now although I could have made the decision to reinstate her alone, I feel it only right to bring you up to date on events and to include you in any decision. We are all a part of this company and without each and every one of you, Rosings would not exist. No one is valued higher than any other." Most people are nodding and smiling at him. "Caroline." I jump at the sound of my name. "Elizabeth was your secretary, would it be possible for her to be reinstated? Are you willing to work with her again?"

I swallow, I can feel every pair of eyes on me, I can see Lady Catherine out of the side of my eye and I know what she expects, but I need to consider my next words very carefully. "If that is what is to be, than it will be."

Nick sighs unsatisfied with my intentionally vague answer. "Caroline. I'm asking you directly, can you work with Lizzie? If there are any feelings of resentment between you and her, you need to voice it now. I won't hold anything against you. What is said in this room will be in confidence and Lizzie will never hear of it. If you can't work with her then I will see to assigning her to someone else."

"I can work with her." I say quietly, before raising my head and meeting him head on. "If it is decided she will return, then yes, I can work with her." I'm careful to hide the reluctance from my voice.

He sits down smiling at me like he's pleased and grateful and I hate myself that I smile back. Lady Catherine is trying to catch my eye but I purposely avoid her.

"You seem to forget Nicholas that I am still head of this company. My husband left _me_ in charge not you. You are a senior partner nothing more. On his instruction you may inherit one day, but not today." She glares at him. "I will be the only one who decides whether or not miss Bennet will return to her position with in Rosings."

"Lady Catherine, with all due respect, you have never being involved in the hiring and firing of the secretaries, assistants or even junior partners. You have always left that up to Richard and myself, why the sudden change?"

Catherine rises to her feet and stares down at Nick. "I will not have her here. I will not have you marry her. I will not allow it. I will not have her pollute the shades of Pemberley with her presence."

"Then you leave me no choice." Nick gets to his feet also. "I resign."

"Www-what!" Catherine splutters. "Nicholas you cannot be serious."

"I assure you aunt I am. If you will not allow Elizabeth to return to her position here, then I will also leave. What's more I will ensure she is presented to the best of my capability in a suit against Rosings for wrongful dismissal."

"She … You … This… I won't let you. You can't." Catherine pleads desperately. A few people begin to whisper their own conversation around the table. Nick ignores them.

"Yes I can and I will."

"Then go. There are plenty of people here left to take you place." She looks purposely at Richard. "Rosings would not suffer for it." Catherine sits down satisfied she has the upper hand.

"Lady Catherine," Richard gets to his feet and addresses his aunt. "At this point, I would like to say that if Nick should leave Rosings, then I will also tender my resignation."

Charlie stands beside him. "That goes for me too Lady Catherine."

"So Aunt are you prepared to lose three of the best of your employees in one go, or are you prepared to allow Elizabeth to return and accept her as my fiancée?" Nick asks.

Catherine eyes are angry and her mouth tightly closed, she had lost her fight, everyone around this table knows she won't lose Nick, let alone Richard and Charlie also. They have her. She can't let them walk away. It isn't worth it. _She_ isn't worth it. "Fine." Lady Catherine stands up once more, this time collecting her things and gesturing for her assistant to stand also. "Let her return. Have your bit of fun Nicholas, but do not coming to me for help when it all goes wrong and she reveals her true colours. When the name of Darcy is so far destroyed there's no one to help you but me. Because I won't help you. And I will never ever, accept her as your fiancée." They stride out of the room.

As the others begin to leave, Richard chuckles. "I suppose one out of two isn't a bad result."

Charlie looks at me. "Caz, you've been very quiet."

"You would have done that? Really left? Left all this?" I ask him incredulously.

"Nicks my best friend Caz, of course I would. It's what you do for people you care about. You want them to be happy."

Nick smiles at me and it throws me off kilter, he isn't supposed to smile, he isn't supposed to be warm and romantic and … weak. He's like me, we don't need love. We connect, make contacts. Friends, relationships, where is all this coming from? It's her. It is all her. She has him wound so tight around her finger he doesn't know which way is up. He is delirious. I will just have to put him straight. If putting up with her back at work is the downside, then it's something I will have to live with. Nothing will stop me driving a wedge between them and showing Nick how good it can be.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Two weeks later I am anxiously awaiting the return of little miss Eliza. _Lizzie_. I can't call her Eliza any more. She hates it. I knew that. That's why I called her that. Now I have to call her Elizabeth or Lizzie as she is known to those closest to her.

She would be Elizabeth.

I decide to call in to Nick office and assure him I am all for her return. Step one of my plan: make him think I like Eliza. Make him think I'm happy for them. Then he'll lower his guard and eventually there will be concerns, things between them not working out, traits he can't live with. Flaws in her perfect personality that I can use to my advantage. The door is open so I enter, Nick is nowhere to be seen. I go to the desk to write him a note when I see the picture on his desk. For the past few years the picture of Georgiana on his desk has been the usual formal sitting that only changed with her age, however that is not what I am looking upon now. The frame held a picture of Georgiana and Eliza, their faces squashed together cheek to cheek both with their tongue out. Their eyes are bright and sparkling, their faces lit up from the inside out. Happiness and glee. I feel sick inside. My gut wrenches and I feel like I might _actually_ throw up all over the imported desk. _Georgiana is mine_. We have always been close. As close as I allow myself to get with another human being not blood related to me. I have been the mentor and female figure for which she should strive to be like. I had been the one to introduce her to George Wickham and suggest it a good match. I never did understand why that didn't work out or why she distanced herself from me after that. When she left for college she became less and less frequent with her letters and emails until eventually they stopped. Other than the birthday cards and family occasions I had the privilege of being invited to, I hardly saw her. I miss her in a way. That female presence in my life. A friend.

I shrug myself out of my melancholy and return to my desk. I receive a phone call from reception to say my nine thirty is early, with no secretary in attendance yet, I have to go down myself and escort them up to the conference room. I enter the open lobby area and stop in my tracks. In front of me, about to enter the building through the large glass doors, are Nicholas and her, they are laughing and holding hands. He holds the door open for her above her head and she ducks under his arm. Once inside he slides his free hand around her waist and they walk across the floor. She bats him away laughing. I duck out of the way behind a concrete pillar so I can watch undetected. Nick looks around believing there is no one else present and pulls her towards him wrapping her hands around her back and holding them there as she begins to protest, before bending his neck down to her and kissing her. I never actually stopped and watched someone kissing like that. I mean I have seen it plenty of times on screen but to actually stand there feet away and witness something like that is … I don't know. But I don't like it. I don't like him kissing her and I especially don't like him doing it here in Rosings, a place of work for Christ's sake. It's him initiating it, not her. If anything she looks embarrassed and tries to pull away only to have him pull her back. His hands slide down and cup her bottom. I have to look away unable to stand it a moment longer, the thing that really plagues me is how I don't feel upset. I don't feel jealous. I don't feel hurt. I am angry, angry that she has what should be mine. But I'm not affected by them kissing, what does that mean?

I tip toe back up the last few steps and then make a noise coming back down them, to announce my presence. I see them break apart just as I appear and walk towards the desk. Pretending to be surprised at their appearance, I let them walk towards me. "Caroline, hi." She says.

"Welcome back Eliz-abeth." I correct myself. Her smile widens. "Nick. I'm just here to collect some clients that are here for an appointment." I explain. Elizabeth looks uncomfortable and shakes off Nick's hand. He's not happy about it and raises an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sorry Caroline. I should have been here earlier on my first day back. I'll take them upstairs and get them settled, that's my job." She turns to Nick scowling. "I'll see you later." She huffs and begins to walk away.

He reunites their hands and uses them to pull her back to him, kissing her again. She staggers a little, before shaking her head and straightening her back heads towards our clients. I don't know what just happened, but this day is growing steadily worse. Nick gazes after her like a love sick fool. I roll my eyes behind his back, as if he can see me, he turns almost catching me. "She's late because of me Caroline. I apologise. It won't happen again." he says sincerely.

"You said this _thing_ between you wouldn't affect work?" I remind him.

"Yes I did. Again I'm sorry." He looks at his feet. "I'm new at all this."

"Dating the staff?"

"Dating at all." He raise his head, "I can't help it. I love her. I struggle to let her go, I mean _physically_. It tugs on my heart to watch her walk away and to know I don't know when I will see her next."

"Wow." This time I roll my eyes pointedly at him.

He smiles. "Pathetic I know."

I try to smile back. "A little. I'm just surprised. It all seems to be happening so fast and now an engagement? You don't even know each other, not well at least."

"Careful Caz you sound a lot like lady Catherine." He warns.

"She wasn't completely wrong in what she was saying Nick. You are responsible for a lot of people. All I can say is thank god for pre-nup's. That way at least when you come to your senses you won't have lost too much. Not our beloved Pemberley. I couldn't stand it if she took that away from us."

I hadn't realised how far I'd let myself go until I saw the thunderous expression on his face. "Caroline. We've been friends for a long time, so I'm going to forget what you just said. But rest assured, if you ever say anything like that about my wife-to-be again, and it will you who will never set foot in Pemberley again, or Rosings, or anywhere near me, understood?" He threatens.

"Nick I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant." He cuts me off assuring me he had seen through my pretence already. "Elizabeth is here against my better judgement. I told her I would help her find employment somewhere new, a different practice. I didn't want her to return here, because despite what I told her, I knew there would be bitterness and jealousy. I just didn't expect it to come from one of my closest friends. Don't you want me to be happy Caroline? Don't you think I deserve someone after all this time of putting other people's happiness before my own? Someone who miraculously loves me for me. Lizzie isn't interested in Pemberley. She'd be happy if I sold it tomorrow and gave all the proceeds away to charity, she'd love me if I was living in a cardboard box. She loves _me_ Caroline and I love her too. Now please accept it and be happy for us. Be a part of our lives, or remove yourself from it." He states simply.

I nod, unable to speak after the scolding I had just received, not all, but in the most part, because of the truth he spoke. I am his friend and as Charlie had said, I should want him to be happy and if Elizabeth makes him happy … then I should let them be.

For as long as it lasts and then be there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart and ensuring he doesn't lose his family estate as long with his heart.

I spend the next few hours trying to prove how ok I am with their union, even if it is all a lie, I am a good actress. I have done it countless times before. I can act happy even if I am dying inside. At lunchtime I receive a text from Charlie asking me to come for dinner at their new place tonight. I'm reluctant to attend. I have a feeling a nice massage and bath is in order tonight, I wasn't up to spending time with _another_ Bennet. I call him to ask if it's possible to reschedule, but he tells me no and what's more, I won't be the only one in attendance. The happy couple are invited also. _Lovely_.

I decide then to make this my first opportunity to show Nick exactly what he is missing. I make an appointment at a few of favourite places and decide to cancel the rest of my clients and take the afternoon off to go shopping. I walk over to my secretary's desk and find her smiling at her phone. I look over her shoulder and see a photo of Nick acting goofy on her screen saver, he has on a silly hat and is pulling a face, I shrug off the feelings of disgust at what she is resorting my friend to and cough to make my presence known. She starts and quickly shuts her phone in her drawer. "Have you heard from Charlie or your sister, about tonight?"

"No, I hadn't but Nick, _Mr Darcy,_ has just informed me. It should be a nice night, it will be good for us to get to know each other away from work don't you think Caroline?"

I smile and quickly let it drop. "I will be taking the rest of the afternoon off. I have a few errands to run before tonight. Please cancel my appointments, make apologies and reschedule where necessary."

"Yes of course."

"You will be here while five I presume?"

"That is my finishing time, so yes I will here until them." She promises.

"Good. Thank you Elizabeth." I turn to go but something catches my eye, something glinting against the overhead lighting. I had tired my upmost to avoid looking at it while she had been here and now I have no choice, it is demanding I take notice of it. Her left hand covers the mouse near her keyboard and I get a full view of the ring sat there on her third finger, I am expecting a huge diamond, some trashy showy over-sized rock. A priceless gem too heavy for her to lift her hand. I'm not expecting the delicate intricate piece of jewellery I am now faced with. A piece I have seen countless times. One I never ever thought I would see upon anyone's finger except mine. It is Mrs Darcy's ring. It is the ring Nick's father had presented to Nick's mother. He had given her his mother's ring.

I swallow past the lump forming in my mouth and try to walk away while I still can. My legs are rapidly turning to jelly. I make it back to my desk and sink down into my chair. That ring, the one I have looked upon in all the pictures and paintings in Pemberley since I was a teenager. The one Georgiana had nervously removed from her mother's jewellery box one night to show me. The one Nick had promised his father to never give to anyone but his one true love, is now sitting on Eliza Bennet's hand! I slam my hands down hard on the desk causing the items on top to wobble. He can't have, he can't truly believe she's the one; he's intending to spend the rest of his life with her.

I think about the ring. I had thought about it off and on for years. Its thin yellow gold band completely made up of diamonds. And in the centre a large oval shaped diamond surrounded by a cluster of blue sapphires. _Something blue_ , their father had told their mother when he slipped it on her finger. On their first anniversary he had brought her earrings to match, on the birth of Nick; a bracelet. I wonder silently if Nick will shower Elizabeth with these gifts as well. She has the ring, she has the man and she has the future that was mapped out for me. How can this have happened? What did I do wrong?


	25. Chapter 25

**So this is it, the final chapter. I chose to continue with Caroline pov. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. It has all been greatly appreciated and helped spur me on. I feel quite lost now it's all over. What begun as just an idea I had one day after reading P &P for the hundredth time, has become a Labour of love and something I was reluctant to give up. Jane Austen, along with the Bronte's and Elizabeth Gaskell are all heroes of mine and I thoroughly believe they wrote ahead of their time. It's great that websites like these exist. **

**Chapter Twenty five**

I spend the next three hours being buffed, polished, waxed and tanned and everything else that enables me to look my absolute best. The new underwear I spent a small fortune on feels good against my skin. I slide a stocking clad foot into my Jimmy Choo's -again bought new for the occasion. It may only be dinner at Charlie and Jane's but that is no reason not to look a million dollars and the prices I paid today, I wasn't far off. My hair shone as I sweep it up into an up do and fasten a choker around my neck, strategically drawing attention to one of my best features. I step into my new cocktail dress, black of course, and review my appearance in the full length mirror in my dressing room. It will do.

I grab the bottle of wine I had purchased specially from the cooler, Nicks favourite, and make my way to the waiting car. I never went anywhere in taxis or any kind of public transport. I am a few minutes late, as planned. I want to make a grand entrance that will have Nicholas Darcy tripping over his own tongue. When the door opens and Charles tells me how beautiful I look, I feel I have accomplished what I set out to do. Jane joins him by his side glowing as usual. These two look like they are constantly in the middle of some private joke that is only between the two of them. It's nauseating. Jane also tells me how wonderful I look and offers me a glass of wine while we wait for the others. _What …_ "They're not here?"

"No not yet. They're … running late." Charlie grins at Jane who blushes shaking her head at him.

Shit. This is not how this was supposed to go. He should have been here to see me enter the room and realise then and there how it's me he should have by his side, whisking me off to Pemberley where I would become lady of the manor and – the door buzzes. Jane and Charles are nowhere to be seen, it will be up to me to let them in. I take a deep breath and a last look in the mirror before opening the door. The first face I see is Elizabeth. She is fresh faced, no make-up; her cheeks rosy, her eyes shining. Her hair is still damp like she just washed it and scraped up into a messy bun on the top of her head, my eyes fall down sweeping her body from head to toe. Her chunky cream sweater is falling off one shoulder, it falls just above her knees. She has on skinny jeans and some brown knee high boots that look like she had them for years. I smile to myself, this was going to be easier than I thought. She doesn't stand a chance. She sees me and her eyes widen as she takes me in. "Caroline! Wow you look … amazing. Doesn't she look beautiful Nick?"

I let my attention wander to him at last. He is also wearing jeans -an article I didn't even know Nicholas Darcy owned- his shirt is smart but crumpled. I can't believe I am looking at the same man I have known all these years. He runs a hand through his scruffy hair trying in vain to flatten it down. Jesus it looks like he just got up out of bed.

 _Oh._

He looks me up and down so quick I doubt he could even tell you the colour of my dress before turning to look Lizzie full in the face. His eyes flick from each feature on her face to the next. "Beautiful. Yeah." He answers, never taking his eyes off her. I feel my cheeks heat. He isn't talking about me, he hasn't even noticed me; he only has eyes for her. What the hell am I going to do to get him to notice me? Elizabeth shoves him playfully in the side and gestures to me. He takes me in properly. "Caroline, you look wonderful. Where's Charlie?" he looks over my shoulder.

He brushes past me and Elizabeth smiles at me apologetically. _She's pitying me_. I want to leave. But my pride won't allow it, so I sit here for the next hour making small talk and pretending to be relaxed with the company I find myself in, while Jane and Charles flirt outrageously in the kitchen and Nick and Lizzie are sat so close together on the sofa you can't see where one finishes and the other begins. She lays back like she might fall asleep. I stiffen my shoulders and sit up straight like a lady should. Her legs are beneath her and she shuffles trying to get comfy. Nick notices and grabs her legs pulling them across his lap, lazily drawing patterns on her thigh. She leans over him and whispers something in his ear. He looks across at me as if noticing me for the first time and then stops.

After the meal, Charlie explains the dessert is taking longer than they thought and that we should all retire to the living room once again while it is ready. I groan inwardly. Not more public displays of affection. Why am I here? Why had Charlie invited me? Is he trying to get back at me for something, had Nick told him about what I had said at work? As we all sit down, Charlie stands in the middle of the room grinning from ear to ear and bouncing on the balls of his feet. I look across at Jane, she's blushing. Lizzie has noticed it too, she grins and then starts crying. She jumps up, gathering Jane in her arms and they both begin to cry happy tears while hugging. I have no idea what is going on and I don't like it. I look across at Nick who I'm relieved to find looking as perplexed as me. Charlie speaks. "Nick, Elizabeth, Caroline, it gives me the greatest pleasure and pride to be able to tell you we are going to have a baby!" He gushes out gleefully. Nick laughs out loud and jumps to his feet taking Charlie in a bear hug and shaking his hand before kissing Jane and grabbing Elizabeth. This time he whispers something in her ear, she colours, nodding and whispering something back. Didn't her mother ever tell her it was rude to whisper?

I let myself digest the news while those around me celebrate, my little brother is going to be a father. He is going to have a child. I am going to be an aunt. Our family is no longer Charles and I. Now he has Jane and a baby. And I could be part of that. I could easily be genuinely happy and kiss them both and tell them how ecstatic I am for them like any normal person could and would. Why then do I not? Why am I sitting here unable to move, unable to tell my brother how proud I am of him and how he should be happy. I know why. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of everyone in this room. I'm jealous of Nick and Elizabeth and how good they are together. How well they fit when they shouldn't, not at all. How comfortable he is around her. I'm jealous of Charlie and Jane and how they still look at each other like they're the moon and stars. Like there is no one else in the room. I may never have been in love but I know what it looks like and it's right in front of me. I heave a sigh and rise to my feet. The merriment ceases and all eyes are on me. "Caroline? Are you … aren't you going to congratulate Jane and I?" Charlie asks. His smile slipping and a grimace taking its place. "You're going to be an aunt, Caz." He informs me through gritted teeth.

My feet propel me forward, my body acting of its own accord, it has better sense than me. I take Charlie in my arms and I sob into his shoulder. He stiffens at first, either because of our lack of sibling affection over the years, or at the assumption I am unhappy for him. Which cannot be further from the truth, I am happy for them. I am genuinely happy for once in my whole life. My face ached as a wide smile forces its way on to my lips and I breathe in my family. My home. "You are going to be an amazing dad Charles, you and Jane will be terrific parents and I can't wait to meet my niece or nephew." I whisper into his shoulder. He relaxes into my arms and I feel tears run down my perfectly made up face. His sniffs, he's crying too. We part long enough for him to gather himself and me to congratulate my sister in law. Elizabeth and Nick suggest they go to get the dessert and scamper into the kitchen. Five minutes later and they haven't returned. Jane and Charlie are basking in each other's company, sitting cosily together whispering, while Charlie rubs her barely there belly. I stand and sneak into the kitchen, glad to be away from the romance and wanting to know what is taking the others so long.

I don't have to wonder for long, as I approach the kitchen, the door is ajar and their voices seep out through the gap. I step to the side out of the light where I'm able to listen and see, without being noticed. Elizabeth is sat on the worktop, Nicholas is stood between her legs, a hand resting on each of her thighs. They're kissing. I fully intend leaving them be. I don't need to witness any more of this, I have seen enough at work this morning, however as I move to walk away I hear him speak. "Are you happy?"

"I should think you know the answer to that after this evening." She answers lightly. "What's that look for?"

"Are you happy with me?" he asks nervously.

"Mr Darcy. I am unbelievably happy. I am happier than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh." She giggles.

"Have I told you how undeniably beautiful you look tonight Lizzie Bennet?"

"Repeatedly Mr Darcy. It's a shame you weren't so complimentary of others here tonight."

"Who do you mean?"

"Caroline! Oh Nick you must have noticed, surely? She looks stunning, like she just stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. She must have spent hours getting ready. You know this means I'm right don't you?"

"Lizzie, yes Caroline looks beautiful tonight, but you are beautiful to me all the time, whether you make an effort or not. She pales in comparison to you, how can I take notice of anyone else when I have you sat beside me looking like you do?"

"Please. I'm a mess. I threw on the first things I could find and didn't even have time for make-up and hair." She scolds.

"Well that was my fault wasn't it? If I hadn't kept you so _pre-occupied_ you would have had long enough to get ready. To what end I don't know, to me you couldn't possibly look any better than you do right now, unless of cause you were naked and in our bed."

"Nick!" She hisses. But she smiles at him, pulling him close to her again. "What about Caroline?"

"What about Caz?"

"It's obvious she has feelings for you, that's why she dressed up like that, for you."

He sighs. "Lizzie we've been through this a million times, she's like a sister to me. I care very deeply for her, but I'm in love with you. Besides Caz feels the same way, she doesn't want to get married, I don't think there's anyone out there who could ever live up to her standard and ideals."

I bristle at his accurate description of me and wonder if that's why he never took our friendship any further.

"That's sad don't you think? You know when she married Charlie, Jane told me she was so happy she wanted everyone to be as happy as she, I didn't understand it at the time, but I do now, I want Caroline to find someone. I don't want her to be alone. She deserves love as much as anyone."

"Lizzie Bennet you never cease to astound me. Each and every day you give me something new to love about you."

I finally move away, willing my legs to carry me the short distance to the sitting room. Jane and Charlie don't even look up when I re-join them. Suddenly this apartment is rather over crowded. I need to leave, I want to be out of here and away from these ridiculously happy people. There are so many thoughts and feelings running through my head I couldn't think straight. I make my excuses to Jane and Charles and leave before the others have even returned from getting dessert. I'm in the hallway almost at the lift when he catches me. "Caroline, wait!"

"Sorry Nick, I find I have a bit of a head ache and I need to go home."

"Caroline, please just hear me out first." He asks. I heave a sigh and nod. Folding my arms in front of me. "That's was good of you in there, to be pleased for Jane and Charles. I know it will have taken a lot to give in to your heart, you always said you were ruled by your head not your heart and yet the warmth I saw in there, between the two of you was anything but. You love him Caz, he's your brother, there's no shame in showing your feelings, something I learnt recently."

I look into his eyes carefully. "You really love her. I mean like really. No publicity stunt way of angering your aunt, you love her, you want to spend each and every day with her forever?"

"Yes I love her." He says quietly, seriously. "It was nothing to do with my aunt or Rosing's. I fell in love Caz, I'm the first to admit I thought it was an impossibility, but it happened. I can't live without her. I really can't."

"You gave her your mothers ring." It wasn't a question.

"We're engaged. It's right that she should have it."

"Doesn't it worry you that's what she was after the whole time? She wants the Darcy name and all it entails."

"No. She doesn't want the money Caroline. I told you this morning she'd love me if I gave it all way, probably more, if I'm honest. It was never about Pemberley or the money, we're happiest when we're alone together in her little flat, she's only been to the penthouse a handful of times and each time she complained so much we went back home."

"Home?"

"Her flat. It might not be hers but it's where we feel most at home. We will move to Pemberley, when I eventually persuade her, but for now we're happy with how it is." He explains. It sounds like they have it all worked out. He steps forward taking my hand in his. "Caroline I want you to be happy for us, _truthfully_ , not in the usual Caroline Bingley way of pretending and feeling nothing inside. I want you to mean it. I want to look in to your eyes and see happiness there." He steps forward and I lose all of my senses. I surge forward and kiss him. After the briefest of contact, he pulls away holding me at arms-length looking horrified. "What are you doing?"

"I had to try it. I had to, or we never would have known." I answer truthfully.

"Never would have known what?"

"Whether we should have been together."

"Car-"

"It doesn't matter Nick." I interrupt. "You were right. There is nothing there. It felt weird. And not in a good way." I admit. "I don't know why I thought it would be anything but. I had to know. I couldn't go the rest of my life wondering what if." I take in a long breath blowing it back out slowly clearing my head and finding a new perspective. "I am happy for you Nick, I can't say I'm ready to be friendly with Elizabeth just yet; there are still a few bumps in the road to be ironed out. But I am happy for you. I love you very dearly, but you are right, I'm not in love with you. I never was. I need to find my own way and it is isn't with you at Pemberley."

His eyes narrow. "I'm confused. Are we ok now? No feelings other than affection." He asks puzzled.

"Nope." I clarify.

"So will you come back inside?"

"No. I'm trying Nick, I am, but this is all new to me and I need time to process it. Alone. Tell Elizabeth I will see her in the morning. Goodnight Nicholas."

"Goodnight Caz."

They say the truth can set you free, and for me it did.

Every word I said that night was the truth. It wasn't easy. At times it was downright impossible. I had moments –days- when I hated Lizzie Bennet with a passion and would have done about anything to come between them, but they rode above it, and in the end so did I. The more time I spent with them, and Charlie and Jane, the more I witnessed what true happiness was like. I finally found common ground with Lizzie, likes and dislikes that amazingly we had in common, we would never be best friends but we were close enough to stand being around each other for more than five minutes at a time. I was still welcome at my beloved Pemberley and with Georgiana with whom I was able to repair my friendship and become the big sister she really needed, someone for her to confide in away from her brother and future sister-in-law. I enjoyed my new life. I liked my new friends.

That's why two years after Nicholas placed his mother's ring upon the finger of one Elizabeth Bennet, I found myself stood at the front of a church surrounded by her gaggle of sisters and Georgiana, dressed in lemon chiffon as bridesmaid. I looked into the eyes of Lizzie and Nick and I knew I was where I was meant to be. The smiling faces throughout the congregation were testament to that. The only person unwilling to attend was Nicholas' aunt Lady Catherine. She still refused to accept Lizzie as the next Mrs Darcy. Regardless of her opinion, Nick did marry his true love and I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

Suggested Playlist

Never Knew I Needed You - NeYo

Wings - Birdy

You and Me - Lifehouse

I Dare You - LeAnn Rimes

Obvious - Westlife

How To Break A Heart - Nikki

Perfect - Hedley

My Everything - Ariana Grande

Can't Forget You - My Darkest Days

Crazy In Love (Fifty Shades Remix) - Beyonce

You Fill My Heart - Jason Walker

Where Is Your Heart - Kelly Clarkson

Goodnight Girl -Wet Wet Wet

Secret Love Song - Little Mix feat Jason Derulo

Nobody Compares - One Direction

Almost Is Never Enough - Ariana Grande feat Nathan Sykes

Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban

Over You By Now - Jana Kramer

All You Ever - Hunter Hayes

Wanted You More - Lady Antebellum


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